The 2010 NFL Picks
Week Nine


Molly turned in a lousy set of picks in week eight… Terry followed her down that horrendous path… and once Mike delivered his 9-4 effort and I just bettered even, the entire top of the board was once again shaken up.

Gus is on the fringes of the discussion now… 6 picks back… but some real separation is starting to develop. Sam is in trouble, and Mike Jr is hurting from the loss of a week of picks.

Funny thing about this week. I don’t have any time to research it. So… what I’m going to do is simple… I’m taking nothing but underdogs. Yup. Going with the dogs this week.


Not exactly all of them.

But overall, yes, that’s my approach.

In four cases though, it just seems impossible to pull the underdog trigger. Honestly, in those four, it would be borderline reckless to not go with the favorite. Which games? Well… you’ll just have to wait and see.

As we hit November and begin to think of Thanksgiving… Planes, Trains & Automobiles for the quotes.

Chicago (2½) at Buffalo“Welcome to Marathon, may I help you?” “Yes.” “How may I help you?” “You can start by wiping that f**king dumb-ass smile off your rosey, f**king, cheeks. And you can give me a f**king automobile. A f**king Datsun. A fucking Toyota. A f**king Mustang. A f**king Buick. Four f**king wheels and a seat.” “I really don’t care for the way you’re speaking to me.” “And I really don’t care for the way your company left me in the middle of f**king nowhere with f**king keys to a f**king car that isn’t f**king there. And I really didn’t care to f**king walk, down a f**king highway, and across a f**king runway to get back here to have you smile in my f**king face. I want a f**king car. Rightf**kingnow.” “May I see your rental agreement?” “I threw it away.” “Oh boy.” “Oh boy, what?” “You’re f**ked.” Cutler on the road is reason number one why we won’t be straying from selecting the underdog here. The other reason is how the Bills have played the past couple of weeks. Check out the results this season and you’ll find that some incredibly unexpected final scores have become reality this year. The Bills have been close to two teams that are focusing on playoff consideration. Toss in Jay and we’ve got a deal.
Bob: Buffalo
Terry: Buffalo
Mike: Buffalo
Mike Jr: Chicago
Molly: Chicago
Gus: Chicago
Sam: Buffalo

San Diego (2½) at Houston “What the hell are you driving here?” “We had a small fire last night, but we caught it in the nick of time.” “Do you have any idea how fast you were going?” “Funny enough, I was just talking to my friend about that. Our speedometer has melted and as a result it’s very hard to see with any degree of accuracy exactly how fast we were going.” Now this could be stupid. Every year the Chargers mount a run and make everyone look silly for counting them out… even if that run only lands them at something like 8-8. Whatever… they make the playoffs. The Chargers are doing a solid job of scoring points… and I’ll admit it, their record doesn’t make much sense when you glance at the surface of their stats. Amazingly though, after this game there is only Indianapolis on their schedule. Yeah… yeah… I see the divisional games they have. What I’m saying is there just isn’t much that looks imposing. Darn it… they should stage a giant run.
Bob: Houston
Terry: Houston
Mike: San Diego
Mike Jr: Houston
Molly: San Diego
Gus: Houston
Sam: Houston

New Orleans (6½) at Carolina“Mom, is Grandpa Walter going to give me noogies?” “Of course he’s going to give you noogies. He loves giving you noogies. That’s how he tells you he loves you.” “Why doesn’t he give me noogies?” “Because you get Indian burns.” “But I prefer noogies.” This is one of the games where I’ll take the favorite. The Panthers cannot score. They simply don’t know how. There isn’t a team in the NFL with less than 118 points… except Carolina. They have 85. (Feel free to take a few moments and let that sink in.)
Bob: New Orleans
Terry: New Orleans
Mike: New Orleans
Mike Jr: New Orleans
Molly: New Orleans
Gus: Carolina
Sam: Carolina

Arizona at Minnesota (9)“Do you have seventeen dollars and a good watch?” “No. I don’t. I have uh... two dollars... and a Casio.” Arizona doesn’t have a quarterback… the Vikings will be a better team after the media backlash of the past week… just watch Minnesota come out of the gate now and explode… and wow, way too much in support of Minnesota this past week. I’m not jumping on this train.
Bob: Arizona
Terry: Arizona
Mike: Minnesota
Mike Jr: Minnesota
Molly: Minnesota
Gus: Arizona
Sam: Minnesota

Tampa Bay at Atlanta (8)“Del... Why did you kiss my ear?” “Why are you holding my hand?” “Where’s your other hand?” “Between two pillows.” “Those aren’t pillows!” I’m one of those that doesn’t believe Tampa Bay is heading to 10 wins and the playoffs. Sure… anything is possible. Especially with games remaining against Carolina and Seattle. I just don’t think they’re that good. (Honestly though… you have to check out their schedule. Carolina, Detroit and Seattle at home. San Francisco and Washington on the road. This club does have the potential of 10 wins in its sights. I’m being realistic saying no way. But if I were on their team, I’d be ticked off if I didn’t win ten and qualify in the NFC with what they have left.) Anyway… this contest… the average game for Tampa is a 19-23 loss. And… the average game for Atlanta is a 24-19 win. Tampa hasn’t lost on the road yet. This one should be close.
Bob: Tampa Bay
Terry: Atlanta
Mike: Tampa Bay
Mike Jr: Atlanta
Molly: Tampa Bay
Gus: Tampa Bay
Sam: Atlanta

New York (Jets) (4) at Detroit“You’re going the wrong way! You’re going to kill somebody!” I don’t like the way the Jets have looked in recent weeks, have had a hard time buying in to the whole improved quarterback philosophy, and the Lions are stronger than many believe.
Bob: Detroit
Terry: New York
Mike: Detroit
Mike Jr: New York
Molly: New York
Gus: Detroit
Sam: New York

Miami at Baltimore (5)“He says we’re going the wrong way.” “Oh, he’s drunk. How would he know where we’re going?” This one hurts. The Ravens should punish Chad Henne. The thing is… in part thanks to Henne… the Dolphins might be the most misunderstood team in the league. They suffer by having the Jets and Patriots in the division. They suffer with conference losses to New England, New York and Pittsburgh that leave them at 4-3 overall. And yet they have yet to lose on the road, and make almost every game a battle.
Bob: Miami
Terry: Baltimore
Mike: Baltimore
Mike Jr: Miami
Molly: Miami
Gus: Miami
Sam: Miami

New England (4½) at Cleveland“Where are you going?” “Chicago.” “Chicago?” “Yeah, Chicago.” “You know you’re in St. Louis?” “Yes I do.” “Why don’t you try the airlines? It’s faster and you get a free meal.” “If I wanted a joke, I’d follow you into the john and watch you take a leak. Now are you gonna help me or are you gonna stand there like a slab of meat with mittens?” Ok… you probably knew this would be one where I picked the favorite. No need to elaborate.
Bob: New England
Terry: New England
Mike: New England
Mike Jr: New England
Molly: Cleveland
Gus: New England
Sam: Cleveland

New York (Giants) (7) at Seattle“You play with your balls a lot.” “I do not play with my balls.” “Larry Bird doesn’t do as much ball-handling in one night as you do in an hour!” “Are you trying to start a fight?” “No. I’m simply stating a fact. That’s all. You fidget with your nuts a lot.” “You know what’d make me happy?” “Another couple of balls, and an extra set of fingers?” Seattle is planning on starting the mascot from the University of Washington at quarterback this week. The Giants are in the middle of an annual run… where they win at least 5 straight. Three favorites.
Bob: New York
Terry: Seattle
Mike: New York
Mike Jr: New York
Molly: Seattle
Gus: Seattle
Sam: Seattle

Kansas City at Oakland (2½)“What’s the flight situation?” “Simple. There’s no way on earth we’re going to get out of here tonight. We’d have more luck playing pickup sticks with our butt-cheeks than we will getting a flight out of here before daybreak.” “I guess we’ll find out soon enough.” “Yeah, but by the time the airline cancels this flight, which they will sooner or later, you’d have more of a chance to find a three-legged ballerina than you would a hotel room.” “Are you saying I could be stuck in Wichita?” “I’m saying you are stuck in Wichita.” I’ve been watching Kansas City play everyone tough this year. In fact, their defense is playing exceptionally well. Oakland… well… it seems like alot of smoke, mirrors and emotion to me right now. Emotion is good… streaks can happen, and emotion can fuel them. But I’m still not a believer in the return of the Raiders.
Bob: Kansas City
Terry: Kansas City
Mike: Oakland
Mike Jr: Kansas City
Molly: Kansas City
Gus: Kansas City
Sam: Oakland

Indianapolis at Philadelphia (2½)“You know I had a feeling that when we parted ways we would somehow wind up back together again. I’ve never seen a guy get picked up by his testicles before. Lucky thing for you that cop passed by when he did.” Umm… hold on. The Eagles are switching quarterbacks again, while playing one of the better teams in the NFL, and they’re favored? Quick… can anyone tell me the last time the Colts were an underdog? (No fair just randomly saying “against New England” as a guess. Try giving me a date.) I suppose the edge goes to the home team, but I’ll take the underdog here without looking back.
Bob: Indianapolis
Terry: Philadelphia
Mike: Indianapolis
Mike Jr: Philadelphia
Molly: Indianapolis
Gus: Indianapolis
Sam: Philadelphia

Dallas at Green Bay (8)“What do you think the temperature is?” “One.” There’s a huge problem with this game when it comes to evaluating it. When you say that a team has quit, given up, and essentially gone home for the year… they have no pride… no one cares… well, it generally backfires at some point. Things are a mess in Dallas. No question about it. But are we ready to simply award the Packers a victory here? I think the Cowboys are going to score this week. I think they’ll be in the game until the end, with a chance to win it. I don’t think they will win it… but this is exactly the type of toe-stubbing game where the Green Bay teams of this season and last always seem to stub their toe.
Bob: Dallas
Terry: Dallas
Mike: Green Bay
Mike Jr: Green Bay
Molly: Dallas
Gus: Dallas
Sam: Green Bay

Pittsburgh (4½) at Cincinnati“You’re in a pretty lousy mood, huh?” “To say the least.” “You ever travel by bus before?” (Shakes head.) “Hmm. Your mood’s probably not going to improve much.” Last year, Cincinnati won both games. In 2008, the Steelers destroyed the Bungals twice. Welcome to 2010. There’s really nothing so far in the way the season has gone to tell you much about this game from Pittsburgh’s side of the story. The defense is good and should control Cincinnati without much of a problem. Any surprise there? No… of course not. But they’ve lost a couple of games and been close in a few others. We can’t count on five or six scores being delivered by Pittsburgh in this one. And if we’re assuming that the offense might not get rolling, we could be looking at a victory, with a 16-14 final score. In the end though. I haven’t heard anyone mention anything about Cincinnati and football this year. (That’s only a slight exaggeration.) I think we’ll cover this spread.
Bob: Pittsburgh
Terry: Cincinnati
Mike: Pittsburgh
Mike Jr: Cincinnati
Molly: Pittsburgh
Gus: Pittsburgh
Sam: Cincinnati

~ ~ ~ ~ ~

Bob: Last week 7-6, currently 57-53-7
Mike: Last week 9-4, currently 57-53-7
Molly: Last week 3-10, currently 56-54-7
Terry: Last week 3-10, currently 54-56-7
Gus: Last week 7-6, currently 51-59-7
Mike Jr: Last week 6-7, currently 45-51-7
Sam: Last week 4-9, currently 43-67-7

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