The 2009 NFL Picks
Week four


Week four and the bye weeks begin… what the hell? Couldn’t they just give 8 teams a bye from weeks 7 thru 10? Closer to mid-season for everyone. A little more balance.

Oh well…

This week… another classic… History of the World: Part 1

Oakland at Houston (9½)“Occupation?” “Stand-up philosopher.” “What?” “Stand-up philosopher. I coalesce the vapors of human experience into a viable and meaningful comprehension.” “Oh. A bulls**t artist!” Repeat after me… never pick the Texans when they absolutely should win… never pick the Texans when they absolutely should win… actually… forget repeating it. This year the Texans lost to the Jets (when most everyone expected a Texans victory… and... to be fair, the Jets now look much stronger than predicted). Then they traveled to Tennessee for what everyone viewed as a must-win for a desperate Titan team, and Houston won. Last week, at home, they lost to Jacksonville. Honestly… pick them in impossible situations, but never go with them when you think it’s a lock. And they never seem to cover (and at times just flat out lose) when they play the Raiders. (Of course, New York was supposed to bad, turned out to be good. Tennessee was supposed to be good, turned out to be bad. And Oakland is bad. Is Houston doing what they should do? No... no... no thinking about it. Too big a spread... expectations.)
Bob: Oakland
Terry: Oakland
Mike: Houston
Dad: Houston
Molly: Oakland

Tennessee (3) at Jacksonville“Occupation?” “Gladiator.” “Did you kill last week?” “No.” “Did you try to kill last week?” “Yeah.” “Now, listen, this is your last week of unemployment insurance. Either you kill somebody next week or we're going to have to change your status, got it?” This quote is perfect. The Titans are in huge trouble… but frankly, the reality might be that they never were the team we gave them credit for being. If they can’t figure out how to defeat Jacksonville… a club not only on the verge of tossing in the towel on the season, but considered by many to be closing in on shutting down Florida operations and moving… then we need to take away gladiator status and toss them in with the also-rans.
Bob: Tennessee
Terry: Tennessee
Mike: Tennessee
Dad: Tennessee
Gus: Tennessee

Baltimore at New England (2)“He’s a eunuch.” “Mmm-hmm.” “He’s a eunuch.” “Mmm-hmm.” “He’s dead!” Wow is this a tough one. Honestly… right now… the Ravens are the better team. But with a 2-point spread, that’s not the question here. The question is who do I think will win the game. I can’t honestly say that I’m too impressed by any of the three Raven victories this year. Kansas City or Cleveland? Yeah… not much there. And I predicted the win over San Diego, expecting the Ravens to show up to play and the Chargers to lack focus. I absolutely do think Baltimore can win this game. But I also believe the Patriots can take Flacco and the passing game out of the picture. It’s their running attack that should concern them… and it’s that Raven running attack that will decide who wins. I’m guessing Brady can put up more points that Rice and McGahee.
Bob: New England
Terry: New England
Mike: New England
Dad: New England
Molly: Baltimore

Cincinnati (5½) at Cleveland“It is said that the people are revolting.” “You said it! They stink on ice!” Has anyone told the Browns that the season has started? They do know these games count… right? Last week’s late efforts from the Bungals impressed me. I don’t expect them to make the playoffs or anything… but with 2 wins on the record so far… a victory over Pittsburgh in the bank… and a schedule that still includes some hurdles… this is a game they absolutely must have if they intend to be taken seriously. So far the Browns have lost by 14 points or more in every contest, and in just 3 games are already being outscored by 66 points for the season.
Bob: Cincinnati
Terry: Cleveland
Mike: Cincinnati
Dad: Cincinnati
Gus: Cincinnati

New York (Giants) (8½) at Kansas City“Your Majesty, do you require a blindfold?” “None!” “Have you any last request?” “None!” “Test the guillotine!” “Holy s**t! Uh, wait! Wait! Last request! I have a last request!” I’d like to make some sort of case for the Chiefs in this one. Philly killed them last week though, and other than some surprises on the scoreboard when they lost by 10 to Baltimore to open the year, they haven’t done much. On the other side… the methodical Giants are good for 24-27 points at a minimum in this one, just shut down Tampa on the road in a model of efficiency, and come into this game and then leave it with a 5-0 start definitely possible before they have to travel to New Orleans. I expect no surprises here.
Bob: New York
Terry: New York
Mike: New York
Dad: New York
Molly: New York

Detroit at Chicago (10) “I asked ‘em nicely! I said pretty please! They wouldn’t convert, so I'll bang on their knees!” 10-points? Not only have the Bears failed to score more than 25-points in any game this year, they’ve actually cleared 20 points just once. This is hardly the offensive show the Cutler acquisition was supposed to bring along with it. The Lions played the Bears tough in Chicago last season, and the club has had some moments in every game so far this season. I honestly think we could have a second week of Lions wins… though I doubt it. More likely, those 10-points are just way too high.
Bob: Detroit
Terry: Detroit
Mike: Detroit
Dad: Chicago
Gus: Detroit

Tampa Bay at Washington (7)“Pardon! Pardon! Pardon!” “Yes?” “You are pissing on my shoe.” Once again people… is anyone paying attention to the Redskins before setting the lines? The Bucs got pasted last week, but managed to clear 20 points each week before that. Washington has scored every week… is 1-2 on the year, if you really want to give them credit for sneaking past St. Louis… and yet they have scored less points than Tampa. I like the Bucs in this one.
Bob: Tampa Bay
Terry: Tampa Bay
Mike: Washington
Dad: Tampa Bay
Molly: Tampa Bay

Seattle at Indianapolis (10½)“You don’t put out, he don’t get out.” “Your Majesty, I simply don’t do it.” “Come on, you do it. You love to do it. We all do it. You do it.” “No, I don’t!” After winning in week one, Seattle hasn’t looked too impressive. Ah… but consider the Colts. They arrive here off of wins against Miami and Arizona. I prefer Indy.
Bob: Indianapolis
Terry: Indianapolis
Mike: Indianapolis
Dad: Indianapolis
Gus: Seattle

New York (Jets) at New Orleans (7)“Execution, execution, execution, execution, execution… tough guy.” This is the week where Rex Ryan could win me over. If he manages to win this game… then no more excuses about bad days or overrating the opposition.
Bob: New Orleans
Terry: New York
Mike: New Orleans
Dad: New Orleans
Molly: New Orleans

Buffalo (2) at Miami “Knight jumps queen! Bishop jumps queen! Pawns jump queen!” Chad Pennington was the most valuable part of the Dolphin team. There is no way I can pick them here. None. Maybe in a few weeks, with some playing time for the backup or with another quarterback in the system. But not the first game after losing him.
Bob: Buffalo
Terry: Miami
Mike: Buffalo
Dad: Buffalo
Gus: Buffalo

St. Louis at San Francisco (9½)“You men go northwest! You men go southwest! I’m gonna walk around right here in a circle.” St. Louis? Pointless… lacking focus… no direction… easy pick.
Bob: San Francisco
Terry: St. Louis
Mike: San Francisco
Dad: San Francisco
Molly: San Francisco

Dallas (3) at Denver“Wait for the shake!” I expect the unexpected here. Sure… Denver isn’t as good as their record. But… that Cincy win is looking a bit better for them, and they are at home. On top of that, look… Dallas isn’t one of the best teams in the league. They’re not. They’re an average club, with above average talent, that can’t concentrate and would do well to hit 9 wins. So unless they manage to come in here and destroy the Broncos, don’t expect me to start offering them respect based on the history of the franchise instead of the reality of 2009.
Bob: Denver
Terry: Dallas
Mike: Denver
Dad: Dallas
Gus: Dallas

San Diego at Pittsburgh (6½)“It’s good to be the king.” Over the past few years, with very few exceptions, the Steelers crush teams at home. And here we have the defending champ, in what is essentially the most important game of their season, at home playing a team that I think has a problem realizing that what they see in the mirror isn’t what they’re offering on the field, and, has the worst head coach in the NFL. (Alert... Alert... Alert. Lock... of... the... week.)
Bob: Pittsburgh
Terry: San Diego
Mike: Pittsburgh
Dad: San Diego
Molly: Pittsburgh

Green Bay at Minnesota (3½)“Remember, thou art mortal! Remember, thou art mortal! Remember, thou art mortal! Remember, thou...” Someone should tell Favre this… ESPN certainly won’t… and, at home in this one, the Packers won’t either.
Bob: Minnesota
Terry: Green Bay
Mike: Minnesota
Dad: Minnesota
Gus: Green Bay

~ ~ ~ ~ ~

Bob – Last week 11-5, season 27-20-1
Dad – Last week 9-7, season 24-23-1
Mike – Last week 10-6, season 24-23-1
The Dogs – Last week 7-9, season 22-25-1
Terry – Last week 5-10-1, season 18-29-1

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