Week
four and the bye weeks begin… what the hell? Couldn’t they just
give 8 teams a bye from weeks 7 thru 10? Closer to mid-season
for everyone. A little more balance.
Oh
well…
This
week… another classic… History of the World: Part 1…
Oakland
at Houston (9½)
– “Occupation?” “Stand-up philosopher.”
“What?” “Stand-up philosopher. I coalesce the vapors of human
experience into a viable and meaningful comprehension.” “Oh. A
bulls**t artist!” Repeat after me… never pick
the Texans when they absolutely should win… never pick the Texans
when they absolutely should win… actually… forget repeating it.
This year the Texans lost to the Jets (when most everyone expected
a Texans victory… and... to be fair, the Jets now look much stronger
than predicted). Then they traveled to Tennessee for what everyone
viewed as a must-win for a desperate Titan team, and Houston won.
Last week, at home, they lost to Jacksonville. Honestly… pick
them in impossible situations, but never go with them when you
think it’s a lock. And they never seem to cover (and at times
just flat out lose) when they play the Raiders. (Of course, New
York was supposed to bad, turned out to be good. Tennessee was
supposed to be good, turned out to be bad. And Oakland is bad.
Is Houston doing what they should do? No... no... no thinking
about it. Too big a spread... expectations.)
Bob: Oakland
Terry: Oakland
Mike: Houston
Dad: Houston
Molly: Oakland
Tennessee
(3) at Jacksonville
– “Occupation?” “Gladiator.” “Did
you kill last week?” “No.” “Did you try to kill last week?” “Yeah.”
“Now, listen, this is your last week of unemployment insurance.
Either you kill somebody next week or we're going to have to change
your status, got it?” This quote is perfect. The
Titans are in huge trouble… but frankly, the reality might be
that they never were the team we gave them credit for being. If
they can’t figure out how to defeat Jacksonville… a club not only
on the verge of tossing in the towel on the season, but considered
by many to be closing in on shutting down Florida operations and
moving… then we need to take away gladiator status and toss them
in with the also-rans.
Bob: Tennessee
Terry: Tennessee
Mike: Tennessee
Dad: Tennessee
Gus: Tennessee
Baltimore
at New England (2)
– “He’s a eunuch.” “Mmm-hmm.” “He’s
a eunuch.” “Mmm-hmm.” “He’s dead!” Wow is this
a tough one. Honestly… right now… the Ravens are the better team.
But with a 2-point spread, that’s not the question here. The question
is who do I think will win the game. I can’t honestly say that
I’m too impressed by any of the three Raven victories this year.
Kansas City or Cleveland? Yeah… not much there. And I predicted
the win over San Diego, expecting the Ravens to show up to play
and the Chargers to lack focus. I absolutely do think Baltimore
can win this game. But I also believe the Patriots can take Flacco
and the passing game out of the picture. It’s their running attack
that should concern them… and it’s that Raven running attack that
will decide who wins. I’m guessing Brady can put up more points
that Rice and McGahee.
Bob: New England
Terry: New England
Mike: New England
Dad: New England
Molly: Baltimore
Cincinnati
(5½) at Cleveland
– “It is said that the people are
revolting.” “You said it! They stink on ice!”
Has anyone told the Browns that the season has started? They do
know these games count… right? Last week’s late efforts from the
Bungals impressed me. I don’t expect them to make the playoffs
or anything… but with 2 wins on the record so far… a victory over
Pittsburgh in the bank… and a schedule that still includes some
hurdles… this is a game they absolutely must have if they intend
to be taken seriously. So far the Browns have lost by 14 points
or more in every contest, and in just 3 games are already being
outscored by 66 points for the season.
Bob: Cincinnati
Terry: Cleveland
Mike: Cincinnati
Dad: Cincinnati
Gus: Cincinnati
New
York (Giants) (8½) at Kansas City
– “Your Majesty, do you require
a blindfold?” “None!” “Have you any last request?” “None!” “Test
the guillotine!” “Holy s**t! Uh, wait! Wait! Last request! I have
a last request!” I’d like to make some sort of
case for the Chiefs in this one. Philly killed them last week
though, and other than some surprises on the scoreboard when they
lost by 10 to Baltimore to open the year, they haven’t done much.
On the other side… the methodical Giants are good for 24-27 points
at a minimum in this one, just shut down Tampa on the road in
a model of efficiency, and come into this game and then leave
it with a 5-0 start definitely possible before they have to travel
to New Orleans. I expect no surprises here.
Bob: New York
Terry: New York
Mike: New York
Dad: New York
Molly: New York
Detroit
at Chicago (10) –
“I asked ‘em nicely! I said pretty
please! They wouldn’t convert, so I'll bang on their knees!”
10-points? Not only have the Bears failed to score more than 25-points
in any game this year, they’ve actually cleared 20 points just
once. This is hardly the offensive show the Cutler acquisition
was supposed to bring along with it. The Lions played the Bears
tough in Chicago last season, and the club has had some moments
in every game so far this season. I honestly think we could have
a second week of Lions wins… though I doubt it. More likely, those
10-points are just way too high.
Bob: Detroit
Terry: Detroit
Mike: Detroit
Dad: Chicago
Gus: Detroit
Tampa
Bay at Washington (7) – “Pardon!
Pardon! Pardon!” “Yes?” “You are pissing on my shoe.”
Once again people… is anyone paying attention to the Redskins
before setting the lines? The Bucs got pasted last week, but managed
to clear 20 points each week before that. Washington has scored
every week… is 1-2 on the year, if you really want to give them
credit for sneaking past St. Louis… and yet they have scored less
points than Tampa. I like the Bucs in this one.
Bob: Tampa Bay
Terry: Tampa Bay
Mike: Washington
Dad: Tampa Bay
Molly: Tampa Bay
Seattle
at Indianapolis (10½)
– “You don’t put out, he don’t get
out.” “Your Majesty, I simply don’t do it.” “Come on, you do it.
You love to do it. We all do it. You do it.” “No, I don’t!”
After winning in week one, Seattle hasn’t looked too impressive.
Ah… but consider the Colts. They arrive here off of wins against
Miami and Arizona. I prefer Indy.
Bob: Indianapolis
Terry: Indianapolis
Mike: Indianapolis
Dad: Indianapolis
Gus: Seattle
New
York (Jets) at New Orleans (7)
– “Execution, execution, execution,
execution, execution… tough guy.” This is the
week where Rex Ryan could win me over. If he manages to win this
game… then no more excuses about bad days or overrating the opposition.
Bob: New Orleans
Terry: New York
Mike: New Orleans
Dad: New Orleans
Molly: New Orleans
Buffalo
(2) at Miami –
“Knight jumps queen! Bishop jumps
queen! Pawns jump queen!” Chad Pennington was
the most valuable part of the Dolphin team. There is no way I
can pick them here. None. Maybe in a few weeks, with some playing
time for the backup or with another quarterback in the system.
But not the first game after losing him.
Bob: Buffalo
Terry: Miami
Mike: Buffalo
Dad: Buffalo
Gus: Buffalo
St.
Louis at San Francisco (9½)
– “You men go northwest! You men
go southwest! I’m gonna walk around right here in a circle.”
St. Louis? Pointless… lacking focus… no direction… easy pick.
Bob: San Francisco
Terry: St. Louis
Mike: San Francisco
Dad: San Francisco
Molly: San Francisco
Dallas
(3) at Denver
– “Wait for the shake!”
I expect the unexpected here. Sure… Denver isn’t as good as their
record. But… that Cincy win is looking a bit better for them,
and they are at home. On top of that, look… Dallas isn’t one of
the best teams in the league. They’re not. They’re an average
club, with above average talent, that can’t concentrate and would
do well to hit 9 wins. So unless they manage to come in here and
destroy the Broncos, don’t expect me to start offering them respect
based on the history of the franchise instead of the reality of
2009.
Bob: Denver
Terry: Dallas
Mike: Denver
Dad: Dallas
Gus: Dallas
San
Diego at Pittsburgh (6½)
– “It’s good to be the king.”
Over the past few years, with very few exceptions, the Steelers
crush teams at home. And here we have the defending champ, in
what is essentially the most important game of their season, at
home playing a team that I think has a problem realizing that
what they see in the mirror isn’t what they’re offering on the
field, and, has the worst head coach in the NFL. (Alert... Alert...
Alert. Lock... of... the... week.)
Bob: Pittsburgh
Terry: San Diego
Mike: Pittsburgh
Dad: San Diego
Molly: Pittsburgh
Green
Bay at Minnesota (3½) – “Remember,
thou art mortal! Remember, thou art mortal! Remember, thou art
mortal! Remember, thou...” Someone should tell
Favre this… ESPN certainly won’t… and, at home in this one, the
Packers won’t either.
Bob: Minnesota
Terry: Green Bay
Mike: Minnesota
Dad: Minnesota
Gus: Green Bay
~ ~
~ ~ ~
Bob
– Last week 11-5, season 27-20-1
Dad – Last week 9-7, season 24-23-1
Mike – Last week 10-6, season 24-23-1
The Dogs – Last week 7-9, season 22-25-1
Terry – Last week 5-10-1, season 18-29-1