turned in a lousy set of picks in week eight… Terry followed her
down that horrendous path… and once Mike delivered his 9-4 effort
and I just bettered even, the entire top of the board was once
again shaken up.
is on the fringes of the discussion now… 6 picks back… but some
real separation is starting to develop. Sam is in trouble, and
Mike Jr is hurting from the loss of a week of picks.
thing about this week. I don’t have any time to research it. So…
what I’m going to do is simple… I’m taking nothing but underdogs.
Yup. Going with the dogs this week.
exactly all of them.
overall, yes, that’s my approach.
four cases though, it just seems impossible to pull the underdog
trigger. Honestly, in those four, it would be borderline reckless
to not go with the favorite. Which games? Well… you’ll just have
to wait and see.
we hit November and begin to think of Thanksgiving… Planes,
Trains & Automobiles for the quotes.
(2½) at Buffalo – “Welcome
to Marathon, may I help you?” “Yes.” “How may I help you?” “You
can start by wiping that f**king dumb-ass smile off your rosey,
f**king, cheeks. And you can give me a f**king automobile. A f**king
Datsun. A fucking Toyota. A f**king Mustang. A f**king Buick.
Four f**king wheels and a seat.” “I really don’t care for the
way you’re speaking to me.” “And I really don’t care for the way
your company left me in the middle of f**king nowhere with f**king
keys to a f**king car that isn’t f**king there. And I really didn’t
care to f**king walk, down a f**king highway, and across a f**king
runway to get back here to have you smile in my f**king face.
I want a f**king car. Right… f**king… now.”
“May I see your rental agreement?” “I threw it away.” “Oh boy.”
“Oh boy, what?” “You’re f**ked.” Cutler on the
road is reason number one why we won’t be straying from selecting
the underdog here. The other reason is how the Bills have played
the past couple of weeks. Check out the results this season and
you’ll find that some incredibly unexpected final scores have
become reality this year. The Bills have been close to two teams
that are focusing on playoff consideration. Toss in Jay and we’ve
got a deal.
Mike Jr: Chicago
Diego (2½) at Houston –
“What the hell are you driving
here?” “We had a small fire last night, but we caught it in the
nick of time.” “Do you have any idea how fast you were going?”
“Funny enough, I was just talking to my friend about that. Our
speedometer has melted and as a result it’s very hard to see with
any degree of accuracy exactly how fast we were going.”
Now this could be stupid. Every year the Chargers mount a run
and make everyone look silly for counting them out… even if that
run only lands them at something like 8-8. Whatever… they make
the playoffs. The Chargers are doing a solid job of scoring points…
and I’ll admit it, their record doesn’t make much sense when you
glance at the surface of their stats. Amazingly though, after
this game there is only Indianapolis on their schedule. Yeah…
yeah… I see the divisional games they have. What I’m saying is
there just isn’t much that looks imposing. Darn it… they should
stage a giant run.
Mike: San Diego
Mike Jr: Houston
Molly: San Diego
Orleans (6½) at Carolina
– “Mom, is Grandpa Walter going
to give me noogies?” “Of course he’s going to give you noogies.
He loves giving you noogies. That’s how he tells you he loves
you.” “Why doesn’t he give me noogies?” “Because you get Indian
burns.” “But I prefer noogies.” This is one of
the games where I’ll take the favorite. The Panthers cannot score.
They simply don’t know how. There isn’t a team in the NFL with
less than 118 points… except Carolina. They have 85. (Feel free
to take a few moments and let that sink in.)
Bob: New Orleans
Terry: New Orleans
Mike: New Orleans
Mike Jr: New Orleans
Molly: New Orleans
at Minnesota (9)
– “Do you have seventeen dollars
and a good watch?” “No. I don’t. I have uh... two dollars... and
a Casio.” Arizona doesn’t have a quarterback…
the Vikings will be a better team after the media backlash of
the past week… just watch Minnesota come out of the gate now and
explode… and wow, way too much in support of Minnesota this past
week. I’m not jumping on this train.
Mike Jr: Minnesota
Bay at Atlanta (8)
– “Del... Why did you kiss my ear?”
“Why are you holding my hand?” “Where’s your other hand?” “Between
two pillows.” “Those aren’t pillows!” I’m one
of those that doesn’t believe Tampa Bay is heading to 10 wins
and the playoffs. Sure… anything is possible. Especially with
games remaining against Carolina and Seattle. I just don’t think
they’re that good. (Honestly though… you have to check out their
schedule. Carolina, Detroit and Seattle at home. San Francisco
and Washington on the road. This club does have the potential
of 10 wins in its sights. I’m being realistic saying no way. But
if I were on their team, I’d be ticked off if I didn’t win ten
and qualify in the NFC with what they have left.) Anyway… this
contest… the average game for Tampa is a 19-23 loss. And… the
average game for Atlanta is a 24-19 win. Tampa hasn’t lost on
the road yet. This one should be close.
Bob: Tampa Bay
Mike: Tampa Bay
Mike Jr: Atlanta
Molly: Tampa Bay
Gus: Tampa Bay
York (Jets) (4) at Detroit
– “You’re going the wrong way! You’re
going to kill somebody!” I don’t like the way
the Jets have looked in recent weeks, have had a hard time buying
in to the whole improved quarterback philosophy, and the Lions
are stronger than many believe.
Terry: New York
Mike Jr: New York
Molly: New York
Sam: New York
at Baltimore (5)
– “He says we’re going the wrong
way.” “Oh, he’s drunk. How would he know where we’re going?”
This one hurts. The Ravens should punish Chad Henne. The thing
is… in part thanks to Henne… the Dolphins might be the most misunderstood
team in the league. They suffer by having the Jets and Patriots
in the division. They suffer with conference losses to New England,
New York and Pittsburgh that leave them at 4-3 overall. And yet
they have yet to lose on the road, and make almost every game
Mike Jr: Miami
England (4½) at Cleveland
– “Where are you going?” “Chicago.”
“Chicago?” “Yeah, Chicago.” “You know you’re in St. Louis?” “Yes
I do.” “Why don’t you try the airlines? It’s faster and you get
a free meal.” “If I wanted a joke, I’d follow you into the john
and watch you take a leak. Now are you gonna help me or are you
gonna stand there like a slab of meat with mittens?”
Ok… you probably knew this would be one where I picked the favorite.
No need to elaborate.
Bob: New England
Terry: New England
Mike: New England
Mike Jr: New England
Gus: New England
York (Giants) (7) at Seattle
– “You play with your balls a lot.”
“I do not play with my balls.” “Larry Bird doesn’t do as much
ball-handling in one night as you do in an hour!” “Are you trying
to start a fight?” “No. I’m simply stating a fact. That’s all.
You fidget with your nuts a lot.” “You know what’d make me happy?”
“Another couple of balls, and an extra set of fingers?”
Seattle is planning on starting the mascot from the University
of Washington at quarterback this week. The Giants are in the
middle of an annual run… where they win at least 5 straight. Three
Bob: New York
Mike: New York
Mike Jr: New York
City at Oakland (2½)
– “What’s the flight situation?”
“Simple. There’s no way on earth we’re going to get out of here
tonight. We’d have more luck playing pickup sticks with our butt-cheeks
than we will getting a flight out of here before daybreak.” “I
guess we’ll find out soon enough.” “Yeah, but by the time the
airline cancels this flight, which they will sooner or later,
you’d have more of a chance to find a three-legged ballerina than
you would a hotel room.” “Are you saying I could be stuck
in Wichita?” “I’m saying you are stuck in Wichita.”
I’ve been watching Kansas City play everyone tough this year.
In fact, their defense is playing exceptionally well. Oakland…
well… it seems like alot of smoke, mirrors and emotion to me right
now. Emotion is good… streaks can happen, and emotion can fuel
them. But I’m still not a believer in the return of the Raiders.
Bob: Kansas City
Terry: Kansas City
Mike Jr: Kansas City
Molly: Kansas City
Gus: Kansas City
at Philadelphia (2½)
– “You know I had a feeling that
when we parted ways we would somehow wind up back together again.
I’ve never seen a guy get picked up by his testicles before. Lucky
thing for you that cop passed by when he did.”
Umm… hold on. The Eagles are switching quarterbacks again, while
playing one of the better teams in the NFL, and they’re favored?
Quick… can anyone tell me the last time the Colts were an underdog?
(No fair just randomly saying “against New England” as a guess.
Try giving me a date.) I suppose the edge goes to the home team,
but I’ll take the underdog here without looking back.
Mike Jr: Philadelphia
at Green Bay (8)
– “What do you think the temperature
is?” “One.” There’s a huge problem with this game
when it comes to evaluating it. When you say that a team has quit,
given up, and essentially gone home for the year… they have no
pride… no one cares… well, it generally backfires at some point.
Things are a mess in Dallas. No question about it. But are we
ready to simply award the Packers a victory here? I think the
Cowboys are going to score this week. I think they’ll be in the
game until the end, with a chance to win it. I don’t think they
will win it… but this is exactly the type of toe-stubbing game
where the Green Bay teams of this season and last always seem
to stub their toe.
Mike: Green Bay
Mike Jr: Green Bay
Sam: Green Bay
(4½) at Cincinnati
– “You’re in a pretty lousy mood,
huh?” “To say the least.” “You ever travel by bus before?” (Shakes
head.) “Hmm. Your mood’s probably not going to improve much.”
Last year, Cincinnati won both games. In 2008, the Steelers destroyed
the Bungals twice. Welcome to 2010. There’s really nothing so
far in the way the season has gone to tell you much about this
game from Pittsburgh’s side of the story. The defense is good
and should control Cincinnati without much of a problem. Any surprise
there? No… of course not. But they’ve lost a couple of games and
been close in a few others. We can’t count on five or six scores
being delivered by Pittsburgh in this one. And if we’re assuming
that the offense might not get rolling, we could be looking at
a victory, with a 16-14 final score. In the end though. I haven’t
heard anyone mention anything about Cincinnati and football this
year. (That’s only a slight exaggeration.) I think we’ll cover
Mike Jr: Cincinnati
~ ~ ~
Last week 7-6, currently 57-53-7
Mike: Last week 9-4, currently 57-53-7
Molly: Last week 3-10, currently 56-54-7
Terry: Last week 3-10, currently 54-56-7
Gus: Last week 7-6, currently 51-59-7
Mike Jr: Last week 6-7, currently 45-51-7
Sam: Last week 4-9, currently 43-67-7