Not
much to share heading in to this week. Wrapping up vacation… barely
managed to add up last week’s results as I put the finishing touches
on this… and there are three dogs running around the house looking
for attention. So let’s get to it…
Molly
has separated a bit from the pack. Sure, it’s still early. But
in week 3, everyone turned in losing records… with Terry and Molly
at least controlling the damage a bit by reaching 7-8-1 marks.
That puts Molly 4 games clear of the pack as we enter the first
bye week.
We’ve
got one more from Bill Murray for this week’s quotes. What
about Bob? is the film.
New
York (Jets) (5) at Buffalo
– “You ever hear of Tourette’s syndrome?
Involuntarily shouting profanity?” “It’s exceptionally rare.”
“Sh*t-eating son-of-a-bitch! Bastard! Douche-bag! T**t! Numb-nuts!
D**khead! Bitch!” “Why exactly are you doing this?” “If I fake
it, then I don’t have it.” I get it. I do. The
Jets have defeated both of the big boys in the division, in turn
recovering nicely from a hideous opening night. Toss in the extra
considerations of solid defense against a weak offense and we
begin to see why these 5-points make perfect sense. There’s not
much to discuss. Take the Jets. The thing is… the Bills playing
the Jets tends be a different situation entirely. And you might
want to give a nod to Buffalo playing at home. I’m not saying
to do it. I’m not going to do it. I’m just saying you might want
to consider it. (And then bet on the Jets.)
Bob: New York
Terry: New York
Mike: New York
Mike Jr: New York
Molly: New York
Gus: Buffalo
Sam: Buffalo
Cincinnati
(3) at Cleveland
– “Are you married?” “I’m divorced.”
“Would you like to talk about that?” “There are two types of people
in this world: Those who like Neil Diamond, and those who don’t.
My ex-wife loves him.” “I see. So, what you're saying is that
even though you are an almost-paralyzed, multi-phobic personality
who is in a constant state of panic, your wife did not leave you,
you left her because she... liked Neil Diamond.”
Don’t go anti-Cleveland in this one too quickly. For as bad as
they’ve been on offense… they actually have fielded a decent defense.
If you want to say that Kansas City and Tampa Bay aren’t high-powered,
I agree. Those two clubs are 5-1 combined though… worth noting.
But give the Browns a chance in this one, and I think you’ll be
happily surprised.
Bob: Cleveland
Terry: Cleveland
Mike: Cincinnati
Mike Jr: Cleveland
Molly: Cincinnati
Gus: Cleveland
Sam: Cincinnati
Carolina
at New Orleans (13½)
– “Hi, I’m Bob. Would you knock
me out, please? Just hit me in the face.” Carolina
is awful… just awful. As much as the Saints have struggled to
be consistent on offense, they should win this one by two scores.
Bob: New Orleans
Terry: New Orleans
Mike: New Orleans
Mike Jr: New Orleans
Molly: New Orleans
Gus: New Orleans
Sam: New Orleans
Seattle
(1) at St. Louis
– “I want some peace and quiet!”
“I’ll be quiet.” “I'll be peace!” Who does Seattle
beat on the road? That’s right… St. Louis. And yet, that has been
diminishing returns in recent years. I think the Seahawks… based
on what I’ve seen… are capable of going worse than 0-8 in 8 road
games this season.
Bob: St. Louis
Terry: Seattle
Mike: St. Louis
Mike Jr: Seattle
Molly: St. Louis
Gus: St. Louis
Sam: Seattle
Denver
at Tennessee (6½)
– “Leo, I see salt and pepper. Is
there a salt substitute?” Last week Chris Johnson
had to work for his 120-plus… hitting 125 on 32 carries. So before
deciding that the Titans at home might be a loaded weapon and
easy choice, stop. Denver hasn’t been good, but they haven’t been
bad. Tough loss to Jacksonville on the road and a big loss to
Indianapolis. Can’t say those are exactly hideous blemishes just
yet. What I think we have here is more a true separation game…
two potential wildcard candidates (not great, but good enough
to get in that 9 or 10 win discussion) getting ready to face each
other. And I’m going to call it a close battle… with Denver capable
of winning, but definitely not losing big.
Bob: Denver
Terry: Denver
Mike: Denver
Mike Jr: Denver
Molly: Denver
Gus: Tennessee
Sam: Denver
Baltimore
at Pittsburgh (1½)
– “You think he’s gone? He’s not
gone. That’s the whole point! He’s never gone!” “Is this some
radical new therapy?” “You see?” The Steelers
4-0 heading into their bye week? Nope. As solid and strong as
they’ve looked, I’d hardly bring up the word dominant yet.
Bob: Baltimore
Terry: Baltimore
Mike: Pittsburgh
Mike Jr: Baltimore
Molly: Baltimore
Gus: Baltimore
Sam: Pittsburgh
Detroit
at Green Bay (14½)
– “Why are you always wearing black?
What is it with you and this death fixation?” “Maybe I’m in mourning
for my lost childhood.” Green Bay is still the
best club in their division. Big win this week.
Bob: Green Bay
Terry: Green Bay
Mike: Green Bay
Mike Jr: Detroit
Molly: Detroit
Gus: Green Bay
Sam: Green Bay
San
Francisco at Atlanta (6½)
– “I mean, my Dad just dropped me
in the water, without warning me first. I mean, I nearly drowned!
My whole life flashed before my eyes!” “Wow, you’re lucky you’re
only twelve.” “It was still grim.” When the phrase
“must win” gets brought up, you should always ask if the desperate
team is capable of winning. San Francisco is desperate… and yes,
capable of winning. The real difficulty is how horrendously… brutally…
inexplicably horrible they’ve been on the road. Beyond that… Frank
Gore is the leading rusher and receiver for yardage… and he has
more receiving yards for the year. (Yikes. Read that again. After
seeing that, do you really need to look deeply into stats to tell
the 49ers are in trouble?)
Bob: Atlanta
Terry: Atlanta
Mike: Atlanta
Mike Jr: Atlanta
Molly: Atlanta
Gus: San Francisco
Sam: Atlanta
Houston
(3½) at Oakland
– “If you want to be rid of him,
just tell him you won’t treat him anymore.” “Catherine, that’s
easy for you to say. The man is, is like, like human Krazy Glue!”
“You should never have let him sleep in your pajamas, Leo.”
I don’t want to go back and look… the Texans have been ok this
year… but memory tells me that in the past few games against Oakland,
they manage to tick me off. I pick them. They lose. Beautiful.
The trick is, the Raiders this year have done exactly what you
would predict… nothing. Ok. That’s not fair. But they’ve been
bad and inconsistent in weird and wonderful ways. They could win
this game outright, and I wouldn’t be stunned. They could lose
by double-digits, and I wouldn’t be surprised. And they could
hold the Texans to a couple of field goals. Whatever. But don’t
try to look over stats and make a prediction about this game.
Don’t get personally involved by convincing yourself you can see
what’s coming. Just pick a winner and move on.
Bob: Houston
Terry: Oakland
Mike: Houston
Mike Jr: Houston
Molly: Houston
Gus: Oakland
Sam: Houston
Indianapolis
(7½) at Jacksonville
– “…baby steps get on the bus… baby
steps down the aisle… baby steps…” Sure. I haven’t
decided about Jacksonville yet. Big win over Denver. Horrible
since. What I do know falls in to two subjects. Number one… after
losing to Houston, Indianapolis has looked like a machine. Number
two… after winning in week one, Jacksonville has been outscored
66-16. Read those two observations as many times as you need to.
Bob: Indianapolis
Terry: Jacksonville
Mike: Jacksonville
Mike Jr: Indianapolis
Molly: Jacksonville
Gus: Jacksonville
Sam: Jacksonville
Arizona
at San Diego (8)
– “You understand, don’t you? There’s
no other solution. You won’t go away.” “I will.” “No, you won’t.
You’re just saying you will! But then, after I don’t kill you,
you’ll show up again. And you’ll do something else to make everyone
in my life think you are wonderful and I’m a schmuck. But I’m
not a schmuck, Bob, and I’m not going to let you breeze into town
and take my family away from me, just because you’re crazy enough
to be fun.” Yup. The Cardinals are 2-1. Those
victories are against St. Louis and Oakland. They were demolished
by Atlanta. San Diego has kicked off the annual disappointment
tour in familiar fashion, with inexplicable losses, poor play,
and, frankly, mind-boggling stupidity. I’m basically just going
to assume that at home, with a real possibility that they could
have a losing record and be in last place in the division, the
Chargers will figure out a way to be inspired in to a good game.
And yeah… that’s about all I’ve got to say.
Bob: San Diego
Terry: San Diego
Mike: Arizona
Mike Jr: San Diego
Molly: San Diego
Gus: San Diego
Sam: San Diego
Washington
at Philadelphia (6)
– “What are we doing?” “Death Therapy,
Bob. It’s a guaranteed cure.” Something tells
me this game is going to be decided late… after lots of emotional
swings. The trick is, even is Washington starts fast, I don’t
expect them to finish strong.
Bob: Philadelphia
Terry: Philadelphia
Mike: Philadelphia
Mike Jr: Philadelphia
Molly: Philadelphia
Gus: Philadelphia
Sam: Washington
Chicago
at New York (Giants) (4)
– “I feel good, I feel great, I
feel wonderful... I feel good, I feel great, I feel wonderful...
I feel good, I feel great, I feel wonderful...”
Jay Cutler on the road. I’m still not convinced that should be
overlooked.
Bob: New York
Terry: New York
Mike: Chicago
Mike Jr: Chicago
Molly: Chicago
Gus: New York
Sam: Chicago
New
England (1) at Miami –
“The doctor draws two circles and
says ‘What do you see?’ The guy says ‘Sex.’ Wait a minute, I haven't
even told the joke yet! So the doctor draws trees. ‘What do you
see?’ The guy says ‘sex.’ The doctor draws a car, owl, ‘Sex, sex,
sex’ The doctor says to him. ‘You are obsessed with sex.’ He replies
‘Well you’re the one drawing all the dirty pictures!’”
Best game of the weekend. And I expect a really good one. After
watching New England lose outright to good teams (New Orleans)…
or take leads that they cough up in the second half against solid
opponents… I’m taking the Dolphins to win this one.
Bob: Miami
Terry: Miami
Mike: New England
Mike Jr: New England
Molly: Miami
Gus: Miami
Sam: Miami
~ ~
~ ~ ~
Molly:
Last week 7-8-1, currently 25-18-5
Terry: Last week 7-8-1, currently 21-22-5
Bob: Last week 5-10-1, currently 21-22-5
Mike Jr: Last week 6-9-1, currently 20-23-5
Sam: Last week 4-11-1, currently 19-24-5
Mike: Last week 6-9-1, currently 18-25-5
Gus: Last week 6-9-1, currently 18-25-5