General
Interest |
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July
7, 2019 |
|
More
often than not, the shift isn’t that incredible if you
consider the first and final versions of the message.
Something that began as having a picnic on a nearby
hill finishes as an observation that it’s a great day
to eat outside… a thought about how brilliantly blue
the sky appears to be morphs into how bright and hot
the sun is that afternoon.
|
|
July
7, 2019 |
|
The
first wave of surprise was caused by three squirrels.
A tree on one side of the house had branches the reached
out and ended within a few inches of the roof. Actually,
more specifically, it had one branch that was literally
two inches away from the vent for the attic. (Use your
imagination, and you still won’t be close to the amazing
chaos caused by trying to evict those three unexpected
residents after they moved in.)
|
|
July
7, 2019 |
|
It’s
possible that you’re wondering about a thousand a month
for a house, when living alone you think you can find
an apartment for less. (Perhaps even a furnished apartment
with utilities included.) And, since you’ve had your
car for ten years, it’s been a long time since you needed
to worry about a car payment. That’s got to be swapped
out for a different figure. First two items and you
figure you could already save some significant dollars.
On
the other side, a hundred for utilities? Just the oil
and electricity are adding up to way above that each
month.
Either
way though—too high or too low—my numbers, according
to you, have quickly and decisively demonstrated that
while possible, they aren’t grounded in reality. And
to that I say… exactly.
|
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July
7, 2019 |
|
Have
you ever gone on some sort of quest while surfing the
web? Say shopping. You visit some search engines or
specific sites, check out a pair of shoes or a television
or some food item or whatever. Then every ad in every
corner on every page you visit from that search on asks
you if you want to buy some sneakers, a model with 4K
and smart connectivity, or a multipack of cornbread.
It’s
obvious someone is watching you. Someone is collecting
information. Someone is funneling details and reflecting
it back your way.
|
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May
5, 2019 |
|
We
always end up with far more tomatoes that we can ever
use. (Please don’t write to me with suggestions of sharing
with neighbors or ways of prepping vegetables to freeze
for later use. I appreciate the thoughts. I really do.
We already have basket exchange programs of sorts set
up with our neighbors though, and our freezer is packed
with bags of vegetables still remaining from last year’s
harvest.) My running joke for each garden is that we
could place no tomatoes and somehow seeds remaining
from last year will take hold and provide us with plants
that overtake a section.
|
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May
5, 2019 |
|
There’s
a chance I’m a bit off track on this one. Someone has
to be enjoying Peeps. Someone must like them. (And yes,
even I looked twice when chocolate became involved in
the process. Chocolate coatings and chocolate mousse
and… hold on… does that label say chocolate caramel
swirl Peeps? I think it does. I’m not sure if I’m having
second thoughts about Peeps or if evidence is building
that Peeps are creeping up the list on historical worldwide
culinary horrors.)
|
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April
22, 2019 |
|
In
fact, conduct a survey and offer: Name the appliance
in your kitchen that cooks things. I’d bet more people
will use the word dishwasher than will use the word
range. (And yes, not a typo, they’ll say dishwasher
while doing something silly like wrapping a piece of
fish and some lemon in aluminum foil to try out a crazy
idea they heard.)
|
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April
22, 2019 |
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Farfetched
example? Ok. You’re watching any show, and suddenly
the image on screen is a person wearing sunglasses with
one lens broken, a three-quarter length tank top, speedo-style
or bikini bottom, a sneaker on one foot and a sock on
the other, holding a large duck.
Does
it make perfect sense? No. Are you going to be happy
but how it plays out while you continue watching? Maybe.
But there is definite anticipation for what is about
to happen next.
|
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April
14, 2019 |
|
The
point is, even if you are only living a few hundred
feet apart, there can be significant differences that
create scenarios where comparisons are not even remotely
apple-to-apple situations. Extend the idea to different
states and the possibilities increase. Go beyond national
borders and we may not even be looking at apples-to-oranges
being a fair summary of what’s at hand.
|
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April
14, 2019 |
|
Do
we need to go on with the planning of this operation
from this point? And if so, sound the alarm because
we have idiots in motion. Really. One report I saw outlined
that as an action shot to accompany the athletic scholarship
application, a picture of an applicant on one of those
home-gym rowing machines was used. And if that’s accurate,
then… well… wow.
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April
9, 2019 |
|
I
am not disappointed or upset that so many offer financial
advice. And, I am not upset when those advice-givers
tend to wade into obvious waters for the advice. Actually,
hearing how to determine needs for retirement or methods
for diversifying investments can be good stuff. Plus,
an alarmingly large number of people do indeed lack
any awareness of personal situations and spend beyond
their limits.
|
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April
6, 2019 |
|
Those
low-cost replacement hold-on-until-the-delivery grates
are now headed into their fourth summer of service,
and show absolutely no signs of needing to be pulled
from use. In fact, I really like them. To the point
that I’m kind of ticked that there weren’t more when
I picked these up. (In my retrospect thought process,
I tend to ignore the idea that I only needed three for
our grill and likely wouldn’t have purchased more if
there were more to purchase.)
|
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April
6, 2019 |
|
You
know those moments where people get tossed in the car,
and they’ve been blindfolded or such so they can’t see
where they’re going? There are literally moments now
where I wonder if the blindfold is even necessary. Because
in many cases, I do believe that if the person doesn’t
know the address or business name or whatever to enter
into the app, there is a really good chance they would
never be able to find that spot again anyway.
|
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March
31, 2019 |
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(I
heard that. I heard what you’re thinking. And you’re
right. I’d blame it on the stupidity of youth, but honestly,
it’s even worse than that. All I can offer in my defense
is that I began this essay by telling you, right out
of the gate, that no one would ever mistake any decision
or choice or effort I make as fashionable. Had a sweatshirt.
It was usually cold. Liked to be warm. Wanted a turtleneck.
Not a massive research project going on here. Oh… and,
yeah… I found one…)
|
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March
31, 2019 |
|
Over
the years, at a few places where I’ve lived, I’ve seen
signs around the community of wear and tear and so on.
Trees falling down (or snapping in a storm). Stone walls
collapsing. Chipmunks moving in. Occasionally I was
out making repairs in my own yard. At times I helped
out on a project for someone else. And other times things
moved along without any input from me.
|
|
March
27, 2019 |
|
Easy
people… it’s a trunk open while backing up in a driveway,
not sending an 8-year-old down a ramp on bicycle without
a helmet. What it did mean was that the camera wasn’t
in the normal positioning, lining things up when the
car was in reverse. It was instead about 90 to 110-degrees
higher, showing the top edge of our car and then up
and off into the sky. (Cue passing geese.)
|
|
March
27, 2019 |
|
There
are certain sounds that I notice, even in a notice-but-not-really
way. Take geese. I hear them, honking away. But on many
days, I know I heard them honking, but it never registered
when I heard it. Walked the driveway, grabbed the mail,
heard the honking while flipping through some envelopes
and catalogues to see if anything good arrived, got
to the house and closed the door, then for whatever
reason realized that fifteen seconds or so earlier I
heard some geese.
|
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March
26, 2019 |
|
It
was around noon, and I had been dispatched to pick up
lunch for the group. A local specialty… hot weiners.
Some fries. (Wein-O-Rama, people. Get to Wein-O-Rama.
Can’t add anything else to that recommendation.)
While
I was away, some preparations were slowly beginning
to take shape. Plates. Napkins. All of us have seen
the drill. One person went for the food, the others
kind of converse and such, while in no particular rush
also grab some silverware and beverages and such.
|
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March
26, 2019 |
|
There’s
a show from Australia called Rosehaven. I like
it. Terry likes it. The third season began its run in
January of 2019. In the United States, Sundance got
its distribution rights and we jumped on when season
one began showing. I have zero idea how it performed,
but the scheduling of it got moved around a bit, and
it felt like the way Sundance treated it shifted significantly
between season one and two. We had concerns about whether
or not they would show season 3 (and so far, to my knowledge,
they haven’t). Terry and I have been busy with a few
other things, but we both believe that once we do look
for it again, we’ll find it. Sundance or not, we’ll
find it.
|
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March
17, 2019 |
|
It
turned out that this Monopoly thing was an annual event
for the store. The next year, spring arrived, and the
promotion began again. And I started heading there as
my primary store, because I wanted to collect my game
pieces at the register and play.
What
was a hassle.
|
|
March
16, 2019 |
|
With
that established, here’s the theory: I often find that
those that make the biggest splashes in new areas are
not actually the ones that did the first work in that
area.
The
theory isn’t perfect, and it’s certainly not exact,
and it probably should be referred to as a concept instead
of a theory. Whatever. I ask you… all of you that have,
or had, or at least know of DirecTV and Dish Network…
what is PrimeStar?
|
|
March
14, 2019 |
|
When
you live in the northeast United States, it snows. But,
you knew that. What you might not have known is that
in upstate regions of some states—Maine, New Hampshire,
Vermont and New York as examples—it basically snows
all the time in winter months. As in, All
the time.
Snow is
a fairly simple equation. Precipitation + cold temperatures
= snow. See? Simple. (Yes, yes, please hold back on
e-mails of the more complex descriptions and scenarios.
It’s raining and below freezing, we get snow. Let’s
leave it clean and basic. (Kind of.))
|
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March
10, 2019 |
|
And
it’s not the number of stories about daylight savings,
or the slight variation of a daylight savings theme,
that creates the laughter on my end. It’s that the stories
are exactly the same as the ones we read roughly six
months ago. And roughly six months before that. And…
repeat. Year after year, twice per year, slightly adjusted
based only on whether the change is a spring forward
or a fall back move.
|
|
March
10, 2019 |
|
Yup.
Years of forgotten ideas—some most definitely great
ideas—have taught me to do what I can to make a note
of some type if I can’t get started on any kind of actual
writing. In other words, if I can’t sit down and actually
start an essay, do whatever it takes to jot down the
concept along with a few notes to jog my memory about
where I was headed.
|
|
March
10, 2019 |
|
As
I begin this essay, I should point out that my wife
probably knows four hundred and seventy-three different
words (likely several hundred others in something like
five languages) to express the thought: “Idiot.”
It’s
true.
And
accurate. I am one.
|
|
March
10, 2019 |
|
When
I see news like this, the people-in-the-tiger-pit stories
(so to speak), one of my first thoughts is about the
barriers in place. Was there something that said “don’t
go here” and perhaps even a bit more? Was there something
making an attempt at preventing a person from going
there?
After
all, it’s one thing to know what you are about to do
is a bad idea. But as I have said (and heard said) so
many times over the years: Common sense ain’t that common.
What makes it a slightly different level of stupid thing
is being told what you are about to do is a bad idea.
|
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March
6, 2019 |
|
For
some amazing and physics-defying reason, if I ignore
the bottle and never ever let even the briefest moments
of doubt enter my mind, just depress the pump and use
it each day, the contents appear to be limitless. I
feel like years have passed with the same bottle in
place. And while that’s absolutely not the case, it
is always there long enough that I can never recall
how long that particular bottle has been around.
|
|
March
3, 2019 |
|
Two
feet away from me… right now, as I type this, two feet…
is the cake topper from my wedding day. It’s a special
piece… a unique piece… a one-of-a-kind piece that Terry
designed and created for us. Only one in existence.
There
are a few things like that in our office. Assembled
and collected and so on over the years. Photographs.
Souvenirs. Mementos that include items purchased and
items used and items that for whatever reason have special
meaning for me, for Terry, for both of us. And most
of them could never be replaced, especially since we
have these as the originals to match with why we value
them.
|
|
March
3, 2019 |
|
The
main reasons involve the sunrise. Because our driveway
faces south…and ever so slightly east… the morning sun
hits the windshields when they are pointed that way.
Seemingly beyond count, when I’ve been inside not giving
a single thought to whether or not I should be warming
up or cleaning off a car, that morning sun has bailed
me out by melting away some frost before I stepped outside
ready to leave.
|
|
February
28, 2019 |
|
One
night several months ago it was time to put the trash
out for the next morning’s collection. It was windy.
In fact, no, it was WINDY.
And the next morning, I woke up, checked the driveway,
and the container for recyclables was gone.
Gone.
Completely
gone.
No
sign of the container. No sign of any of the milk bottles
or cardboard that was inside.
|
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February
24, 2019 |
|
I’ve
had days where I’ve wandered up and down and up and
down aisles. I’ve checked top shelves and endcaps. I’ve
turned five-minute errands into thirty-minute adventures,
breaking down emotionally when once again… despite my
best intentions and efforts… I found myself arriving
at the rows of dog food and paper products and laundry
detergents that indicated I was crossing out of the
regular items and into the frozen foods and I hadn’t
found what I was looking for.
|
|
February
24, 2019 |
|
This
morning I set off on a list of things I needed to get
accomplished. I had written the list myself, but made
the mistake of letting my wife know of its existence.
This was accomplished in the simplest of stupid moves,
something like my saying: “Hey, I’m headed to the store
today so I can get a few things and fix that electrical
outlet. I’m thinking I’ll also grab some stuff to cook
on the grill for dinner while I’m out. Do you need anything?”
Turned
out, there were a few additional errands to run. After
the first three suggestions from her, I grabbed a pen
and began taking notes.
|
|
February
19, 2019 |
|
Getting
the damn time to stop blinking. This is actually a joke,
but it offers a window into a significantly bigger problem.
Most of us had absolutely zero understanding of what
was happening when we placed a VCR into our home entertainment
setup. It meant more wires in the scrambled and tangled
pile stacked up and hidden behind a massive wooden cabinet.
It also meant trying to figure out if the right channel
was selected on the right device in order to get the
right piece of equipment to do whatever it was that
we wanted it to do.
|
|
February
16, 2019 |
|
First
and foremost, those boxes don’t do anyone any favors.
A Big Mac or a Whopper or insert-trademarked-name-here
gets made, placed in a container and put in a bag. Person
jostles it even more while walking to the car and unpacking
it. Hardly difficult to figure out why the lettuce and
burger and bun are strewn about in a mess that needs
to be restacked.
|
|
February
16, 2019 |
|
Well,
no, I don’t want to take that quiz. As we’ve discussed,
I don’t have an old couch. So, (1) no quiz is going
to be able determine if it’s time for a replacement
for something we don’t have, plus, (2) we kind of like
the house set up the way it is and I doubt if any part
of the quiz will have us debating our design choices.
Remember
the new mattress idea? That would be a different story.
There are things we are considering replacing. A mattress…
stove… fridge… even a car. And it got me wondering about
when it’s time to replace things.
|
|
February
12, 2019 |
|
Here
is where I point out that it cost far less to purchase
the entire kit than it did to purchase the single three-foot
piece of molding. In fact, A LOT less. As in,
I would get twice the amount of the style I did need…
providing some spare materials in case of another accident
later, plus that other piece I didn’t need… and save
about five dollars.
Yeah,
I bought the kit.
|
|
February
12, 2019 |
|
What
I mean by that is more than specifics about numbers.
It’s a general recognition of situations. Very rarely—and
that should probably read VERY
rarely—are any of us presented with complete stories.
In a scenario using numbers, people twist them like
balloon animals and carefully present them from selected
angles to create your sightline of their opinions. Two
plus two is almost never simply four. In addition, people
tend to research things until long enough to gather
materials that prove their opinion correct. Then, full
stop.
|
|
January
29, 2019 |
|
The
cars have gas. Snowblower is ready to go. I’ve been
to the store, not to give in to the chaotic storm warning
rush for emergency essentials, but rather just to bring
home a few things so I don’t need to go out tomorrow
or Thursday for anything if I don’t want to go out.
The vehicles in the driveway were positioned for the
best cleanup approach hours ago.
|
|
January
29, 2019 |
|
For
instance… Oreos.
Tigg
likes Double Stuf. I prefer the classic original. (My
favorite part is the chocolate cookies.)
When
it comes to our purchases of Oreos, we compromise. We
buy Double Stuf.
|
|
January
29, 2019 |
|
Now
chances are that what was said in the commercial is
not what this flower company actually means. There is
absolutely every possibility that the message they are
trying to send is that they care, and that they’re not
looking to mass produce things and ship some inferior
product. The message is, quite likely and in all I-won’t-name-them
fairness, that they are picking these flowers at exactly
the right moment so that they are the very best they
can be when sent my way for what will be the longest
possible enjoyment.
|
|
January
28, 2019 |
|
We’ve
arrived in a dangerous place, if we’re being honest.
A place where fact and fiction often overlap, pushed
on by personal beliefs and desires. Often, simply because
we want something to be true, we accept word of something’s
existence without an actual reason to support its existence.
And we navigate in the direction of reports that deny
things we want to believe are false. It’s not fake news,
it’s comfort news, taking in material that supports
what we want to believe.
|
|
January
28, 2019 |
|
Man
in a suit seems to be having a rough go of it at home.
Walking with a burger from a nearby fast food place
in his hand, finishing his lunch and then tossing the
wrapper into a can just before pulling open the door
on a flower shop. Came out with what appeared to be
two dozen roses. Sure seems like the far side of some
type of trouble in progress, given his lack of a smile
and apparent rush through a meal in order to gather
this item.
|
|
January
28, 2019 |
|
Funny
thing about that ladder. We didn’t know it existed when
we first moved into that house. Really. It was on the
wall of the garage, hung in a weird fashion off in a
rarely visited corner as we made that move, and the
aging of its wood blended with the framing of the garage.
It was several months before I was organizing stuff
and hanging some things up in that particular area that
I suddenly realized there was a wooden ladder there.
|
|
January
26, 2019 |
|
A
few days ago, I was driving along a fairly main road.
Ahead of me, two people were out clearing a driveway,
with one of them using a snowblower. I was easily close
enough to be within sight, and far enough away for them
to adjust, when they began pouring snow out into the
road. As I passed, forced to move in a certain way by
oncoming traffic, it covered my windshield. And the
crap hitting the road would be there for other drivers
coming along, creating a slick and icy patch on otherwise
dry pavement.
|
|
January
25, 2019 |
|
A
GPS unit? A unit? A mounted in the dashboard… or funnier
still one you plug into the cigarette lighter… GPS unit?
Of course you’re waiting for that to acquire
a satellite signal. Of course you’re waiting
for it to recalculate every time you change lanes on
the highway or make a turn (even a turn it told you
to make).
|
|
January
25, 2019 |
|
Roughly
thirty years ago, I bought my first car. I have vivid
memories of stopping at the bank more often after the
purchase. I’d be there to get twenty-dollars out of
my checking account to pay for gas.
Usually
I bring that story up to talk about the costs of the
world. Because I would fill the tank of the car and
then still have enough change from that twenty to grab
a grinder at a local pizza shop or cover a single movie
ticket. It was a glorious time. (Not the single movie
ticket part. That was sad. But the car was pretty great.)
More
to the point of this essay however, the story covers
a different aspect of the world. I had to make the withdrawal.
No gas stations accepted debit cards at the time.
|
|
January
23, 2019 |
|
After
naming your source of the beef portion of the recipe,
I would argue that the most commonly cited items would
be water, onions, celery, black pepper and salt. A few
people might venture into areas such as carrots and
other assorted veggies or spices. But the big thing
is, I think common items would end up being listed.
And that’s it. I seriously doubt if fresh ginger or
cinnamon sticks would get a single mention.
|
|
January
23, 2019 |
|
I
have a problem with a hindsight approach to correcting
art. Cartoons… books… movies… and the ideas of editing
them, rewriting them, colorizing them, and in so many
ways adjusting the presentation. To me, it does not
automatically translate that today’s society should
produce a different result from yesterday’s work. You
could make a case that it walks into the area of censorship.
It definitely compromises artistic design. And I do
believe there is a value in viewing past creations as
produced and presented, allowing context to also show
when there are problems and issues.
|
|
January
23, 2019 |
|
Have
you heard of the program Law & Order? Well,
that’s a silly question. Is there any way you haven't
heard of it? After all, it’s on just about every night
covering two or three dozen networks. There are three
versions of the show on television right now… Law
& Order, Law & Order: Special Victims
Unit and Law & Order: Criminal Intent.
About a week ago or so I was reading this article about
actor Jerry Orbach. It appeared in several places, with
the basic headline for each column insinuating that
Orbach will likely leave Law & Order following
this season, after twelve years with the show. What
you had to keep reading to find out, all the way near
the end of just about any article I saw, was that Orbach
was going to leave Law & Order to work
on… Law & Order. Or, more specifically,
the fourth installment of the program, currently being
called Law & Order: Trial by Jury.
|
From
the Backpack ~ Originally posted April 8, 2004 |
|
January
21, 2019 |
|
When
it comes to dealing with shoveling and clearing snow,
light and fluffy seems like an obvious choice. But have
you ever tried to use a snowblower on light and fluffy
snow when the wind begins to pick up? Basically, the
snow heads up the chute, hits the air, and explodes.
* POOF * The fluffy snow at
times will carry with the wind, but usually it just
blows up into a massive cloud and scatters. It hits
you in the face, gets into any open areas of clothing,
and more often than not the majority of it settles right
back on the driveway. (And if you are trying to send
it against the wind, just give up and head back inside
until the wind dies down.)
|
|
January
20, 2019 |
|
The
wine arrived on a day we were working. It was a Tuesday.
By the time we got home from work that day and found
the notice, the office for the delivery company was
closed and we couldn’t speak with anyone or leave a
message to make other arrangements with them. This meant
a truck would go back out on Wednesday with the wine
on board, we would again be at work, and attempt number
two would be made and fail when no one was home. The
carrier was slated to make three attempts before shipping
the package back to the vineyard.
|
|
January
20, 2019 |
|
I
can’t honestly say that I have any really solid reason
for why I believe this is the way it should move along.
There is no rule book that I’ve seen, and I’ve never
exchanged the thought with anyone I’ve played against.
Instead, it’s just been handled more as polite housekeeping.
Put simply, my words: “Things finished on my watch,
and I’d like to keep it going. Shall we play again?”
|
|
January
18, 2019 |
|
First
and foremost, I want to tip my hat to everyone working
to deliver weather forecasts for television stations,
especially to those doing so on a local level. You folks
are amazing, and don’t deserve any of the crap you are
subjected to hearing.
Right
now, Rhode Island is set up for about six to eight inches
from this storm. Move barely twenty miles north and
the forecast changes to eleven to twelve inches. Forty
miles and it reaches fourteen to sixteen.
Do
you know where the bulk of the weather that will form
this storm is located right now? It’s west of Chicago.
|
|
January
18, 2019 |
|
Yes,
yes, it’s supposed to be delivered in the middle of
a snowstorm. That isn’t too exciting, or upsetting.
I’m not looking forward to fetching it out of a snowdrift
if the arrival of the box and the falling snow begin
moving in opposite directions and overlap. But that’s
a small part of it. The timing of weather and package
arrivals aren’t always intertwined. I do hope the package
doesn’t get placed in a snow drift. I hope it doesn’t
sit there for a while. And, it is that sitting in the
snow that begins my frustrations (and the twist for
this essay)…
|
|
January
17, 2019 |
|
The
misty haze of all this is the stories. A Town Pizza
location in Rhode Island is almost certainly not the
same as a Town Pizza in Michigan. Same idea for any
of your Village Pizza locations or Johnny’s Pizza locations.
These are not national chains. These are family owned
businesses. These are places heavily staffed by kids
working their first or second jobs, if not just sons
and daughters of ownership.
|
|
January
16, 2019 |
|
So
here we are, with an article that is beefing up the
argument that (my words): “Hey, more youngsters are
recognizing the eye-roll and poop emojis than this warning
light on their dashboard.” That’s the big thing. We’re
supposed to be drawn into the article by such a claim,
and the drive of the article is how shocking it is that
millennials know more about emojis than the dashboard
of the car they’re driving.
|
|
January
16, 2019 |
|
Instead…
consider… around me the high temperature four days from
now is forecast to be zero. That’s zero Fahrenheit.
32-degrees below freezing. The high temperature for
the day. A reading not adjusted for wind or feels-like
or whatever it’s-even-worse-than-that measuring stick
you might want to apply. Zero, with negative numbers
for the low of the day.
|
|
January
15, 2019 |
|
From
customer relations materials, there comes this point
where people are taught that remembering names is a
way of expressing value. It conveys the message that
the customer is important to you. And in the case of
mail, adding in those extra words as a disclaimer of
sorts misses the mark.
|
|
January
15, 2019 |
|
Take
a Twinkie, keep it wrapped, and place it on the railing
of the stairs to your house. Come back in one hundred
years. Stairs might be destroyed. The house might be
gone. But somewhere in the area will be that Twinkie…
safely wrapped and fresh as the day it was baked.
|
|
January
14, 2019 |
|
For
us, most of the procedure involves stuff that we aren’t
really concerned about. We don’t use the scheduling
and advanced options of the system. It controls not
only the heat but also the air conditioning, so we manually
turn the system off and on throughout the year as needed
while adjusting the temperature based on the old fashioned
and slightly out of style way we’re feeling. (For instance:
“I’m cold. Are you cold? Let’s turn the heat up a bit.”)
|
|
January
14, 2019 |
|
On
a great summer evening, you can cook dinner and start
a fire. Make some s’mores, grab a drink, and relax as
the light fades and fireflies appear. Then, as the fires
dies and embers cool, lean back and enjoy the arrival
of constellations and shooting stars. That right there
is a spectacular way to invest a few hours with family
and friends.
|
|
January
14, 2019 |
|
Yes…
fine… expand the line. While I may not be a fan of almost
any of the various Oreo experiments, as long as the
classic and Double Stuf are available, I’m good. (Well…
classic when I’m looking for them. Double Stuf for Terry.
But yes, when Terry’s happy, that matters to me.) Put
those two styles on the shelves, don’t mess with them,
and they can make all of the cherry peanut butter cola
apple pie limited runs that they wish.
|
|
January
13, 2019 |
|
Weird
part is that for most of November and December, we were
treated to fluctuating temperatures and a fair amount
of rain. And that means even with the bitter chills
hitting right now, the ground isn’t exactly frozen solid
just yet. Soft in some spots. And for those that know,
there really isn’t anything like shoveling snow in the
mud. (And yes, that’s a thing.)
|
|
January
13, 2019 |
|
For
some amazing reason, this claw machine has the most
amazingly annoying theme music playing. Hard to explain,
but if you drove an ice cream truck through the side
of a circus tent into a calliope, recorded the resulting
collision of sound and somehow set it in a loop… yeah.
Clowns in a zoo playing with a bagpipe and keyboard,
that would be close.
|
|
January
11, 2019 |
|
The
letter wants to me act quickly, act now… no, act yesterday…
because my vehicle is no longer covered for service,
Warranty is done. I’m on the hook for repair costs.
But
the letter doesn’t tell me what kind of vehicle is involved.
Just says it’s my current vehicle. Plenty of get moving
and call this number moments on the form, with fonts
italicized and words in bold and even red letters. They
even tell me multiple times that my status is “Approved”
– which sounds pretty official and legitimate to me.
|
|
January
11, 2019 |
|
The
recent holidays had me visiting with my mother. As I
think I may have shared before, her kitchen is a marvel.
It’s just the two of them in that house, Mom and Dad,
and yet somehow just in with the baking products you
can find multiple types of chocolate chips, any kind
of flour you might imagine, a wide variety of nuts,
and so on. (And, it’s probably obvious, you’ll find
cream of tartar. Seriously, does anyone else have a
minimum of three types of flour regularly within arm’s
reach?)
|
|
January
11, 2019 |
|
Has
anyone else noticed the price of greeting cards lately?
I mean, really? It feels like I could buy a meal for
a family of six for the price of a single birthday card.
(That’s before I have to figure out the postage it needs,
and if I’m sending a large card internationally we could
all super-size our meals, and… and… ok, fine… a slight
exaggeration.)
|
|
January
6, 2019 |
|
Every
so often, our shopping-sense alarm goes off. My guess
is that we aren’t alone. Not specifically because of
the cost of a particular brand of potato chips. And
not because other brands in the same aisle are on sale
for a third of the cost. Instead it’s when something
immediately and convincingly seems wrong, and there
doesn’t appear to be any way to reconcile the information
despite what you do know (and possibly do not).
|
|
November
20, 2018 |
|
For
the past few years, Terry and I have been treated to
their presence more than ever. (Treated is a funny word
in this case. Most people with any type of real experience
around them will tell you two things: geese poop everywhere
and they are mean.) Still, that flying-v overhead, especially
when the numbers get larger, can be an attention-grabbing
thing.
|
|
November
16, 2018 |
|
I
don’t want to make too much out of it, but I wasn’t
overwhelmed. Should be right in my favorites zone… caramel,
nuts, chocolate… everything seems there. And I recall
thinking it was ok. But that was about it. It was ok.
Definitely not a Milky Way or Reese’s Peanut Butter
Cup. (But, hey, what is?) Definitely not a new favorite.
|
|
November
16, 2018 |
|
It
was well after 3pm. Thanks to that lovely fall-back
event a few weeks ago, we were roughly an hour from
complete darkness. Anyone that lives in the northeast
can tell you about the arrival of the night during the
winter run that follows the end of daylight savings.
There is no lingering twilight. There is no gradual
fade. It looks, feels, sounds… yes, it feels and
sounds like someone dropping a can of paint.
A chilling thud with gloomy darkness enveloping everything.
A real mess.
|
|
November
4, 2018 |
|
I
have family in Australia though. For those of you that
might not know, out there they spring back and fall
forward. (Actually, they don’t. Their seasons are essentially
opposite to those of us in America. That means they
also spring forward and fall back. But since it’s me
reading the clock, and I need to adjust my thoughts
about making calls or expecting to see texts from them,
the joke works.) They also don’t adjust their clocks
on the same dates. The end result are these staged two-hour
swings that take roughly a month to complete.
|
|
November
4, 2018 |
|
It’s
even developed into a fairly standard joke between Terry
and I. Basically, built on the idea that no one ever
calls me. It’s funny (and perhaps a bit sad) because
it’s true. Heck, even the kids respond to her texts
within minutes and mine in about… well, I can’t give
you an exact amount of time because they never respond
to my texts.
|
|
November
4, 2018 |
|
I
remember one fall day when some wind overnight had knocked
down a few heavy branches. I actually needed to break
out the chainsaw to cut one of them, and then dragged
them off to clear a path. You got it… we were in the
car and moving when I flipped on the signal before turning
left out of the driveway onto the main road at 8:01am.
|
|
November
1, 2018 |
|
Can
of baked beans. Half dozen or so hot dogs. Mix them
up with a bit of brown sugar and some other additions
of your choice (we usually add a bit of ketchup and
ground mustard to the baked beans and brown sugar, with
some chopped onions in with the frying hot dog slices,
which all becomes a big dish of goodness heading for
some time in the oven before serving), open a can of
brown bread, and you’ve got quite the meal.
That’s
right. I said a can of brown bread. And if your eyes
have turned to a vacant stare of “I have no clue what
the hell you’re talking about” on that suggestion, well,
I’m afraid I won’t be able to help you understand much
of this effort.
|
|
October
29, 2018 |
|
Look…
I love cards. I do. I find myself absolutely thrilled
when I open the mailbox and find a card or letter from
a family member or friend. It’s awesome. But there was
an entire display within the card aisles set up for
Halloween. I don’t know of any time in my entire life
when anyone has sent me a Halloween card.
|
|
October
29, 2018 |
|
The
only responses for you were: (1) “No.” (2) A defiant
offering in the affirmative that you would jump off
of a bridge with your friends, which you didn’t really
mean but this was an argument with your parents and
you most certainly weren’t going to let them win.
And
in either case, the reality was, no one would jump off
a bridge because their friends did.
|
|
October
26, 2018 |
|
Now,
there’s a chance I absolutely did know all of this and
more at one time, and since those days just forgot.
The song was a hit in my youth, back in the early single-digit
years, and honestly close to the “I am this many years
old” declarations. I’ve heard the song played plenty
of times. But, it comes with a bit of a cultural phenomenon
status, like songs about muskrats and knocking three
times… where you know the tune and can identify it quickly,
but good luck remembering the names of the muskrats
or how many times to bang on the pipe to say no.
|
|
October
26, 2018 |
|
The
best description I can offer would be this. We took
the leftover sauce and placed it into a pan. We then
opened some new sauce and added it to the pot, effectively
bringing the amount of sauce to the same amount we had
begun with the previous evening. And then, we added
exactly the same amounts of seasonings and other ingredients.
|
|
October
23, 2018 |
|
I
have a firm belief about writing that transcends the
rules of grammar and style and so on. It uses the pure
joy of reading it as the standard or quality, and how
a work can completely absorb you. It’s about reaching
a state where you don’t even notice that you’re flipping
pages.
In
such a context, to me brilliant writing becomes about
being able to create a situation where a reader is fully
immersed in what they’re experiencing. Toward that end,
it simply doesn’t matter which words are being used
in what order with this punctuation mark or that. Grammar
rules disappear. (Sort of. For one thing, spelling still
counts. But let’s not digress.)
|
|
October
23, 2018 |
|
He
had just pulled into the driveway from his stops when
the phone rang… his wife… she was sending her father
over with his lawn mower. It wouldn’t start, he needed
it back right away because with rain in the forecast
for Tuesday he needed to get some things done on Monday,
and she was hoping he could drop everything to fix it.
As he hung up, he grabbed the bags, opened the car door
and glanced in the mirror. His father-in-law was pulling
into the driveway. It took five hours to fix the lawn
mower. Didn’t see a game, but he did split the sandwich
while they worked on the mower.
|
|
October
21, 2018 |
|
End
result, short and sweet version, the In My Backpack
web site has essentially been a place that holds my
writing. A lot of my writing. Finished efforts and scraps
of ideas. And, as time has moved along, that idea of
a home for my writing has expanded. Books and essays
and pictures and more. All sorts of projects running
all over the place. If it’s something I’m working on,
and it needs a place to reside on the internet, it has
a place in Backpackville.
|
|
October
21, 2018 |
|
If
you tell me to head out to the garden and grab a couple
of tomatoes… and, let’s say I happen to know we’re making
BLTs for dinner and that’s what the tomatoes are for…
I’ll come back in the house with a couple of tomatoes.
I might—might—bring back as many ripe tomatoes
as I could carry. But chances are good that with specific
instructions that directed me to a couple of tomatoes
for our meal while the toast was already being made,
there is little chance I looked around at the green
beans, peppers and zucchini. Tomatoes was on the to-do
list. Harvesting the day’s haul from the garden was
not.
|
|
October
14, 2018 |
|
When
the sander died on me one day this past week… quickly…
and wouldn’t charge again… well, I knew there were problems
heading my way three or four years ago. I had been given
warnings. Repeatedly. I just powered through them, adjusting
my schedule or plans and getting the work done. Every
project saying something like this to myself: “Just
get me through this project, and I’ll buy new stuff
for the next one.” Only every time I don’t buy new stuff.
The next project arrives, I plug in the charger a day
or two in advance and get the batteries as ready as
they can be, and then find myself trying to nurse a
battery-powered sander to the finish line just one more
time.
|
|
October
12, 2018 |
|
Right
now, history doesn’t suggest… history confirms
to a degree bringing it to a level bordering up against
certainty, that a minority of eligible voters are going
to show up in 2018. (And, unless something changes,
this will repeat in 2022, 2026, 2030, and so on.) Most
people don’t care. Most people don’t want to invest
the time.
|
|
October
12, 2018 |
|
My
wife jokes around about mind chatter, which is actually
nothing to joke around about. The basic concept can
be described as having a million things swirling around
in your head when you try to drift off at night. Instead
of sleep arriving, you toss and turn and stare toward
the ceiling and toss and stare and turn and toss. (One
of my friends calls this “the monkeys pounding on the
drums”… as in “couldn’t sleep last night, the monkeys
were pounding on the drums”…I like that.)
|
|
October
11, 2018 |
|
I
used to wish that my entire family would die in the
same plane crash.
This
was back when I was really young and first learning
about death, so don’t worry. I think it makes sense.
I couldn’t imagine life without those close to me… parents,
sisters, grandparents and so on.
|
|
October
11, 2018 |
|
Of
course, I probably should open the envelope up first.
I know it’s a major award. That part is obvious. Nothing
to worry about there. Something amazing and significant
and life-changing. But such a prize could be a new house
or might be an expensive car. It’s possible it’s not
money. And if that’s the case, I’ll still have bills
to pay. (Oh crap, what if I’ve won a terrific prize
and have bills to pay? Umm… ok…)
|
|
October
7, 2018 |
|
I’ve
actually heard that some places—think new city parks
or business campuses—build the main outline of a property
and then wait. After a few months, or maybe a year,
the preferences of pedestrian traffic become easy to
track. Worn grass here, packed dirt there. Once outlined
by the feet of those using the land, the planners go
back in and design more permanent walkways.
|
|
October
7, 2018 |
|
Chances
are good that if we are considering all-time games,
somewhat emotionless in our approach, the classics come
to mind: Pong, Space Invaders, Pac-Man,
Asteroids, Tetris and such. The titles
we all know and recognize as the beginning of it all.
Arguments made for Super Mario Bros. for literally
bringing it home. Defenses lined up for how Duck
Hunt and The Legend of Zelda contributed
to what is now routine.
|
|
October
7, 2018 |
|
About
ten years ago, a potential answer came about. I read
an article that talked about farming and produce. It
mentioned that some ways of improving overall growth,
specifically increasing the speed of getting things
to harvest (while in some cases also producing larger
fruits and vegetables), were actually resulting in produce
that had fewer nutrients. The faster growth had removed
the full development of nutrition (as an easily explanation).
This article, in many ways and from a different perspective,
lent a bit of support to my “the jalapenos aren’t as
strong” stance.
|
|
October
1, 2018 |
|
If
there is only one joy to be found in having a garden,
it arrives in August and September, when you can walk
right out and pick something literally seconds before
adding it to your meal. That is pretty awesome. A pepper,
some grape tomatoes, an onion, and things were looking
good for my breakfast.
Back
into the house, I moved the frying pan with the sausages
to the side, put some bread in the toaster oven, and
began working on the eggs and veggies.
|
|
September
28, 2018 |
|
Three
or four times a year, the rain draws my attention to
the gutters. Leaves are involved. Blooming bushes. Pinocchio
noses from the maple trees. All this and more causing
me to wonder if things might be getting clogged and
need a cleaning. Ladder comes out, a to-do item crossed
off.
|
|
September
26, 2018 |
|
I’ve
been known to pick a restaurant for dinner with my wife
based on whether or not I can get away with a t-shirt
and shorts because I have no desire to iron. I really,
really want to see my friends tonight… I really, really,
really want to be asleep eight to nine hours
before I have to wake up.
|
|
September
26, 2018 |
|
Methinks
a lot of this is perfectly normal stuff. We all go through
waves of using certain words. And often that isn’t just
reflected in what an individual says, but how groups
phrase things as well. Different level, still it’s not
all that different than the reasons we have different
languages, or even why groups that speak the same language
can have completely different words that sound absolutely
foreign to others.
|
|
September
26, 2018 |
|
Something
is happening in local, state and national politics.
Trick is, the vast majority of us don’t care. And it
turns out that not only don’t we care, that don’t care
has a control knob. On standard and routine days… majority
of people… knob sits around a 2. Make a story scandalous
and exciting… we might actually pay a bit of attention,
care just a smidgeon, and that control knob might even
head toward 11 if you can toss in some really saucy
elements. The main concept being simple enough… day
to day, nothing too far out of the realm of ordinary…
the vast majority of us really pay no attention to politicians
and government activities. We need rumors and gossip
and spice.
|
|
September
24, 2018 |
|
Is
hot cocoa a foundational element in special-memory-making?
I say yes. Not a required element. Instead, make a list
in your mind of items that always add a little something
extra to a moment. Hot cocoa must be on that list. (Warm
chocolate chip cookies and puppies must be on that list.)
|
|
September
21, 2018 |
|
Cream
of tartar.
Here’s
a good challenge: Name five recipes that use cream of
tartar. (Heck, let’s really ramp things up… other than
snickerdoodles, name one recipe that uses cream of tartar.)
|
|
September
21, 2018 |
|
I’ve
worked at a couple of places where company e-mail addresses
and cellphones have been issued to staff members in
specific positions. Now… I know you won’t believe this,
but…
Several
employees—not an isolated one or two, but fairly high
numbers—have been stunned over the years to learn that
each company had records of text messages, phone calls,
e-mails and so on. And, many of these employees expressed
shock that the company that paid the phone bill actually
wanted the employee to limit use of the company cell
phone to company business. As a bonus, they were enraged
that they might face disciplinary action for things
such as booking vacations and surfing web sites during
working hours.
|
|
September
20, 2018 |
|
Since
Terry and I aren’t experts, and have never headed out
to try and identify the turkeys individually, we figured
some other turkeys had shown up and joined the group.
(Sorry… not group… rafter. Parliament of owls… cackle
of hyenas… risk of lobsters… crash of rhinoceroses…
band of gorillas… rafter of turkeys. That crash of rhinoceroses
makes a lot sense. I like that one. Ok… rafter… back
to it…)
|
|
September
18, 2018 |
|
Now,
if you happen to live in certain places—say, Minnesota
or upstate New York—saying the fair means only one thing…
THE fair. The state fair. You don’t even need to say
it three times. It just kind of appears to sweep you
away for a couple of weeks. (Although that’s a joke,
I have heard that if you say “Minnesota State Fair”
three times in a row, a Sweet Martha’s bucket will appear
in your hand.)
|
|
September
18, 2018 |
|
The
reality is, I don’t fully care. I approach the weather
in pretty basic ways. Sun is out, I mow the lawn. Dark
and threatening clouds in the morning, I don’t hang
laundry. Rain pouring from the sky. I’ve got stuff to
do inside. Winter is cold, summer is hot, prepare yourself
accordingly and store your turtlenecks in July. And
probably like you, for the most part I approach those
weather reports… especially the long-range reports…
with the complete understanding that things are in motion
and subject to change.
|
|
September
18, 2018 |
|
As
I said, we had people asking us about the stuff we had,
and very little really went to waste. If it got picked
in our garden, it found a home. But not too far away
from our house were these two stands. They were out
about a quarter-mile from each other, along different
parts of the same road, with one on the honor system
for purchases and the other just giving stuff away.
Curious the difference, but not in any way that would
make you think all that much about it.
|
|
September
18, 2018 |
|
For
those that aren’t sure what I’m talking about, I retire
my older sneakers… by putting them to work. Anyone that
has gone outside with good intentions, clean sneakers
and a lawn trimmer understands why old and dirty sneakers
are the more preferable gear out on the lawn, when gardening,
and for other assorted digging in the dirt endeavors.
You tend to be a little less upset when the older footwear
comes back inside completely green.
|
|
September
16, 2018 |
|
Strike
that. Not “was” considering. She IS considering
it. It’s still an option. I am one-hundred percent certain
that if she thought I could get back to the house in
under thirty minutes, I would have been off and buying
at least two loaf pans (and probably four). Instead,
she knew the baking time, knew my minimum get-back-home
time, and figured that it was just as easy to use the
ones she had. But I’m guessing that I’ll know the time
for next year’s garden planning has arrived when I see
her in a store with a few loaf pans in the cart.
|
|
September
15, 2018 |
|
In
my defense, the door is one of those multi-lock handle
things. A deadbolt is one part of it. The other part
is a handle with a locking mechanism that allows the
door to be opened from the inside even when locked.
So, you can unlock the deadbolt and open the door, walk
outside and close the door, and then find the door is
pretty securely locked even when the deadbolt isn’t
engaged. (Which I have tested and found to be true on
multiple occasions… twice just this summer.)
|
|
September
15, 2018 |
|
The
answers to that last question are actually the easiest
to provide (and maybe the most telling as well). It
was everything. I hated every change that got made.
It looks different, feels different, navigates different,
and different different different. If I had to sum it
up, I would say that it isn’t so much that they changed
what they were offering, but that those changes made
the app different and it no longer offered what I was
looking for.
|
|
September
13, 2018 |
|
Many
years ago, I began making jokes about the decision-making
process that Terry and I used for things. And… ha ha,
this was great stuff… the punchline was always based
on my not having to make decisions. You get the idea,
depending on how many years it was from when Terry and
I began dating or got married and the audience involved,
I would say something like this: “Marriage has been
wonderful. I haven’t had to make a decision in ten years.”
|
|
September
13, 2018 |
|
Last
summer I began noticing some small holes around our
yard. Not really huge holes, but definitely too big
for the birds that were eating from the feeders we had
in the yard. One overnight, around 2am, for reasons
I can’t recall I was in the garage and preparing to
step out into the backyard. We have a door with a window,
and I flipped the switch for the light. As I was unlocking
the door, a bit of motion on the other side of the window
caught my eye, and… yes… skunk. Likely turned out to
be a very good thing that I didn’t just open the door
and step outside.
|
|
September
13, 2018 |
|
Frankly,
I’m shocked by many of you.
Ok…
well… yeah, shocked may not be the right word. And honestly,
it probably doesn’t even come close to expressing what
my true feelings are on most occasions. After all, at
times I’m not that surprised by what’s happening, and
at other times disappointment might come closer to covering
my reaction.
|
|
September
11, 2018 |
|
Terry
and I out and about running a few errands, heading down
the main road, suddenly looking off to the side and
spotting the iconic roof in place with all of the letters
and signage on and around the property removed… that
was a surprise.
|
|
September
11, 2018 |
|
I
suppose the peace of mind develops from the cause and
correction… the pairing of both, the balance if you
will… where being able to know both what is wrong and
that the proper corrections have been made assists in
completing the entire process. For most of us, if both
sides aren’t completed, the anxieties spread.
|
|
September
10, 2018 |
|
The
only clue we needed was the brown paper bag. It was
usually in the backyard, placed on the corner of the
deck that surrounded the pool.
Three
kids on a summer day, falling out of the car and racing
to the back door. Mom usually trailing the group from
the driveway… Dad occasionally, and both parents every
so often.
“Meme
and Pepe were here!” came the cries.
|
|
September
10, 2018 |
|
A
steady, no chance it won’t fall, don’t worry about the
garden today because tomorrow the flood warnings will
be popping up later in the day rain. As an added bonus,
it will also be a cold rain. A not making it to 60-degrees
rain. You know… fun.
|
|
September
8, 2018 |
|
In
the span of a generation we’ve lost the definition of
the word armistice. And I say that simply because I’d
be willing to bet that if you approached a group of
people, each about twenty years younger than I am, you’d
find that the majority couldn’t tell you the meaning
of the word armistice. It’s not their fault. The word
simply isn’t used as regularly as it once was. (It also
isn’t the reason for this tangent.)
|
|
September
8, 2018 |
|
My
favorite job that falls into such consideration is shoveling
snow. Usually by March, I’m so fed up with the white
stuff in the driveway that anything under two-inches
of accumulation is immediately ignored. Sun will take
care of it. A rise in temperature will take care of
it. Tomorrow’s rain… our walking for the mail or driving
the cars… something will take care of it. If
I can avoid it long enough, I won’t need to shovel it.
|
|
September
7, 2018 |
|
Count
Chocula is back.
Spotted
my first boxes of the year on Wednesday, and gleefully
placed one in my cart. Before the next few weeks pass
there will be more purchased.
It’s
one of my seasonal treats. These are the things that
are limited in time frame, but have become an annual
pleasure, almost a guilty pleasure.
|
|
September
4, 2018 |
|
I
made the exchange, bought an SNES Classic, and I have
been playing Donkey Kong Country. Trying to limit my
time on the unit I might play for a few minutes each
day, but now I’m at the final level and haven’t been
picking up the patterns and pacing that well. And the
fact that the system also comes with Super Mario Kart
along with other games is making it even more difficult
to put away each day.
|
|
September
4, 2018 |
|
For
these and other reasons… the scraps of paper line up
on the counter. Milk and eggs. Autocrat syrup. Some
8-foot lengths of wood and chicken wire. (And juice.
Geez, I asked you to remember the orange juice. It really
hasn’t been that long. Try to keep up. Ok? Thanks. (Sorry.
Didn’t mean to jump on you for that. I just don’t want
to forget the orange juice.))
|
|
September
3, 2018 |
|
A
hot air balloon, for whatever reason, just created an
immediate feeling of peace and happiness. I can hardly
find better words to describe it than saying simply
of my reaction: “Oh look, a balloon.” Yes, that works
nicely.
|
|
September
3, 2018 |
|
I
grew up in Rhode Island. For those unaware of the history,
that’s prime Dunkin’ Donuts territory. And back then,
if you wanted donuts, this was the place to go. Sure,
there were other places to consider… Mister Donut and
Bess Eaton come to mind… but Dunkin’ Donuts was the
leader in the region. It was an event to pick up a dozen…
usually for breakfast, but quite often as a special
treat for company. Over the past twenty years or so,
that part of the story has changed.
|
|
September
3, 2018 |
|
The
phrase is attributed to American history, with most
traces going back roughly one-hundred-fifty years. Actually,
not too long and quite likely more recent than you would
expect. It focuses on the sale of items in lengths,
usually cloth. On counters would be a way to measure,
usually two tacks mounted a specific distance apart
(perhaps a yard).
|
|
August
22, 2018 |
|
Forgive
me for drifting into such thoughts… but I often find
myself thinking that a really helpful light would be
one that comes on before the transmission craps out.
Or something that indicates the oil pump is on the edge
of kaputting. You know, bringing to my attention an
issue where a few hundred dollars of repairs might be
necessary, but if I do get to the side of the road,
turn the car off, and call triple-a for a tow, that
light probably saved me thousands.
|
|
August
21, 2018 |
|
It’s
a concept I don’t think about nearly as much these days.
Probably because I don’t chew gum that often. Possibly
because—hold on for a second while I find some wood
to knock on—I haven’t stepped in any gum for quite some
time. Still… gum… toss it on the ground, step in it
later.
|
|
August
20, 2018 |
|
Remember
them? Seems like those were the days where every time
you were making a purchase in a department store you’d
ask if they had a box for it. You’d use it for gift
wrapping. (And the identifying of it by the recipient
was the giveaway on a birthday or holiday that the next
gift was likely not quite as exciting… a shirt or pants,
and definitely not a two-foot-high robot with launchable
fists or rockets.)
|
|
August
19, 2018 |
|
First
off, his lawn mower is an older ride on style. And he
stores it in a detached building. Combine the two and
that means a garage door being swung open, a loud engine
roaring to life, and him taking off in a cloud of smoke.
A quite literal, very big, usually trailing him for
a few minutes as he begins his work, cloud of smoke.
|
|
July
30, 2018 |
|
We
live in a technological world of likes and shares and
clicks and speed. Get as many people engaged as possible,
even if only for a brief period of time. Get them interested,
while understanding that for many people that interest
is fleeting. Get the clicks, earn the dollars, accuracy
shoved to the side to be dealt with later. All of this
creates tricky waters to navigate.
|
|
July
30, 2018 |
|
They
don’t slow down. They don’t look left. They don’t look
right. They simply march along, not breaking stride
or varying their pace, and move into the road as if
surrounded by a forcefield of impenetrable smugness.
|
|
July
26, 2018 |
|
There
are a few things I appreciate about a garden. Actually,
more than a few. When it comes to creating amazing smiles
and ongoing thrills though, two seem to stand out: (1)
Finding ways to make the overwhelming arrival of specific
vegetables constantly exciting. Cucumbers for instance.
It’s easy to get bored with cucumbers. Finding a way
to continuously open the fridge, spot the same item,
and still be reaching for it day after day… yes… that’s
awesome. And, (2) bringing a new item to the garden
that you either hadn’t grown previously or had battled
unsuccessfully in previous years to grow.
|
|
July
22, 2018 |
|
The
other day I was driving on a road near our house. There
are several corn fields along the road. Both sides.
There’s an old saying about corn. “Knee-high by the
fourth of July.” I seem to think about that expression
every year but can never remember that “knee-high” part.
I ask crazy questions. (“Was it thigh high?” “…hip high?”
“Knee high doesn’t seem that high for the fourth of
July. I want corn on the cob and that doesn’t sound
near ready.”)
|
|
July
22, 2018 |
|
You
make some zucchini bread. Delicious. Great stuff. More
zucchini arriving though, so you prepare it and add
it to a dish with some pasta… bring some in to work…
make more zucchini bread… get mad when a couple grow
larger than you expected because you left them an extra
day or two while you used the zucchini still in the
kitchen… leave a basket at a neighbor’s front door…
roast it, grill it, fry it, add it to salads and dips…
freeze some zucchini bread… and, with your limits of
recipes and freezer space exhausted, the zucchini is
STILL coming.
|
|
July
14, 2018 |
|
I
keep using the old one. I keep telling myself “this
is the last roundup” every time I fill it with gas and
head out of the garage. I keep saying the new one runs
better and has a slightly larger blade and all sorts
of things that should bring me to a simple end… use
the old one until the gas tank is empty, clean it up
a bit, and then put it away to store as an emergency
backup. It does run. It can be used. But it is so far
beyond gone you would never give it to someone else.
And then…
|
|
July
10, 2018 |
|
Obviously,
I don’t believe the idea that material on the internet
and considering the source need much of an introduction
overall. Like another example, buyer beware, there’s
plenty of reasons and evidence for why all of us should
wander through web pages with skepticism and lie detectors
on full alert… and if we get drawn in by it, well, it’s
probably on us.
|
|
July
2, 2018 |
|
I
walked into my neighborhood location of a national chain
store and couldn’t find the posts. So, I asked. Turns
out that such fence posts are considered a seasonal
item. Spring-summer seasonal. Not November seasonal.
Didn’t
matter that dozens and dozens of my neighbors put up
similar winter fencing with similar posts every year
in November. And, it was explained to me, the store
would get in trouble with the corporate office for wasting
inventory storage space on what had been identified
as a seasonal item.
|
|
June
26, 2018 |
|
What
I am saying is that you can’t jump on a soap box, whip
the crowd into a frenzy by pretending it’s simple, and
then walk away. It’s not simple. You don’t get to complain
about a problem to the point where it gets changed,
and then get mad because others react to the new way
of doing things by doing things differently.
|
|
June
14, 2018 |
|
I
don’t understand how a temperature can be too hot one
day and too cold the next. (And yet, unlike a bowl of
porridge, it turns out that hot, cold and just right
can in fact exist all in the same bowl. Go Goldilocks,
go.) Terry and I usually keep the house temperatures
fairly steady throughout the year. What becomes crazy
is how the feeling of one temperature can fluctuate
so much across a complete year.
|
|
June
14, 2018 |
|
And,
sure, it’s not all bad. The WiFi in their safe rooms
allows for politicians to check their 401k portfolios.
Squirrels—incompetent and competent squirrels—are finding
acorns.
|
|
June
5, 2018 |
|
When
we moved into our current home, it was amazing how unfamiliar
we were with the sounds generated. Which parts of the
floor might creak… the direction of the wind… the way
cars sound driving along the main road. It took months
to adjust to the heating and cooling provided by central
air.
|
|
June
3, 2018 |
|
There
was a bit of a shift that took place as the days and
months and years went along. We worked at a place that
operated around the clock. As you might imagine, over
time many of us changed shifts and earned promotions
and it became a bit more difficult to stay in contact
with the everyday stuff. Things that could be relayed
over a daily cup of coffee were suddenly events that
simply got lost in the shuffle while trying to meet
a handful of times each month.
|
|
June
3, 2018 |
|
There’s
a basic judgement about the common cold, which is that
it will last about four to seven days if you do nothing
to treat it. Wake up, get your day completed while suffering,
go to bed, try to sleep with the coughs and congestion,
wake up, repeat. Roughly a week will pass and you’ll
be feeling better.
|
|
May
20, 2018 |
|
All
of the options are available on the opening move. You
could play a corner, center, or middle edge space. The
opponent hasn’t played yet, so there is no blatantly
specific reason for making any selection, other than
personal preferences and playing styles.
|
|
May
9, 2018 |
|
The
very basic elements of the story involved sending out
some thank you notes and consideration of the importance
for writing these out by hand. My entire defense of
not picking up a pen was founded on a very simple truth.
One which I believe was the most incredibly important
of all.
My
handwriting isn’t atrocious.
It
isn’t good enough to call atrocious.
|
|
April
23, 2018 |
|
The
true decision-time test was when I reached the cement.
Yup, in one of the holes the base of the post had been
cemented in place. And that discovery was when I went
into the garage and broke out the chainsaw. (The chainsaw
is not a subtle tool. Crap just got serious when the
chainsaw comes out as the problem solver.)
|
|
April
20, 2018 |
|
Over
the years, I’ve learned that even the space of a few
hundred yards can make massive swings to the ease of
accessibility. That gas station draws in quite a few
people. Service station gets a bit as well. And then,
pretty much every hour on the hour, that employee parking
lot keeps a nice steady stream of traffic moving all
the way from the light to just past the third entrance.
|
|
April
15, 2018 |
|
The
fancy part of the story in retrospect is that we did
actually get together. No apps. No GPS. No cell phones.
We didn’t text or e-mail to coordinate anything. Driving
was based on having a road atlas and several maps. We
simply talked a month or two in advance, set a date,
made our hotel reservations, and met in Hershey.
|
|
April
9, 2018 |
|
A
significant part of the annual experience is a near
constant half-inch to an inch of snow, blanketing the
cars as it falls overnight, most overnights. That’s
only a slight exaggeration. But much like the frost
that begins appearing on September and October mornings,
these spring layers of the fluffy white bring along
a very special treat.
|
|
March
23, 2018 |
|
That’s
when things get rough. Especially in the days following
a major snowstorm. It is absolutely no fun trekking
out into the yard, 40-pound bag of seed in one hand
and a suet cake or two in the other, when the thermometer
is registering single-digits and the ground is blanketed
by more than a foot of snow.
|
|
March
18, 2018 |
|
Trips
to Disney World, New York City, Seattle, Australia and
more are pictured on the wall. Drawings and artwork
and… and… and a poster, from college, with the tagline:
“Your student fee saving lives.”
|
|
March
17, 2018 |
|
(That’s
supposed to be a sweeping, powerful realization there,
albeit building on the figurative narration. Filled
with possibility, plus the lighting flashes and thunder
claps of a sizable aha moment. But… the actual jackpot
is up, so… *** NOTE TO SELF *** pick up a Powerball
ticket.)
|
|
March
10, 2018 |
|
Snow…
no snow… snowapalooza… dusting… heavy wet snow for the
next 48-72 hours… dusting… snowapalooza-like-term that
no one has ever used, learned, taught or considered
before, but someone thinks it will be catchy and sounds
like it’s actually real so they tag the word cyclone
to the end of it and start saying it like we’re the
crazy ones for having never heard it before… back to
a dusting… get out to your store NOW before it’s too
late… back to moderate amount… and all this and more
in just under 90-minutes.
(And
the couch STILL isn't in the right spot.)
|
|
March
10, 2018 |
|
You
can stop the search. I appreciate the help, but I found
my phone. (And I didn’t need to call it.)
A
few years ago… actually, many years ago… I was going
crazy looking for my phone. I checked every room of
the house. I called it. I looked in jackets and pants
and countless pockets. I called it again. I opened kitchen
cabinets and living room drawers. I called it again.
And again.
|
|
March
9, 2018 |
|
When
Terry and I bought our first house, we were treated
to a number of fun discoveries. The first took place
when I heard something best described as a loud pop
or bang. Turned out to be an issue involving a light
in one of the upstairs bedrooms. But the real excitement
came when we figured out there was absolutely no way
to get into the attic.
|
|
March
8, 2018 |
|
The
two men involved, Bush and Gore, have such strong politically
oriented family traditions that the phrase uttered to
a ten-year old child—“someday you could be president”—was
a realistic career possibility. In fact, for Gore, this
has been a campaign for a job that he believes his entire
life has been destined to obtain.
|
From
the Backpack ~ Originally posted March 8, 2003 |
|
March
8, 2018 |
|
The
time of year has arrived when thousands upon thousands
of individuals will begin the process of applying to
colleges. Over the years, many books and seminars have
offered guidance for applicants. However, there are
some lesser-known thoughts about the process that are
frequently understated, if they are mentioned at all,
and have the potential to save you lots of money while
making the experience a bit easier.
|
From
the Backpack ~ Originally posted March 7, 2003 |
|
March
7, 2018 |
|
We
laugh when Sheldon Cooper has multiple disaster kits
available, just in case the disaster prevents access
to his primary kit or his escape route doesn’t pass
the secondary kit. It’s funny, because don’t we all
have multiple disaster kits, evacuation plans, and run
emergency preparedness drills? (I’ll answer that by
directing your attention to many of my friends that
were in their cars following that hurricane… only because
they needed to charge their phones.)
|
|
February
28, 2018 |
|
There
are certain dates on the calendar… moments when we either
see our shadows or don’t (figuratively speaking)… where
our thoughts and efforts suddenly spin off into a checklist
of demands. Gutter cleaning, garden planting, firewood
stacking, lawn mowing, seasonal realities.
|
|
February
11, 2018 |
|
Who
residing in Texas doesn’t own cowboy boots and cowboy
hats? (Isn’t mandatory to have cowboy boots for formal,
dress, casual and everyday needs? And, I’m probably
missing at least four other pairs. Right?)
|
|
January
28, 2018 |
|
I
am not kidding you when I say that we used to trip the
circuit breaker that was involved in power heading to
the living room when we used one of the outlets in the
kitchen. Those two rooms were on opposite sides of the
house, in diagonally opposed corners.
I
would occasionally be working in the garage, using power
tools like a circular saw, and the power would go out…
in the garage… in the mud room… in the dining room…
and you get the idea.
|
|
January
24, 2018 |
|
It
means that in her kitchen, virtually everything is made
from scratch. If there’s suddenly talk in a group watching
television about how brownies might just be a good idea,
there will be sightings of unsweetened chocolate squares
being prepared for melting. I’ve even seen talk of brownies
explode into a kitchen with homemade chocolate sauce
on the stove and whipping dream being brought over to
a mixer.
|
|
January
24, 2018 |
|
Many
of you may be aware—marginally aware, not understanding
any of the deeper science aware—of the idea that there
are theories being proposed that involve multiple universes.
Some
of you may be aware—marginally aware, I don’t know if
there even is any deeper science aware—of the ideas
that involve not just multiple universes, but multiple
each of us living a different life in each different
universe.
This
past holiday season, I believe I may have lived inside
of a whirlwind of proof that multiple universes do exist.
|
|
January
24, 2018 |
|
I
never understood what chlorinated water meant until
my family went on vacation once (I believe Washington,
DC, was the first place I had this… umm… delightful
experience). I took the cover off of a glass in our
hotel room, walked over to the faucet, took a sip and…
yuck!
|
From
the Backpack ~ Originally posted as Ramdom Thoughts entry
April 4, 2005 |
|
January
24, 2018 |
|
The
latest news on the next hey-everyone-look-over-here
royal wedding includes details about Prince Charles
getting frustrated with the media. (Or, I would imagine
more accurately and likely, with a wing of the media…
the paparazzi.)
I’ve
been watching the news of the upcoming nuptials with
an arched eyebrow. From questions about if the title
of Queen will be an option for Camilla to the officially
lodged objections, I’ve been taking it in.
And
while I have mentioned some things a time or two on
this web site, I’m not English and I don’t live in England.
I’m finding it hard to gauge the truth and the emotion
from that perspective.
|
From
the Backpack ~ Originally posted as Ramdom Thoughts entry
April 4, 2005 |
|
January
24, 2018 |
|
Every
month, on the inside cover, was an advertisement for
a soccer game. It was hailed as being all the rage in
Europe. It showed actual figures, on a replica field,
that you could move and play the game with.
It
looked brilliant. Marvelous. Fun.
And
I wanted it.
|
From
the Backpack ~ Originally posted as Ramdom Thoughts entry
November 14, 2003 |
|
January
23, 2018 |
|
But,
in a strange way, I bring you good news. We’ve finally
reached the breaking point. For you see, here it is
2004, and we’ve finally hit upon the final straw… this
year we can confirm that Christmas is actually over
before the 25th of December.
|
From
the Backpack ~ Originally posted as Ramdom Thoughts entry
December 2, 2004 |
|
January
23, 2018 |
|
During
our stay, the two schools played a regular season basketball
game. Georgetown was one of our primary rivals, and
we were pretty excited about the game. I won’t make
fun of the Hoyas right now (What is a “Hoya” anyway?),
but when we asked them if they were going to watch the
game everyone in their group said no. Evidently, when
you “are as good as (Georgetown), everyone thinks playing
(Georgetown) is a big deal. Playing (Syracuse) doesn’t
mean much.”
|
From
the Backpack ~ Originally posted as Ramdom Thoughts entry
July 27, 2003 |
|
January
23, 2018 |
|
Tigg
said we needed checks. Like most married men, my wallet
is usually empty. No cash. And I couldn’t tell you where
the checks are, much less whether or not we are running
out. But we needed them, she ordered them, and she thought
I’d like to know so I could watch for any arrival of
checks.
They
arrived.
They
were wrong.
|
From
the Backpack ~ Originally posted as Ramdom Thoughts entry
December 2, 2004 |
|
January
23, 2018 |
|
I’m
trying to find the time and energy to edit and re-write
my novel. Unfortunately, the gutters need to be cleaned,
the garage needs to be painted, and there are leaves
in my backyard I have to rake up before I can get some
more grass seed down. And then there’s the work week.
Geez, the work week. Speaking of which… I think my work
day should end after 8-hours, but I have a few assignments
that I need to finish off at home because I ran out
of time while at work. It’s all creating a lot of undue
stress.
|
From
the Backpack ~ Originally posted as Ramdom Thoughts entry
April 29, 2005 |
|
January
22, 2018 |
|
I
don’t care what airline you are using for the flight
you are on as you head in to Green Airport. Every one
of them… every one of them… will have someone getting
on the intercom to welcome you to Providence. T.F. Green
Airport is located in Warwick, Rhode Island…
not Providence. This has been a pet peeve of
me, and all Rhode Islanders for… well… forever.
|
From
the Backpack ~ Originally posted as Ramdom Thoughts entry
March 1, 2005 |
|
January
22, 2018 |
|
In
reviewing the material, it is apparent the woman planted
thoughts in the doctor’s mind, ones he should never
have accepted without question. He made the mistake
of accepting them as fact without continuing with proper
technique or treatment. Simple summary, the surface
details show negligence in the actions of the doctor.
And that is, regardless of your application of any degrees
of severity to the word, malpractice.
|
From
the Backpack ~ Originally posted as Ramdom Thoughts entry
July 27, 2003 |
|
January
22, 2018 |
|
Oh
sure, there are other things. Most of them are best
saved for another time. But for now, you get the idea.
The world moves on, the world keeps changing, and often
our decisions get more complex. What we knew to be true
as kids is never completely true by the time we’re adults.
|
From
the Backpack ~ Originally posted as Ramdom Thoughts entry
April 29, 2005 |
|
January
22, 2018 |
|
I
talked with a good friend of mine that works for a company
that hires roughly half of their staff in other countries.
My question was about the benefits involved in outsourcing.
He generically responded that he didn’t have many thoughts
on benefits, since most were simple economics. But he
did say that outsourcing can create headaches that are
often never anticipated before a company takes the outsourcing-to-other-countries
leap.
|
From
the Backpack ~ Originally posted as Ramdom Thoughts entry
March 14, 2004 |
|
January
19, 2018 |
|
The
first people to cook seafood didn’t look at each other
and say something like: “This is good, but a bit of
lemon would really finish it off perfectly.”
The
first people serving wine didn’t scream: “No! No, no,
it’s white wine with chicken.”
Far
too often we look at things with a sense of immediacy.
We try to apply our lifestyles and situations to events
hundreds of years in the past. Think of it this way…
in the complete history of the world, refrigeration
is fairly new. There were times when seasonings weren’t
just to enhance a meal, they were a necessity for making
bad food palatable.
|
|
January
18, 2018 |
|
They
contain offers, where a company claims the ability to
provide for all of my needs in backpacks and backpack
supplies. Promises that my customers will be getting
the highest quality products. Everyone will be delighted.
Expectations exceeded.
|
|
January
17, 2018 |
|
And,
of course, you would arrive at the pool party your co-worker
was hosting without a problem. No street names offered.
No mileage specifics measured. Chances are good that
as the person was rattling off the details you were
visualizing every marker and turn until you reached
the final step or two, at which point you needed to
pay attention so you would know the number on the mailbox
and the color of the house.
|
|
January
16, 2018 |
|
I’m
often stunned by the lack of bakeries near my house.
And that’s been true of the past several places I’ve
lived. When I was younger, I knew where the bakeries
were. And not just the bakeries, but the different types
of bakeries. (These were where to go for the true pizza
strips… for the freshest and most delicious cookies
and brownies… for special occasion cakes… and so on.)
Times have changed. Now the local mega-mart offers most
of these and more.
|
|
January
16, 2018 |
|
I
remember “Rubberband Man” nailing me thanks to the OfficeMax
commercials years ago… of course, this is a tremendous
song, so I suppose I shouldn’t be complaining considering
the run of music rattling around unstoppably in my head
at times.
|
|
January
15, 2018 |
|
How
do you think you’d do, with no advance preparations,
if asked the questions on the United States Civics test
used during the naturalization process?
I
wonder about this from time to time. I’m a college graduate.
Love history. Enjoy the challenge of tests and trivia.
And whenever something like a television show or movie
offers up a character preparing to apply for United
States citizenship, or I read about a citizenship ceremony
taking place, I wonder when the discussion turns to
taking a test. How would I do?
And
more to the overall idea: How would I do without studying?
|
|
January
14, 2018 |
|
If
I’m meeting God, I’m guessing a sport coat and tie.
At least. Maybe God appreciates casual. Perhaps encourages
it. Eternity is a long time to be wearing a suit. Jeans
might work. Definitely not the jeans with the rips though.
|
|
January
13, 2018 |
|
This
year has been one of startling weather in the northeast.
I won’t claim it as bizarre, unusual or unexpected.
It’s winter. It’s the northeast United States. It’s
cold. (Ta-dah! Cold January during a northeast winter!
These and other brilliantly insightful observations
are brought to you exclusively here at In My Backpack.
Thanks for stopping. Come on back tomorrow!) Still…
we have been running along with single digit highs on
many days around my town.
|
|
January
13, 2018 |
|
I’m
not going to name the shop, because… well… the whoopie
pie part didn’t go well. You could head in to a convenience
store in New England, pick up a plastic-wrapped whoopie
pie five days past the best by date, and that gas station
offering would be a better whoopie pie than the ones
we experienced in this supposed best-in-Florida location.
|
|
January
12, 2018 |
|
Frankly
though, the thought of Jesus and his interest in specific
movies didn’t seem like much of an essay topic at all.
I wasn’t going to mention it. Was just going to let
it pass. Let’s not go messing with religion and movies
and Jesus when we have all have our own concerns, beliefs
and interests about the subject.
That
decision lasted all of about two hours.
|
From
the Backpack ~ Originally posted December 17, 2005 |
|
January
11, 2018 |
|
My
reaction was essentially to design a list out of current
headlines and news articles, attempting to show that
the Jesus I’m aware of wasn’t—and, sure, isn’t—a disparaging
jerk. More to the specifics, while I may not be the
most religious of people, if asked to outline his character
I would head toward words like kind, caring and compassionate.
In essence, Jesus would agree that nice absolutely does
matter.
|
|
January
10, 2018 |
|
Growing
up in Rhode Island, I was no stranger to the cliché
of: “If you don’t like the weather, just wait a minute.”
It seemed appropriate. The weather around me… in that
Rhode Island sense that includes Connecticut and Massachusetts…
was always changing. The idea of seemingly random, massive
swings of possibilities, no weather true exclusively
for any season seemed like a part of my hometown identity.
And, how dare anyone else make a claim to such a distinct
concept.
|
|
January
9, 2018 |
|
I
often worry that I give off some sort of impression
that I don’t believe in the dangers of climate change
or the concept of global warming. Which is, to be blunt,
crap.
|
|
January
9, 2018 |
|
Awake.
Kitchen. Coffee. Fog of sleep still hovering over emerging
thoughts of what to do with the day. Coffee. Coffee.
Stare out kitchen window into the yard. Coffee. Off
to the side of the fence, two sets of tracks. We had
visitors last night.
|
|
January
8, 2018 |
|
I’ve
always wondered about having some fruit trees in my
yard. Nothing too significant. A couple of apple trees.
Maybe some for peaches. Expand on the thought and add
some plants and vines and more for some blueberries
and grapes and such. You get the idea. Part of my grand
plans for the ultimate surroundings.
|
|
January
7, 2018 |
|
Before
we go hugging the nearest tree as a result of this report
though… help me out, because unless I’m reading it wrong…
the article and many others I’ve since read like it
are saying there may have been a time when the Earth
was warmer. Yes? So, if we survived back then when people
were likely completely ignorant of the problem… doesn’t
it make sense we should be able to survive now? (Important
note… we’re still ignorant.)
|
From
the Backpack ~ Originally posted July 9, 2006 |
|
January
6, 2018 |
|
Lechmere
opened… and closed. Its location is now occupied by
a Target. K-Mart moved, opened and closed. (K-Mart did
all three, though I’m not sure if I have that order
correct. The store may have opened, moved and closed.)
There’s a Home Depot (excuse me, must get the name right,
a The Home Depot), and, where the Warwick Musical
Theater used to be, now a Lowe’s. There are restaurants…
Chili’s, Olive Garden, Applebee’s… and lots of others,
way, way, way too numerous to mention.
|
From
the Backpack ~ Originally posted August 22, 2004 |
|
January
5, 2018 |
|
I
don’t know about the increased speed or fabric softening
capabilities. Never really tried to measure either.
I do know I still have problems when I dry sheets… they
continue to roll together and start bump-bump-bumping
until I hear it, stop the dryer, and pull the sheets
apart. And, those sheets are still wet from having rolled
together into one big ball.
|
|
January
4, 2018 |
|
It
should be thought of as one of the most beautiful Christmas
songs, and is easily one of the most beautiful that
no one ever thinks about, hums, requests or has noted
at any point on their list of favorite holiday songs.
|
|
January
3, 2018 |
|
Where
did mom keep all this wonderful stuff? In one of those
big, canvas, shoulder bags… a square measuring a foot
or so, and capable of comfortably holding more than
a large suitcase. It became known as “the mom bag,”
and it joined us from that trip on.
|
From
the Backpack ~ Originally posted July 8, 2003 |
|
January
3, 2018 |
|
I
recall watching with a tear in my eye the first times
they went up a flight of stairs on their own. Now I
wish they’d just stay downstairs. Over the years, one
if not both of them have stolen brownies off counters,
forced me off the bed, chewed on any number of books,
and destroyed Tigg’s shoes (but not mine… good dogs).
And some events will only make dog owners smile…
|
From
the Backpack ~ Originally posted June 19, 2003 |
|
January
2, 2018 |
|
Famous
songs from the show include “Three is a magic number,”
“Conjunction junction,” “I’m just a bill,” and “Unpack
your adjectives.” For the most part, if you asked me
to run through the lyrics of most of the songs, I could.
In fact, I literally remember sitting in junior high
school one day, singing (to myself) the “We the people…”
lyrics from the Constitution episode in order to take
a test. Most of my classmates later admitted to doing
the exact same thing.
|
From
the Backpack ~ Originally posted March 30, 2006 |
|
January
2, 2018 |
|
I
try to say “happy holidays” to people more often than
not. And I have used the reliable “season’s greetings”
at times. I even put a lot of thought into the selection
of cards when I can, making attempts to have some that
move beyond specific holiday themes into the best wishes
of happiness. But all of this doesn’t always work, because
my absent-minded-self takes over…
|
From
the Backpack ~ Originally posted December 23, 2004 |
|
January
1, 2018 |
|
Across
the street, a gentleman walks along with his Dalmatian,
pretending not to notice me. He pauses to light a cigarette,
not so much sharing a moment with man’s best friend,
but using it instead as an excuse to disguise his indulgence
of a condemned pleasure. The dog looks up at me then
looks down, apparently finding the stick in front of
him more interesting. Answering to a silent tug of the
leash, he leaves his discovery to again race in front
of the figure along the sidewalk.
|
From
the Backpack ~ Originally posted July 7, 2003 |
|
December
9, 2017 |
|
A
short distance from my house is a rock. More of a boulder,
actually. A small boulder. Still, it’s perfectly visible.
Near the side of a main road, not even three miles from
my driveway. It’s the type of rock you probably would
never notice. You could drive past it for years and
not even consider it.
This
rock is a bit different though. There’s a plaque mounted
on it. And, a few feet away, one of those official-looking,
state-department-of-transportation-style, blue background
with white writing metal signs indication that there
is an attraction nearby and more or less confirming
that this is a special rock.
|
|
November
18, 2017 |
|
As
a silly example… all of us can readily picture a formal
place setting at a dinner table. Multiple glasses, multiple
forks, multiple plates, and multiple more. Each with
a purpose, and a specific role in the dining process.
And yet, other than the idea of beginning at the outer
edges of lined up silverware then moving toward the
plate during the meal, most of us might have some difficulties
being completely and unhesitatingly certain if the wine
glass is a wine glass and not a water glass.
|
|
October
27, 2017 |
|
On
any given day, at any given moment, each and every one
of is vulnerable. We’re vulnerable because we have needs.
We’re vulnerable because we have desires. We’re vulnerable
because we have hot buttons and cravings and more. And
the question is… simply… can you step away from that
for a moment? Can you separate your motivations from
your actions for just long enough to make a sound decision?
Can you, without exception, do that all the time? If
not… I don’t care how smart you are… you’re at risk.
|
|
October
13, 2017 |
|
While
there is a comfortable distance between us and our neighbors,
there isn’t much between our yards. No overgrowth of
shrubs or bushes or trees. It’s a bit of a change in
this house when you understand that Terry and I had
been dealing with hundreds of oaks and maples and more
in previous homes. Today though… I spotted the snow
fence near the deck in their backyard. And with that
sight, all of the detached thoughts suddenly tached.
|
|
September
15, 2017 |
|
Because
times, they change. And it seems like there could have
been something else involved. In a world where floor
mats do not always come standard, it’s worth a few minutes
of reflection to recreate the events.
|
|
September
9, 2017 |
|
Terry
and I set a personal best during a 2016 road trip. We
drove along the east coast twice, and crossed the borders
of twelve different states. Not counting those bonus
possibilities, we saw forty-nine of fifty license plates.
As I recall, the only missing state was Nevada.
That’s
right.
Nevada.
|
|
July
20, 2017 |
|
They
buzz and they pester… and they bite. But they’re not
mosquitos. Oh no. Horseflies are bigger and can more
easily be encountered throughout the day. So, you know,
much more annoying to a child spending a summer day
in a pool.
|
|
June
18, 2017 |
|
One
day I asked a question that got a tremendous response.
“If
you had to prepare it, what is your favorite meal?”
Thanks
to some fantastic people that regularly visit my site
and play these games, the answers never disappoint.
For this one? Here we go…
“Ben
& Jerry’s or Haagen-Dazs.”
|
|
June
14, 2017 |
|
For
me on this day, as I set off for the store it certainly
seemed simple enough. Terry had me making some nut brittle
from a recipe we like. Because of an event she was planning,
she needed me to put together several double batches.
And that meant I didn’t have everything.
|
|
June
13, 2017 |
|
At
first, I looked at it and chuckled, thinking something
close to “wow, go figure, make it in my own kitchen”
while removing it from under a magnet. Realizing we
had never made it, and likely had no reason to make
it any time soon, I began moving toward the trash can.
And during those few steps is when I read it.
|
|
June
10, 2017 |
|
The
accountability and responsibility I mentioned begins
with us. We have the right to vote, and it’s up to each
of us to use that right. A step beyond that is the idea
that an informed and prepared voter is likely to make
stronger decisions.
|
|
May
14, 2017 |
|
I
got a lesson the other day. An unexpected lesson at
that. Involved people, and how we perceive things. Result
of a crockpot filled with meatballs and sauce.
|
|
May
9, 2017 |
|
The
weird thing about this mower involves oil. The design
set up for you to access the drain during the process
of changing the oil is nutty. For reasons that simply
defy any and all possible explanations I have ever sought,
encountered, discussed and experienced, the manufacturer
provides a tube that needs to be attached to the drain
spout. Use the tube, or, big mess.
|
|
April
29, 2017 |
|
In
so many ways it’s amazing how most of the seasons… most
things… pay no attention to the actual calendar in the
same way that recipes for cookies will tell you to bake
for something like 30 to 90 minutes or until golden
brown.
|
|
April
14, 2017 |
|
After
all, delivered on pink paper that qualifies the message
as significantly more urgent, printed in bold and underlined
font, the Department of Negotiations on Internet Boulevard
has reminded me that this is their “second attempt”
to reach me. (Oh… sorry… second
attempt… that’s better.) And
thank goodness, they are not messing around in letting
me know this is important stuff.
|
|
March
25, 2017 |
|
Sure…
sure… if it had been some sort of big deal, I would
have immediately jumped in the car, headed to a home
improvement store (or home improvement aisle or retail
outlet with some bulbs on a shelf), and picked up four
lightbulbs. It simply never became that big of a priority.
Even when a second bulb burned out.
|
|
March
23, 2017 |
|
The
other morning, I woke up first. With a few things going
on, ranging from errands to falling snow to texts arriving
while I slept, I picked my phone up from the nightstand
and went to check a couple of things. And… because,
of course… at some point as I moved along through different
apps, a video began playing, and the rest of the details
aren’t important because the sound woke up Terry.
|
|
March
18, 2017 |
|
It’s
not just zeppolas though. There’s no Chinese food near
us either. Much as I nodded toward Uncle Tony’s earlier,
I point in the direction of P.F. Chang’s now. If you
are looking for a nice meal with flairs of a Chinese-food-influenced
menu, then setting out in search of an entrance with
a marble horse is certainly a way to go. Food is usually
good. Service usually attentive and kind. I’ve enjoyed
my visits to several of their restaurants in multiple
states. I would go back again (and again) in the future.
However, if you are saying P.F. Chang’s offers by far
and away the best Chinese food around you, then… I’m
sorry. I wish we could fix that for you.
|
|
February
28, 2017 |
|
Winter
in upstate New York… as is winter throughout many places…
often brings with it the joys of snow. Funny thing about
the northeast, in many areas the winter months bring
along temperatures with few days crossing above the
30-degree mark. That means snow… and means no rain.
|
|
February
21, 2017 |
|
As
is the case with just about every plan or thought Terry
shares with me, in the end she’s absolutely right. Changing
things up clears the head and freshens things up in
ways that really defy all description and logic. It’s
different… fun… kind of a shiver and shake for doldrums.
It’s a visual stimulus that wakes you up, and even in
just a small way can cheer you up.
|
|
January
30, 2017 |
|
We
all have different values, and the problems associated
with merging those differences is never going to go
away. It’s not just the people taking the slices of
cake that are missing the point, unfortunately quite
often it’s the people leaving the notes as well.
|
From
the Backpack ~ Originally posted February 1, 2006 |
|
January
30, 2017 |
|
In
the past few years I have had airport screeners ask
me to remove my shoes when the signs clearly stated
it was optional. (Something along the lines of “you
may wish to remove you shoes” that was intended to make
sure no metal was scanned or time wasted because of
it.) Having absolutely no metal in my shoes, I wanted
to leave them on. Nope.
|
From
the Backpack ~ Originally posted March 7, 2007 |
|
January
30, 2017 |
|
It
was a commercial on television that got me thinking
about it. A few ideas... floating around in my head...
and all of a sudden something happened to cause them
all to crash together into a true thought. It was an
advertisement for some new flashlight that didn’t use
batteries. The concept was based on a something-we’ve-all-experienced
moment of dead batteries when you need the flashlight,
if you can even find it. What
caught my attention was the lifetime guarantee.
|
From
the Backpack ~ Originally posted February 2, 2006 |
|
January
30, 2017 |
|
A
friend of mine sent an e-mail out to a group of us the
other day. It was one of those e-mails that you would
likely normally delete right away, recognized without
having to fully read… a wish and a prayer and a send
this to your friends, let’s see if you return it to
me e-mails. But every so often I scroll along on those
very e-mails just to see if I can find something… anything…
that offers a clue as to why the person decided to send
it, and to a degree, why they sent it to me.
|
From
the Backpack ~ Originally posted May 1, 2006 |
|
January
30, 2017 |
|
Let
me put this out there right at the start… the best Republican
candidate… the best Democratic candidate… the top two
men for the job aren’t on any ballot this year. One
of them is campaigning… on behalf of others… and one
of them hasn’t been seen too much for a few years.
|
From
the Backpack ~ Originally posted October 20, 2004 |
|
January
30, 2017 |
|
We
had a couple of one gallon containers already. One of
them had cracked (after about ten years of fairly constant
use, including being brought to several pre-concert
tailgate parties). But those fantastic containers that
I liked were from Tupperware… so naturally going to
a different company was the thing to do.
|
From
the Backpack ~ Originally posted August 20, 2006 |
|
January
30, 2017 |
|
One
tangent problem is that even though Sheboygan has dozens
of dining opportunities, none of the responses to her
letter will convince Linda that she is wrong. Ms. Hartman
has an idea of what a successful community looks like.
And that community has a Red Lobster, a Chili’s, two
Lowe’s, and a mall anchored by Sears and Kohl’s. Wal-Marts
rise on opposite ends of the town’s main street. Best
Buy offers the latest in entertainment.
|
From
the Backpack ~ Originally posted January 5, 2007 |
|
January
30, 2017 |
|
Last
night I heard a star fell from the sky –
A
star fell from above
|
From
the Backpack ~ Originally posted September 11, 2003 |
|
January
29, 2017 |
|
There
was no Doppler 57,000 in the year 1829. Hard to believe,
but there was no Ghiorse Factor back then either. (Little
inside joke there. Legendary Rhode Island weatherman,
John Ghiorse. Back to our story…) So even if our weather-related
sayings were going to have an opportunity to be accurate,
they also tended to be a bit simplistic.
|
|
January
29, 2017 |
|
The
term “go fish” we know from the game, and has come to
refer to something that is almost a hopeless and lost
cause. You’re off on a fishing expedition… gone fishing.
It might be the sarcastic response given when you don’t
get what you ask for. And how about those legendary
fishing tales? Kind of works there too. It doesn’t appear
that the game ever had anything to do with fishing though.
At least not until one variation of the game became
more noted and popular.
|
|
January
28, 2017 |
|
...the
way I read the information in this article, this situation
is entirely possible – One day, I’m driving around in
Warwick, Rhode Island. I get a craving for fries, an
apple pie, and a chocolate shake. I pull off the road
at a McDonald’s and head around to the drive-thru window.
When I get there, a pleasant voice welcomes me and asks
for my order… but the source of the voice could be in
Massachusetts… or in Ohio… or in Oregon.
|
From
the Backpack ~ Originally posted March 12, 2005 |
|
January
28, 2017 |
|
I’m
going to paraphrase for a second, because I absolutely
love the sentiments, but for the life of me I can’t
recall who told me the following or the exact words.
Both of these ideas I first came across at least twenty
years ago while in high school: (1) Anyone qualified
to be president doesn’t want the job. Anyone that actually
wants to be president isn’t qualified enough to vote
for. (2) The only thing Richard Nixon did that other
presidents didn’t do was get caught.
|
From
the Backpack ~ Originally posted August 24, 2004 |
|
January
28, 2017 |
|
In
Melbourne, it is estimated that just about every person
appears on surveillance cameras 100 or more times per
day.
|
From
the Backpack ~ Originally posted August 26, 2005 |
|
January
28, 2017 |
|
A
few years ago, my wife and I bought a house. About ten
months after moving in, we received material explaining
a way to refinance. It looked good enough that we called.
We stayed on the line to answer questions and were told
a representative would call within two days. As promised,
we received a call from a person that took ten minutes
to explain that since we hadn’t been in the house for
a year, we didn’t qualify. However, they did have some
other programs we might be interested in. We weren’t.
|
From
the Backpack ~ Originally posted September 10, 2003 |
|
January
26, 2017 |
|
The
other day I was outside with a shovel, pondering the
joys of time invested in clearing pathways around the
house. I was also being grateful that our current driveway
is significantly smaller that our last driveway, and
also happens to not have a major uphill run. As part
of daydreaming while I worked, I wandered along into
the area where I considered all of the different snow
we’ve encountered so far this winter.
|
|
January
24, 2017 |
|
A
good way of explaining it? My presentation on it could
be best described by looking toward Adam and Eve and
the Garden of Eden as an example – I offered up a reading
that claimed an apple was quite literally an apple,
though in my mind and beliefs I knew there was something
quite different taking place.
|
|
January
22, 2017 |
|
I
suppose there’s no accounting for taste. That would
be a simple explanation. After all, there are people
that let children wear a New York Yankees t-shirt. And
not just in private. Not when doing sweaty, dirty, wear
your junk clothes because they’re going to be destroyed
by this work. They wear these Yankees t-shirts in public.
So perhaps this is well beyond understandable thought
and sound decision making.
|
|
January
22, 2017 |
|
Now
on the surface, I can see if your initial response to
this idea is skeptical. I’m purposely being vague and
somewhat general and even a bit silly. Most people know
that I don’t find myself aligned with any political
party. I have questions and doubts and misgivings about
the professional motivations of virtually every politician
I’ve ever heard of or known. In summary, never blindly
trust anyone that shakes hands and kisses babies for
a living.
|
|
January
18, 2017 |
|
The
original quote belongs to Ogden Nash. Known for his
sense of humor and incredible rhymes, Nash is certainly
a name you know, though you may not know why. There’s
a lot of that around.
|
|
January
17, 2017 |
|
We
have one of those mounted above the stove microwave
units, with a venting fan and light built right in.
It has a weird display and control design that can overwhelm
and frustrate, along with no visible dedicated popcorn
button, but once we got used to it the thing has been
pretty nice.
|
|
January
17, 2017 |
|
Where
we worked, there was just about always a radio playing.
The usual setting, as you might expect, was kind of
a classic oldies station. Local. Some news. Some weather.
And those great songs you grew up with. Even for the
songs you don’t consider favorites, the lyrics are etched
in the stone of your memory.
|
|
January
16, 2017 |
|
I
would love to help guide you to seeing a moose in New
Hampshire, or killer whales off the coast of Washington.
Can’t guarantee it. But, the moose are around and the
killer whales are swimming along.
|
|
January
15, 2017 |
|
In
other words, technology is moving so fast, we can’t
even keep up with it. All we can do is make an attempt
every so often to jump aboard the moving train as it
roars past. Things are happening that not only change
the way we view our world, they are changing the way
we experience it, interact with it, and navigate our
lives because of it.
|
|
January
15, 2017 |
|
“…I
get up hills that I never could get up before, park
in parking spots that I would have gotten stuck in…”
|
|
January
15, 2017 |
|
The
other day I was walking along and passed a couple of
people that were talking, and one of them pulled out
this old standby gem of a saying. And, since I didn’t
hear any other part of their conversation, all I can
say is fine. Nice thought. Quite likely well-intended.
|
|
January
13, 2017 |
|
My
family did visit the White House decades ago. My parents
worked out a family vacation to Washington, D.C., that
included a ton of stops. Smithsonian museums, the Supreme
Court, Capitol Hill, and more were on the itinerary.
And one day, we stepped inside the White House. (We
didn’t eat there.)
|
|
January
12, 2017 |
|
This
concept in turn brings us to another very common phrasing,
and the German language. (Say it with me… gesundheit.)
The response to a sneeze in this manner actually translates
as health and wellness. (The word breaks down into “health”
and “hood” in the German form. Which is great. The unfortunate
part? The history for this phrase in broad use goes
back only one to two hundred years. “Bless you” has
the real longevity here.)
|
|
January
12, 2017 |
|
They
can be joyously hysterical just by their presence. They
don’t exactly do much. They definitely don’t duck and
dive and soar and swoop like the blue jays. But they
have the way of appearing to have settled right in.
Kind of like they found a recliner and an afghan, united
with plans to clean out a few episodes from the list
of the recorded shows. Not quite nesting, but definitely
nestled.
|
|
January
10, 2017 |
|
We
could be talking about fries, stuff around your house,
and results from the office… the thing is, when it comes
to numbers, you can make them say pretty much anything
you want them to say. It depends on perspective. It
depends on time and on place and on several factors
that often mean it isn’t a simple question.
|
|
January
8, 2017 |
|
We
can debate the details in a million different ways,
but I just want you to think about that question as
stated. Just as a simple observation. Because the top
of the corporate group, Sears Holdings, has sold the
Craftsman name/brand/empire/toolbox to Stanley. (Ok,
officially… in a really funny scenario that only heightens
the beauty of this essay… Craftsman now belongs not
to Stanley, but to Stanley Black & Decker. We are
not going further down that path though.)
|
|
January
8, 2017 |
|
Normal
and comfort and expected can be wonderful things. It’s
how many of us find our car keys… because they’re where
we normally put them. It’s feeling warm and happy… because
our favorite sweatshirt and blanket and chair are comforting.
It’s the world seeming right… because the sun is still
out on a nice summer evening, a good show is on television,
and everything is moving along exactly as you expected.
|
|
January
8, 2017 |
|
The
tricky conversation area comes from a simple place:
no one wants to be the one seen as politically incorrect,
or in the case of those seeking assistance, shown as
being in opposition of someone truly in need of help.
And yet, there are plenty of examples of people taking
advantage of a system or situation and charity gone
wrong, which in turn should be investigated and criticized
(and, potentially, opposed).
|
|
January
2, 2017 |
|
There
is no Harry Potter. And that’s some pretty awesome…
and strange… fiction. When it comes to having Abraham
Lincoln fighting zombies, dealing with alien invasions,
and facing any of a number of other situations, the
idea of fiction is pretty strange. Want to have some
fun? Stick out your hand and take a ride with Arthur
Dent and Ford Prefect. Douglas Adams will take you on
an incredible journey. That stuff great, and also fiction.
Fiction has no rules. No laws. There is no need, for
instance, to commit to something like gravity. In a
work of make believe, you can put that to the side and
have a person fly with nothing more than a cape. (And
the cape is optional.)
|
|
January
2, 2017 |
|
When
I was in elementary school, we got the positive version
of “Flowers are red” (Harry Chapin classic… find… listen
to it… love it… and pay attention to the message it
contains.). We were told that when we grew up, we could
be president. It was a time when boys dreamed of being
firefighters and baseball players. Eventually a bad
coach and the inability to hit a curveball derailed
my baseball ambitions. But the real lesson here is that
I don’t know if it matters what the realities are of
the job description. Instead, it rests with the definition
you place upon success.
|
|
November
9, 2016 |
|
Because
when you invoke Murphy’s Law… while you are making a
humorous shoulder shrug toward “of course something
went wrong, we should have expected that”… you are pretty
much placing in motion the acceptance of a predetermined,
fixed in time, fated event (or set of events).
|
|
November
1, 2016 |
|
In
2010… because, sure… Rhode Island again… one candidate
ran for state office with the expressed, not a secret,
top objective of winning so he could abolish the office.
Perhaps unfortunately, that candidate didn’t win.
|
|
November
1, 2016 |
|
For
years, a friend of mine used to have the “Billy test”
for potential boyfriends. She had a younger brother.
(Yes… Billy.) When she left for college, Billy was 2-years-old.
During her senior year of high school, she developed
an interesting way of gauging how good a boyfriend was.
She would introduce him to Billy.
|
|
October
17, 2016 |
|
One
thing I hate about pulling out the air conditioners
is dripping water throughout the house. Perhaps a contest
of sorts, it was still an unwelcome one as I would attempt
to balance the unit without spilling water all over
the floors and stairs as I tried to get the damn thing
outside so I could let it drain a bit and dry out.
|
|
October
11, 2016 |
|
Thing
is… while you may find someone inside the produce area
looking frustrated by their attempts to locate the broccoli…
rarely do you see someone in the center of the section,
on their knees with hands raised to the heavens, exclaiming:
“Can someone please help me find some fruit? Any fruit?
I’ll take any fruit at all!”
|
|
October
9, 2016 |
|
The
stunning part is that for some reason, there are people
that actually seem to think that others will change.
They seem to believe that their understanding of the
scenario is correct, and that others will behave to
their expectations when confronted on the issue.
|
|
October
8, 2016 |
|
Regardless
of the situation… regardless of any warning signs… treat
the microphone as if it is on. Don’t believe the sign
on the wall. Don’t believe the little red light. Don’t
even look down at the switches and knobs and more and
get tripped up because it’s flipped to off or the volume
appears set at zero or whatever.
|
|
October
5, 2016 |
|
The
pair met up last night in the first (and only) debate
of candidates for Vice President in this 2016 election
run. As my brain melted, all I could clearly make out
as a result of that mess was something from a Charlie
Brown special: “Mwah ma wah wah maaaaawwwww.”
|
|
October
3, 2016 |
|
Consider
those two wonderful occasions every year when most of
us need to adjust the clocks. Are you finding clocks
with strange and horribly labeled buttons that take
a few extra moments to figure out? (It’s usually the
damn clock radios on the nightstand that cause these
frustrations. But considering the number of people that
have gone decades allowing the clock to keep flashing
on a VCR, I know there are more.)
|
|
September
29, 2016 |
|
It’s
awesome, and in many ways spectacular, to see how e-mail
and texts messages and more have changed the way we
can communicate. It quite literally has made the entire
planet smaller and faster. Still… communication… for
those that only use phones mounted on the wall with
a cord dangling down and have no computer in their homes,
it’s kind of hard to make an argument that technology
is moving too quickly to grasp when time around them
isn’t really moving at all.
|
|
September
23, 2016 |
|
Most
of the history lessons surround salt as a life-giving
spice and expand from there. References abound of salt
being used to preserve food. Salt gets used for tasks
such as treating icy surfaces. There are virtually limitless
uses for salt. It is quite common, incredibly functional,
and absolutely necessary.
|
|
September
20, 2016 |
|
A
part of it is simply that it is a sign of respect and
an offering of recognition. Without dipping my toes
too deeply into this pool, it’s a way of extending my
best to another, showing an appreciation that I understand
they are in some way a part of my world while trying
to make that world a slightly better place.
|
|
August
21, 2016 |
|
Walk
up to any singer, songwriter, band, etc., and say the
following: “I’m here with an offer. If you sign right
now, your best album will be in content and quality
the equivalent of the material on Magical Mystery
Tour.” Once you tell them the songs on the album,
I guarantee every one of them will sign.
|
|
August
16, 2016 |
|
The
main message passed along to me by this individual was
that the person was absolutely convinced that the majority
of support for one candidate was because: (1) most of
this candidate’s supporters didn’t have a college degree,
and, (2) since they didn’t have a college degree this
person was declaring they were stupid.
And
that just ticked me off.
|
|
August
14, 2016 |
|
...out
in the garage you’ll find things for the lawn mower
or snow blower, bird feeders, and most tools very quickly.
I use them. Often. The Christmas stuff is in a back
corner, out of the way. Specialized items that are rarely
needed, like the wrench that works best under the sink
at fitting around pipes and more to tighten the faucet,
never seem to be in the first drawer of the tool chest
I check, or even in the tool box with most of the plumbing
items. (But, when I do find it, I’m sure I’ll recall
the extra special reason for where I did have it and
why I should have remembered that’s where it was.)
|
|
July
31, 2016 |
|
A
very large percentage of your annoying co-workers, I
believe, don’t realize they’re annoying co-workers.
People
using chainsaws while standing on ladders and leaning
way out to catch the branch that’s thisclosetothem when
they stretch, I know as a fact, don’t realize they should
have the car ready with a driver aware of the shortest
route to the emergency room.
|
|
July
29, 2016 |
|
Context
is always an important thing. And so, let’s understand
I’m not suggesting some sort of mystical world where
the square root of sixteen is purple, everything you
know is wrong, and you really should stop reading this
essay so you can go find the perfect hat for a cup of
tea before the Red Queen and the Mad Hatter arrive.
|
|
July
22, 2016 |
|
Of
course… times change. In those heady days of media overload—really,
TWO editions of the daily paper with one of
them delivered right to my doorstep—there was no real
debate over cable or satellite television options, since
most homes didn’t have either. And the internet? What
the heck is an internet?
|
|
July
17, 2016 |
|
A
game like having Glee or American Idol
running an extra minute or two truly provided amazing
programming decisions for those reasons I point out.
(Or whatever is being broadcast now that those shows
have ended their runs.) You were able to sell more advertising
time during the highly rated show, and you added in
the possibility of decreasing numbers for opposing networks,
while maybe… just maybe… increasing numbers on yours.
We’re
quickly leaving that playing field though.
|
|
June
26, 2016 |
|
And
try as I might… creating thoughts of a past emergency
where donuts dropped all over the floor as a terrified
patron screamed “NO” while silently promising
to never let an unsecured package of baked goods ever
ruin her shopping experience again… I could not get
over this woman reaching into her purse, pulling out
a roll of tape, and sealing the boxes.
|
|
March
27, 2016 |
|
If
you think children should be seen… and seen only on
rare occasions… and never heard, that’s just fine inside
the walls behind your own doors. But most restaurants
qualify as a type of common area, and that’s quite different.
In such instances I think we need to consider the environment
and, in one manner of expressing it, the desires of
the hosts.
|
|
March
12, 2016 |
|
However,
every candidate running for president right
now looks like something that is legendary for being
placed in a bag, brought to a doorstep, and set on fire.
The scariest thing when calling one leading candidate
a misogynistic con man (because that’s the nicest thing
you can call him) has to be looking around and realizing
that none of the other candidates are worthy of a more
positive description. Different adjectives. Same burning
paper bag.
|
|
January
15, 2016 |
|
It’s
kind of like those contestants on talent shows that
last until the final five or six, despite the fact…
and while I’m stating opinion, let’s face it, it is
fact… despite the fact that they are so limited or lacking
when compared to other contestants, we can all see they
should have been eliminated before the public voting
even began. But they aren’t. Instead they manage to
sneak through, week after week, without even landing
in the bottom, end-of-the-show, thank-you-but-go-home
segment.
|
|
January
11, 2016 |
|
As
we waded into the voice command, several things seemed
off. As those that use such features probably understand,
the first thing that needs to be done is getting the
GPS to acknowledge that you are trying to operate it
vocally. Then comes a series of navigation statements
designed to filter things down a bit. And right about
there is where all hell broke loose… sort of…
|
|
January
8, 2016 |
|
Sure…
there are probably plenty of people responding to the
mention of toasting St. Patrick’s on the 27th of March
with raised eyebrows of excitement followed by deliberate
consideration. Unfortunately, they lose any possible
attempt at making a case for follow up arguments during
the hangover the next morning.
|
|
December
9, 2015 |
|
This
morning I had to go out, realized I could use some loose
change on my errands, and while walking literally fifteen
feet from grabbing my cars keys to the jar with the
change in it I forgot why I was walking across the kitchen.
|
|
November
15, 2015 |
|
I
could use thousands of words to cover the delicious
offerings of Arremony’s. Those words would cover a jaw-dropping
assortment of beyond description doughnuts, how often
days featured special creations, and how many cakes
were part of celebrations for my family and friends.
I
could discuss how mentioning the name Arremony’s around
many people can elicit sighs of joy and cause eyes to
glaze over.
|
|
October
4, 2015 |
|
At
this point in my life though, I’ve never had to use
a chainsaw on something across my driveway. In the yard…
yes. Seen trees take down power lines and block roads,
all fortunately not at my home… sure. But I cannot recall
a tree that had fallen in such a way, was in my yard,
and was large enough that I needed to break out the
chainsaw to clear the driveway.
|
|
September
21, 2015 |
|
My
favorite pet peeve is the sponsored “best of” segments
that do a better job of causing blinding headaches than
they do of delivering any moments that could really
be called highlights (but I’m sure do a fantastic job
of raising money). The network… actually, networks,
since it’s a family of channels… is becoming virtually
unwatchable for the majority of the day.
|
|
September
19, 2015 |
|
I
don’t want to dislike something. I don’t want to be
negative about something. If you use your posts to show
us what came off the grill for dinner tonight… to tell
us about something awesome your kids did... to make
us aware of an article, joke, or something funny...
to bring some attention to your own accomplishments…
then GOOD FOR YOU! I’m all for it. Let’s have some fun
and enjoy life.
|
|
September
17, 2015 |
|
Because
when I was younger, my problem wasn’t so much with feeling
left out. (Oh, I was left out. I felt it. And I was
often quietly miserable.) More than anything else though…
the problem was that back then I had zero grasp of time
and life. It’s kind of an amazing contradiction really,
and one for which there is no solution. (Even from a
really well written letter.)
|
|
September
14, 2015 |
|
Actually…
most sources say nope. In fact, if you research it,
you’ll be really hard pressed to find a place that believes
that’s in any way a part of the saying. Almost any place
I found that did mention it basically explained that
it was once considered, and then quickly dismissed it.
|
|
September
13, 2015 |
|
Here’s
a good one… it doesn’t involve the characters of Iron
Man and Batman, and it actually spans more than twenty
years… you could probably build a strong foundation
comparing Friends to That ‘70s Show
to The Big Bang Theory and concludes they are
very similar. (Watch… groups of young friends, hanging
out, and occasionally having romantic interactions…
see?)
|
|
September
9, 2015 |
|
I
know you’re going to be stunned… they come from trophy
makers. Yes, indeed, absolutely… the groups supporting
the idea of awarding all participants a trophy are the
groups that manufacture and sell the trophies.
|
|
September
6, 2015 |
|
For
the month of February… 28 days… the average temperature
of those days was below ten degrees Fahrenheit. Heck…
the average low temperature, for the month of February,
was below zero. (Yippee!)
|
|
September
4, 2015 |
|
I’m
officially calling an end to all the fancy and limited
edition flavors of our favorite brands. (And, in some
cases, all the fancy and limited edition flavors of
struggling to survive and hoping to catch lightning
in a bottle with something people suddenly notice brands.)
Unfortunately, people are too busy praising the genius
of Lay’s Southern Biscuits and Gravy chips to pay any
attention to my declaration ending such nonsense.
|
|
September
4, 2015 |
|
Over
recent weeks though, I’ve come to realize something
else. Something so evident that many people will nod
in understanding. These crazy, unpredictable, loveable
goofballs brought sanity to my life. They gave me purpose,
often when I needed it the most.
|
|
September
1, 2015 |
|
Almost
all of us can picture a delightful, amazing, and bordering
upon sinfully good indulgence. Perhaps it’s warm chocolate
chip cookies or a beyond description sundae. Something
that just tempts you as the most incredible and often
unsatisfied craving.
During
two decades, I have been fortunate to share many moments
with Ellen. Terry and I have been on several adventures
with her and Richard. And when it comes to indulgences
for her, I can tell you Ellen loved good wine and enjoyed
good food. She was passionate about travel, and thrilled
by the opportunities to host friends at her home. But
there is one thing that, just by seeing it on a menu,
could cause her to enter a state of dazed bliss, with
her eyes glazed over and as a visible state of euphoria
overtook her.
|
|
August
11, 2015 |
|
You
have to understand a few things in order to truly follow
this. The Fantastic Four as a group of superheroes does
not exactly face the most incredible or recognizable
roster of villains. They have faced a lot of villains.
It’s just that many of them aren’t that memorable, and
several are known more for their involvement with other
heroes. And yet, as their most impressive challenger,
they do have one of the greatest villains of all time…
Doctor Doom. And that can be a wonderful advantage or
a terrible curse… it all depends in how you approach
it.
|
|
August
2, 2015 |
|
You
truly believe that he’s a valid candidate, and can pull
the lever… check the box… do whatever needs to be done
in your particular setting for voting in an attempt
to have him move into the White House and be our elected
representative to the world?
Amazing.
|
|
August
2, 2015 |
|
In
other news, if you’re interested, some of these investigators
will be releasing articles next week explaining that
gamma rays aren’t likely to create massive rage issues,
ghosts aren’t likely to be busted with specialized backpacks,
and there are loopholes in time travel that likely make
it impossible with current technology.
|
|
August
2, 2015 |
|
Personally,
I’m not totally convinced that a commercial for a product
is really the definitive source of material I should
be using to decide what medication to use. It’s one
step short of the company that manufactures the drug
having the president or chairman of the board appear
at the end so they can tell us they approved the message.
|
|
April
28, 2015 |
|
OF
COURSE the show is going to be edited in a way
that favors Gordon. What the heck do some of these owners
and staff think? That they’re so amazingly special that
the producers are going to decide to make Ramsey look
like an ass while showcasing them in a bright, special
spotlight?
|
|
April
15, 2015 |
|
But
it’s not April Fool’s… not a Pat Paulsen filing of papers…
not being stated in a throw-away “sure, I’d like to
be President” fashion by someone.
|
|
April
14, 2015 |
|
I
have high hopes that we… meaning the vast majority of
us, and not those few that will claim to have told us
so later on… haven’t met the next President of the United
States yet. The trouble is… and I am so sorry for this
unfortunate likelihood… we probably have.
|
|
March
10, 2015 |
|
And
you can probably guess how excited and happy you can
be when given with an extra hour of driving on your
commute, after a long day at work and with dogs waiting
for you to get home, so you can go out of your way to
get a package that you arranged and paid to have shipped
to your door. Sure… it’s just lovely.
|
|
March
9, 2015 |
|
This
comes with the understanding, of course, that the larger
the state the more open land becomes involved, and the
chances of actually hitting something other than a cow
or sliding into a drainage ditch go down accordingly.
It’s one of those size of the state to obstacle in the
way inversely proportional ratio kind of things. This
also should not be confused with actually knowing how
to drive in bad weather. If you want to seem high comedy,
drop an inch of snow on the ground in Texas or Florida
and watch the hilarity that follows. They don’t know
how to do anything in the ice.
|
|
January
30, 2015 |
|
It’s
too quiet… and too noisy…
And
yes, it’s both at the same time.
I
miss the ticking of nails on the floors. I miss the
middle-of-the-night sleeping adjustments taking place
just beyond the foot of the bed. I miss the water bowl…
the snoring… every simple thing that is part of the
background noise in a home though normally quite unnoticed.
I
hear the furnace kicking on. I hear the walls creak
from the wind and temperature changes and other assorted
oddities outside. I hear the rain on the skylight. I
hear sounds, familiar and identified as well as unfamiliar
and strange. I hear the furnace turning off.
|
|
January
17, 2015 |
|
The
bounding bundle of joy was an absolute pleasure. And
then she did something beyond remarkable. A woman came
near with a stroller. The puppy went over to investigate.
She dipped her head under the stroller’s canopy and
the most wonderful laughter filled the air… an absolutely
delightful wave of giggles.
A
St. Bernard puppy had endeared herself to a baby and
won our hearts. Molly came home with us.
|
|
January
13, 2015 |
|
He
was, from the moment we first saw him, amazing. In his
own, special way, he was plodding, methodical, and thoughtful.
He had a way of being undeniably, and ever so simply,
Gus. He was there… and in your face… and always looking
to be a part of the group. And was he ever a St. Bernard.
|
|
September
13, 2014 |
|
Reserved
for the employee of the month… that’s a good one. A
business near me is open at least twelve hours each
day over all seven days of the week. They currently
have ninety-three hours of reserved parking status for
an employee that likely works forty. (And I won’t make
any jokes here about how most business are only hiring
part-time. That’s just not funny.) In short, you’re
more likely to see that space empty than filled.
|
|
September
3, 2014 |
|
One
day a few weeks ago I was sending a text message to
a friend… autocorrect updated something, and it updated
it in a spectacularly idiotic fashion. Like many of
you, I’m sure, I noticed the error after hitting send,
and immediately decided to follow up with a simple message…
|
|
April
25, 2014 |
|
Abbey
Road… Led Zeppelin IV… go ahead and select
what you believe is one be the greatest albums of all
time. In short, a Starry Night of music. If
the original recordings were ever authenticated and
sold, chances are we could quickly come up with a list
of musical masterpieces where the master recordings
would be worth millions upon millions (upon many more
millions) of dollars.
|
|
April
23, 2014 |
|
Eventually
I drove over to a local repair place that specialized
in tractors and other equipment… and, you know, just
so happened to be an authorized dealer of the particular
company that made my snow blower. I knew where they
were because I had taken their efforts into account
when selecting the snow blower we purchased. Within
thirty seconds of opening the front door, we had not
only laughed about the web site and physical store that
had been no help, we also had two packages of the perfect
shear pins on the counter in front of me to purchase.
|
|
April
23, 2014 |
|
It starts
with what I can only describe as a tremendous quote…
Tremendous
in its stupidity… tremendous in its ignorance… tremendous
in its identifying of an idiot… and yet… he’ll probably
get re-elected.
|
|
March
17, 2014 |
|
I
find I always do my best writing, unfortunately for
both you and me, when I am far away from pen, paper
or computer. It generally takes place when I am walking
with my dogs, when I’m in the shower, or when I’m driving
my car. Things like that. So when I participated recently
in National Novel Writing Month, I spent lots of time
talking out loud, to myself, about sections that I wanted
to write. Very rarely did the words on paper reach the
level of quality I believe I achieved when cruising
along on the highway. I should also point out that my
dogs didn’t offer as much critical support as I had
hoped for.
|
From
the Backpack ~ Originally posted January 14, 2004 |
|
February
7, 2014 |
|
My
first computer though was a Tandy. Again… it’s a generational
thing. Many people can note Tandy as a brand the same
way others recall Commodore 64… Atari or Intellivision…
and the names change but the beat goes on. I believe,
to be technical, it was the TRS-80 Color model. And,
to really stretch the imaginations for some of you…
many of the games for it involved attaching a cassette
player to the computer.
|
|
January
2, 2014 |
|
Initially
it seemed like a terrific observation. It was a fantastic
concept. It was -- let’s face it… to the brilliant mind,
awake at 4am and settling in from work with a Nintendo
controller in my hands and a Labrador asleep on the
couch -- a brilliant theory. Inarguable in
its sensibility and meaning.
|
|
December
5, 2013 |
|
We
live in a world where common sense isn’t all that common.
And that’s a frightening enough thought to begin with.
But beyond the general polite possibilities, for purposes
of this situation that means you simply cannot always
believe permission is universally granted or justified.
Believing otherwise is more a sense of entitlement that
quite often is not only undeserved, it is dynamically
and incredibly undeserved.
|
|
November
30, 2013 |
|
There
is a plastic Santa Claus face that occasionally makes
an appearance on the house I grew up in. My Dad got
it. Not sure where. But if he was given it for free,
he paid too much. And it became the punchline of many
jokes. Many, many, many jokes. Until the year
he decided not to bring it upstairs. And then everyone
wanted to know where it was.
|
2013
National Novel Writing Month effort |
|
November
29, 2013 |
|
The
problem I have is when a startling lack of creativity
seems to be involved. Not just for the sake of a money
grab… even that I can appreciate. When a movie is made
for $10 million… $20 million… $30 million and brings
back something around $80 million, I think you at least
owe a nod of appreciation to the fact that jobs were
created and an attempt was made in an industry that
is catering to big investments made on the hopes of
bigger returns.
|
2013
National Novel Writing Month effort |
|
November
28, 2013 |
|
Now
we never pushed the term whatchamacallit or doohickey
or oneofthosethings very far. And yes, I still ask if
anyone knows where the boofer is while I’m searching
bookshelves and sofa cushions. The thing is… the general
concept of these ideas falls in line with the name thing.
Boofer caught on and stuck with me. Oneofthosethings
may not have stuck with me in frequent use, but when
I hear that term, or whatchamacallit, I remember a bus
ride one summer to Arkansas. (And now, roughly twenty
years later, I can smile about it.)
|
2013
National Novel Writing Month effort |
|
November
27, 2013 |
|
The
second half of my journey to work involves some back
roads. And my hope has become simple… get to work. That’s
kind of a stabilizing idea. Being at work does nothing
for me and my ultimate problem. It’s in exactly the
opposite direction of the service station we use for
our automotive needs. But it will be dry and warm and
there is food there. (You know… pretty much the exact
opposite of a rainy day on a back road in the middle
of nowhere once the battery and electrical systems of
your car go kaput.)
|
2013
National Novel Writing Month effort |
|
November
26, 2013 |
|
Several
years ago, on my web site, I made a joke about Tomb
Raider: The Cradle of Life. As I recall, when the
numbers began rolling in during opening weekend, the
heads of the studio immediately began blaming poor box
office returns on an underwhelming video game that had
been released a few weeks ahead of the film. The joke
was based on the idea that it was quite possible (and,
in my mind, far more likely) that more of the problem
with ticket sales for Tomb Raider: The Cradle of
Life was that the film was pretty bad.
|
2013
National Novel Writing Month effort |
|
November
24, 2013 |
|
Oh,
and are dogs ever good at distracting a writer. You
know how a superhero has a sidekick? Well, dogs are
wonderful at finding a spot in the office… a chair in
the corner to climb on, a section of floor near the
feet to curl up in… and joining in for an afternoon
of writing. They can be an amazing sidekick for a writer.
|
2013
National Novel Writing Month effort |
|
November
23, 2013 |
|
Over
this time, we have met some incredible people and learned
an amazing amount about the secret world of craft and
vendor fairs. Some things we already had a feel for
and opinions about… and some were lessons to us that
you really only learn by doing multiple events, in a
variety of settings, while working with different people.
And I thought I’d take a few moments to share some of
the secrets with you…
|
2013
National Novel Writing Month effort |
|
November
22, 2013 |
|
You
begin waving to those neighbors you see regularly. Occasionally
you stop and say hello. (Oh yeah… and you also learn
that anyone under the age of about twenty is fascinated
with petting a St. Bernard. (And if you happen to be
walking two of them… well… it turns out that every
person walking nearby stops and asks questions of people
that are walking with two St. Bernards. And Molly LOVES
this attention.)) In
short, you begin to see more of the picture surrounding
your nest, and the smaller details become significantly
more noticeable.
|
2013
National Novel Writing Month effort |
|
November
21, 2013 |
|
I
understand there are reasons… as there may be for just
about any business… to be critical of Walmart. In this
case though, it seemed to me that these critics had
picked up the fundraiser story and tried to define it
to fit their own purposes without a care as to what
it truly represented.
|
2013
National Novel Writing Month effort |
|
November
20, 2013 |
|
And
the Magic Kingdom? Well… the two Universal theme parks
of Islands of Adventure and Universal Studios Orlando
combined don’t reach what the Magic Kingdom
does each year on its own. Disney World’s original park
regularly clears 17 million guests, and could conceivably
approach 18 million as the new Fanstasyland is mostly
open and nears its completion in 2014.
|
2013
National Novel Writing Month effort |
|
November
19, 2013 |
|
When
I was in college, my grandmother used to stay in contact
with me by mail. This was pretty much an age of no e-mail…
long distance charges for phone calls that had you considering
whether or not to make a call (and how long to stay
on the line when you did)… and sending a letter from
one side of the country to the other would run you about
a quarter. Nana would take her copy of our hometown
paper, clip out comics and articles by columnists she
knew I read regularly, and then place them in an envelope
along with a letter. A few days later, the care package
envelope would arrive at my dorm.
|
2013
National Novel Writing Month effort |
|
November
18, 2013 |
|
I
like polar bears. I think I’d kind of enjoy seeing a
dodo. I was actually sad and a bit scared to learn about
the fate of the Yangtze river dolphin (studied in Last
Chance to See, and now if not truly extinct, it
is believed that any remaining would not be able to
revive the numbers of the species). I don’t like thinking
of extinction on any level.
|
2013
National Novel Writing Month effort |
|
November
17, 2013 |
|
You
can be awesome at playing Scrabble. But when all you
have are the low value tiles… and the words aren’t lining
up for parallel-tandem-double word plays… and the bonus
squares aren’t close enough when you do have higher-point
tiles… and your opponent keeps drawing “S” after “S”
after blank tiles… well… being awesome isn’t always
enough.
|
2013
National Novel Writing Month effort |
|
November
16, 2013 |
|
What
isn’t hard to see is that fall themes and decorating
are now at a level to rival any of the seasons or holidays.
You are as likely to see inflatable ghosts and cornucopias
in October and November as you are to see an inflatable
Santa in December. By no means am I suggesting that
these holidays have overtaken (or can even approach)
Christmas in terms of scope, hype, hysteria or monetary
measures. But, when you reach a point where Christmas
overload is a real thing, inflating a giant turkey on
your lawn while stringing up witch-themed exterior lights
around the windows are nice touches by those looking
to exploit our mass consumerism in a new way.
|
2013
National Novel Writing Month effort |
|
November
15, 2013 |
|
In
fact, the women I asked pretty much also unanimously
agreed that “she’s crazy”… the actual responses I’ll
omit here since we want to maintain a polite atmosphere…
and in a collective discussion that developed during
a slow afternoon at work, they added that they felt
she was giving women a bad name. Since my intent was
a kind gesture, they believed the problem with opening
the door was hers and not mine… and that effectively
she in turn was guilty of exactly what she
was accusing me of doing.
|
2013
National Novel Writing Month effort |
|
November
14, 2013 |
|
I
bring these exchanges into this because, let’s face
it -- EVERY marriage is different. And yet
Marie has a fairly nice summary to offer. There is humor
to be found in all marriages. There are ups and downs.
It is an emotional roller coaster. And yet the key for
happiness and success in one marriage could very well
be the key to the car that will drive over the edge
of a cliff and figure heavily in the murder trial for
another.
|
2013
National Novel Writing Month effort |
|
November
13, 2013 |
|
Someday
soon you may find yourself orbiting Jupiter… pulled
over at a rest area near Neptune… frequenting a bar
several light years away. And you run into Han Solo
or Arthur Dent or the three-breasted woman from Total
Recall and decide you want to buy them a drink.
But oh no! This Jupiter moon base doesn’t take American
Express.
|
2013
National Novel Writing Month effort |
|
November
12, 2013 |
|
Recently
Tigg and I traveled to the state of Washington. We ventured
out for a few days to the San Juan Islands. And while
on San Juan Island in the San Juan Islands, from the
moment we were driving off of the ferry, I had the fun
of watching my GPS not recognize the island as part
of the continental United States. I also had the pleasure
of watching my phone… as we drove to different portions
of the island… tell me we were supposedly inching awfully
close to Canadian soil.
|
2013
National Novel Writing Month effort |
|
November
11, 2013 |
|
We
can debate the exceptions to the rule… the couples where
both love camping, both love sports, and, though I have
yet to be able to have it officially verified, I suppose
it’s even possible there are relationships where both
people love cats. But they are exceptions. So why is
“a happy wife, a happy life” the expression?
|
2013
National Novel Writing Month effort |
|
November
10, 2013 |
|
I
have… on multiple occasions… been standing next to Terry
on a particular day. And on that day, we need to run
an errand. And she will suggest getting lunch and maybe
seeing a movie while we’re out running that errand.
And somehow, she feels that even though it is noon as
she suggests all this, we can get back to our house
by 3pm.
|
2013
National Novel Writing Month effort |
|
November
9, 2013 |
|
I
don’t crave them in the true sense of the word or situation.
Not like some people are looking for a bag of chips
or an ice cold beer… not like those days when you just
know exactly what you want for dinner and only Italian
food will do (or, insert your own craving here). Not
even like when you know you need candy, and the result
had better involve peanut butter and chocolate in the
answer.
|
2013
National Novel Writing Month effort |
|
November
8, 2013 |
|
It
might be the activities of fireflies at night… a vine
wrapping itself around a fence… or even the grass growing.
The basic premise is simple enough… when you are paying
attention to events that are part of planting your garden,
you tend to notice more of the world around you.
|
2013
National Novel Writing Month effort |
|
November
7, 2013 |
|
Hey…
we’ve all seen the letter -- “Your mother does not work
here. Please clean up after yourself.” Someone gets
fed up, fires off the head’s up from a printer, posts
it, and everyone gets a laugh out of it. A laugh? Sure…
because the people posting it are more or less just
as ignorant as the blockheads that put an empty pot
back on a hot burner.
|
2013
National Novel Writing Month effort |
|
November
6, 2013 |
|
As
many have joked over the years, the wheels on the plane
hit the runway at the same time for first class seats
as they do for the lower fare regions of the plane.
You can certainly enjoy a trip based on pancakes made
in the hotel room and pizzas just as much as you could
spending hundreds per person at the most expensive of
restaurants. And there is absolutely zero guarantee
that plans will go as, well, planned.
|
2013
National Novel Writing Month effort |
|
November
5, 2013 |
|
Take
a look at television. If you watch it for an hour, I
guarantee you that… without changing the channel, and
by watching the commercials… you’ll see that: (1) There
is something wrong with you. And, there is a drug for
it. (2) It isn’t your fault. Whatever “it” may be. And,
there’s a lawsuit for it.
|
2013
National Novel Writing Month effort |
|
November
4, 2013 |
|
And
when we do notice… the shell game is on. Everything
is in a constant state of new and improved. So these
changes and adjustments and, frankly, ways of misdirecting
or confusing the consumer, end up being turned around
into a (my words) “it’s not us, it’s you” accusation.
And honestly, when you step out of the environment and
view it, it’s like watching Martin Short bring Nathan
Thurm to life.
|
2013
National Novel Writing Month effort |
|
November
3, 2013 |
|
Within
minutes… no, make that seconds… she had reclaimed
my profile picture, asked about a shot she wanted for
her cover photo of both of us, and was on her way making
some initial friend requests. Within hours, she had
raced past ninety friends and was cruising to one hundred
and beyond. I wasn’t logging in for her again, so I
have no clue what requests, messages, or other surprises
awaited her next visit.
|
2013
National Novel Writing Month effort |
|
November
1, 2013 |
|
Obviously
though, when it comes to the electronic age, we can’t
afford to be naïve. E-mails from sources you don’t
recognize are not to be trusted. Never use the links or
attachments, or even respond to them. Let’s just get that
stated out in the open… because I’m going to slightly
swim against the flow of responsible, appropriate thinking
for a moment.
|
2013
National Novel Writing Month effort |
|
October
31, 2013 |
|
I
must admit though, any time candy corn is offered in
a social setting, I take a few pieces. It’s a trick
though. It’s always a trick. One of those faulty logic
moments where the lessons of yesterday fade, memories
fail, and hope blossoms. One of those moments where
I accept the candy corn, and by doing so I’m forgetting
the disappointments of yesterday and preparing to enjoy
a special treat. After all… I like candy! What I’m left
with, along with a flood of returning memories, is the
realization that I don’t like candy corn.
|
|
October
16, 2013 |
|
This
shutdown… this threat of default… is amazingly pointless.
And even if it does end before a default… instead of
using energy to make things better, get stronger, and
improve, resources will need to be directed at recovering,
getting back up to speed after the brakes were applied.
And those investments of resources will never fully
cover the damages resulting from the process of shutting
down and starting up again.
|
|
May
16, 2013 |
|
Many
aspects of it, for some, can be pretty interesting.
After all… what people have the most power on Facebook,
Twitter, or other platforms for gaining participation
or spreading messages? And if you were asked to come
up with a color or a girl’s name -- using a foreign
language and no letter “e” -- would you be able to?
|
|
May
11, 2013 |
|
News
stations are broadcasting reports live from a corner
convenience store on the last minute rush for tickets
… newspapers are discussing how the taxes created by
a big winner will help the state… online sources are
interviewing people that tell you the top ten things
to do with your winnings (or the top ten mistakes to
avoid)… and everyone is attempting to find special angles
for the stories of joys and horrors, while continuously
asking what members of the audience might do if one
of them won.
|
|
March
17, 2013 |
|
But
three or four (or eight (or more)) years later someone
mentions that they’re heading in to Providence for a
meeting… or to do some shopping… or just to get lunch
someplace different… and hey, would you like to go to
The Arcade? And since you can’t recall anything bad
about the place… heck, you can’t recall anything
about the place… you figure that it sounds like a great
idea to check it out again and you go.
|
From
the Backpack ~ Originally posted January 22, 2008 |
|
March
10, 2013 |
|
I
attended a presentation by Frank Zappa once. It was
while I was at college and he made the absolutely stunningly
brilliant observation that none of us were there to
learn our occupation. We were there to learn how to
learn.
|
From
the Backpack ~ Originally posted September 16, 2007 |
|
March
3, 2013 |
|
When
it comes to my opinion on them, you will find me solidly
in the “waste of time” camp. But I don’t consider myself
an aggressive member of that camp. I just hit delete.
Don’t even read them. Once I recognize what they are
*poof* (delete).
|
From
the Backpack ~ Originally posted December 29, 2005 |
|
February
24, 2013 |
|
I
shouldn’t be so resistant to them. But please don’t
tell me that the new things are better when they don’t
do most of what the old things did. Please don’t tell
me things are improved when they still want to sell
me the old stuff too. And please don’t tell me things
have to be different when I’m pretty happy with the
way things are.
|
From
the Backpack ~ Originally posted January 12, 2005 |
|
February
17, 2013 |
|
In
any event, everything that I was told to focus on as
a child has, by one organization or another, been declared
bad for me. In fact the entire four food groups have
been replaced by a pyramid -- and commercials with baseball
legend Ozzie Smith telling me to eat just nine… nine…
servings of fruits and vegetables a day. Wow. Funny
thing, I have never heard anyone debate the old advice
of eating right and exercising. What is eating right
is open to debate… but still. Smaller portions, not
as many desserts, take a walk. Not a bad plan at all.
|
From
the Backpack ~ Originally posted July 1, 2004 |
|
February
10, 2013 |
|
Let’s
get this whole thing understood from the beginning…
these people celebrating groundhogs as prognosticators
of winter… they are different than you and I. Perhaps
best summed up best by the old cliché “ignorance
is bliss,” I had lived under the assumption that only
in Pennsylvania would thousands upon thousands of people
plan a celebration of winter in February. I was wrong.
They do celebrate with Punxsutawney Phil of Gobbler’s
Knob, Pennsylvania. They also celebrate with Buckeye
Chuck in Marion, Ohio. And it goes way, way, way beyond
these big two. They celebrate with groundhogs and… according
to at least one internet site… they celebrate with chickens
and llamas.
|
From
the Backpack ~ Originally posted February 4, 2004 |
|
February
10, 2013 |
|
And
there I was, several days before the game, in the basement
placing twenty-four bottles of four different types
of beer into a refrigerator. On the Monday morning after
the game, I was back at that same refrigerator in the
basement, putting away twenty-seven bottles.
To be honest, I have no clue what that says about your
Super Bowl party when you actually finish with more
beer than you started with. I know what it meant in
college.
|
From
the Backpack ~ Originally posted February 6, 2004 |
|
February
10, 2013 |
|
It
stands to reason that there is something in virtually
every frame of that movie that we, as an audience almost
seventy years removed from its debut, are missing. Perhaps
caricatures of certain people. The presence of certain
types of furniture. Maybe a rabbit or a bird or a deer
happened to be the favorite animal of the daughter of
one of the animators drawing a scene of Snow White out
in the woods. Maybe that same little girl liked to wear
blue and red and yellow.
|
From
the Backpack ~ Originally posted March 30, 2006 |
|
February
3, 2013 |
|
When
I was younger we had the four food groups. Unbelievably,
I’m showing my age by admitting that. It was easy… dairy,
fruits and vegetables, meats, and grains. In the roughly
twenty-plus-years since elementary school and junior
high school, three of those four groups have been quite
vocally declared bad for me. Cheese and whole milk were
the true first casualties in the four-food-group-reorganization
as I recall. I will only go down to 2% before I start
kicking and screaming. I firmly believe that skim and
1% tastes and looks like poorly filtered water. And
cheese was… well… I’ve been told, the equivalent of
bacon as far as my arteries were concerned.
|
From
the Backpack ~ Originally posted February 10, 2004 |
|
February
3, 2013 |
|
My
history exam was divided into two parts that semester,
a multiple choice test and an essay. These were administered
in separate sessions. I scored a 90 on the test portion
and thought I was doing alright… and then I got the
essay back. It was graded a 39. A
39 on an essay. A numerical grade on a high school mid-term
essay. I mean really… numerically grading an essay aside...
how do you arrive at a 39 when grading an essay? Well...
I’ll tell you how…
|
From
the Backpack ~ Originally posted February 1, 2006 |
|
January
12, 2013 |
|
Ten
dollars might be a movie… a hat… a stuffed animal… a
puppy! Ten dollars might be a puppy! And as adults we
shake our heads and smile. Because even if that ten
dollars could be a puppy, the reality is it won’t be
a video game AND a toy AND a movie AND a hat AND a stuffed
animal AND a puppy.
|
|
January
12, 2013 |
|
I
won’t mention the place by name. (Oh I’ll probably type
the franchise name into this article a few times. Once
or twice it might even be in that humorous way of saying
something where you almost wink while slipping the details
out there ever so innocently. Then I’ll laugh, debate
erasing it, and finally remove it. Every time I give
one of their locations a shot though, they disappoint
me -- at their best I find their meals decent but no
better. Still, they don’t deserve to be named because
of the problems on one night in one restaurant. Right?)
|
|
January
1, 2013 |
|
So
here we are… the end of another calendar year. People
will celebrate -- perhaps looking back at 2012 with
fondness, and perhaps looking back with disgust -- but
overall, no matter how it is recalled, this one promises
to be one of those with difficult to find and likely
misplaced memories.
|
|
November
8, 2012 |
|
We
should have seen this coming. Right? I mean, in all
honesty, Mitt Romney wasn’t even close to winning. It
was a media event… as tired and overhyped as the Democracy
Plaza setting we were repeatedly introduced to over
and over (and over) again.
|
|
August
1, 2012 |
|
I’ve
seen this statistic provided… with roughly the same
numbers… for a few different countries, and it turns
out that the description of people being caught on closed-circuit
cameras hundreds of times a day not only seems unrealistic,
it likely is unrealistic and just urban-legend being
told again and again. Still, get this one: “the real
figure for the number of times the average person is
likely to be ‘caught’ on CCTV in a day is less than
70.”
|
|
July
21, 2012 |
|
The
first excuse is that once washed a few times, the towels
will be fine. And this is just a flat out lie. The strange
thing though, is that I don’t mind this one. It’s an
attempt to get me to be quiet. I get it. But the reality
of the situation is simple… for a few runs through the
laundry, the lint filter gets quite the workout… when
it comes to drying a person off however, the towels
-- after one trip through the washer or fifty -- continue
to work about as well as a sheet of Saran Wrap.
|
|
June
16, 2012 |
|
On
this soda bottle in front of me, there is a division.
Much like Ben & Jerry’s wants to pretend there are
four servings in a pint of their ice cream, this soda
bottle has information about what to expect from a single
serving as well as the two and a half servings the full
bottle contains. Get this… In
one serving… 8-ounces… there are 110 calories. And,
naturally, in two-and-a-half servings… the 20-ounces
of the bottle… there are, of course, 275 calories.
|
|
April
25, 2012 |
|
Soon
after, he began noticing that he never saw any posts
from her. Nothing. And the reason he noticed this was
that every day her name popped up in those wonderful
game invitation announcements. When we talked he said
he was debating pulling her friendship status. (Yes…
the dreaded unfriending.) But the funny thing was, he
had been considering it for months and just couldn’t
do it. She wasn’t hurting anything that he could see…
just creating game messages… and there was still that
gut-instinct kind of feeling he had, created by her
connection to other friends of his. More than four dozen
people were friends-in-common between him and her.
|
|
April
25, 2012 |
|
Person
A is mad that Person B didn’t… voice an opinion… make
a donation… take a stand… whatever, fill-in-the-blank…
to support a certain, for lack of a better definition,
a certain cause. And make no mistake… the charge is
clear that Person A believes Person B had an obligation
to act… a responsibility to act. And it almost
seems that the lack of effort is arguably more important
to Person A than the cause itself.
|
|
April
25, 2012 |
|
I
was reading an article the other day that was going
over the latest and greatest fees being considered…
tested… evaluated… debated… by different banks. And
in that article, I saw a very discouraging thought.
I’ll paraphrase it here… and not even link to it… because
it’s actually general enough even in this simple context
that I think we can all appreciate it. Ready? Banks
are businesses.
|
|
February
1, 2012 |
|
Now
when I say “unqualified idiots” you have to understand…
I honestly feel that most of the people best suited
to lead our country are either too smart or making too
much money to even be remotely interested in political
office. (Often they’re both.) In essence… we’re not
getting the best to represent us in our government,
we’re getting people that managed to fill out some forms
correctly. (And they don’t always manage accomplishing
that.)
|
|
January
1, 2012 |
|
In
the Eighteenth Century… Drury Lane was the high point
of culture. I hear there might have been some theater.
That means culture. Right? (Ok… from what I found, it
was not exactly the high point. It was a downtrodden
area filled with alcohol and prostitutes.)
|
A
Backpack Special ~ Originally written for National Novel
Writing Month, November 2011 |
|
January
1, 2012 |
|
To
my knowledge, no one knew his name. He looked like any
of a number of cartoon characters you might think about.
And by that I mean if we picked some Looney Toons filler…
something in between a Bugs Bunny – Daffy Duck – Road
Runner set of episodes… and had someone down on their
luck and in a bar, we would arrive at a character resembling
Spare Change. Disheveled, needing a shave but not with
a beard, and not looking too fortunate with life. Hat?
Check. Heavy coat? Sure.
|
A
Backpack Special ~ Originally written for National Novel
Writing Month, November 2011 |
|
January
1, 2012 |
|
The
thought swirling around your head is simple: “When am
I ever going to need this stuff?” But let’s face it,
the reality is when it comes to setting up an educational
curriculum, the voices of a student or two rising up
against the books and tests for physics don’t exactly
receive warm welcome from the powers that be. And hey…
should they? We all know that a low percentage of us
will ever need to be able to calculate the results involving
mass and friction and a pair of sneakers. And yet we
all know an object in motion will stay in motion and
an object at rest will stay at rest and… well… ok, we
don’t all know those laws, but we do know the basics.
|
A
Backpack Special ~ Originally written for National Novel
Writing Month, November 2011 |
|
November
7, 2011 |
|
The
label… the word… that we are taught for sake of communication…
is sky. While the origin of the word might be fascinating,
it doesn’t change the physical entity. And if we have
an understanding with a different word, that could work
just as well. Heck, I could say “look at those chirpy
ankle biters”… and you could know what I mean, lifting
your head to see the fluffy white clouds.
|
|
November
5, 2011 |
|
I’d
like to tell you there’s some big amazing tale here.
But go read the story… it is every bit as wonderful
in detail as it is presented by a 12-word blurb.
|
|
November
5, 2011 |
|
I’m
pretty certain I haven’t fully collected on all of the
car washers and lawn mows and future chores promised
at that moment. And I fully recall violating the “this
one last thing” agreement we had a few days later on
that vacation. But what could I do? The scenario was
simply adorable and amazing and memorable… a true cherished
Disney memory for us… and $10 wasn’t going to break
me. I bought it.
|
|
November
5, 2011 |
|
We
could debate… we won’t though… whether there is some
merit in a situation where, for example, a parent has
no time to cook for a child and utilizing SNAP benefits
at a restaurant does provide a warm meal. Instead, I’ll
rest on this one with the idea that a well-planned shopping
list is far more likely to produce healthy eating than
a burger and fries handed out a drive-thru window.
|
|
October
5, 2011 |
|
The
problem with Friendly’s today is that it doesn’t do
anything great. It tries to do too much. It has changed
from what made it successful. As a result, I would argue
that they didn’t need to catch up with changing times…
instead, Friendly’s needed to continue being the place
for a great ice cream sundae.
|
|
October
1, 2011 |
|
The
guitar became the first item in a collection of rock
memorabilia and artifacts that now totals more than
70,000-pieces. So large is the inventory that it is
continuously displayed in 51 countries and has been
catalogued on-line with an interactive web site. In
fact, with more than 165 locations around the world,
the Hard Rock brand has become the name for
combining good food, great times, and treasured memorabilia.
Many of the items associated with the biggest moments
in the history of Rock and Roll are part of the Hard
Rock collection.
|
|
October
1, 2011 |
|
Did
you receive a message talking about money bags… and
how this October had five Fridays, five Saturdays and
five Sundays… and how it only happens every 800-plus
years… and how prosperity for all awaits in our future
if we pay attention? So did I.
|
|
September
5, 2011 |
|
I’m
not saying that things will get better because they
can’t get worse. Instead, I think we are at a point
where people are fed up… are annoyed at seeing the same
requests and self-serving leadership… and are definitely
noticing that the new so far isn’t that much different
than the old, and that for change to be made it has
to be more than a campaign slogan.
|
|
August
13, 2011 |
|
Yup…
bip… bop… freedom of information act request… boom…
the images supposedly obtained as part of a routine
procedure became part of public record. Maybe the plan
was to never use the images for anything else… maybe
the procedures were for nothing to be stored… just look
at the results and you see that best intentions or supposed-to-follow
just don’t matter. (And apparently turned into a music
video. Amazing.)
|
|
August
10, 2011 |
|
My
sister lives in Australia. And out in her yard, she
has discovered, is a lemon tree. This discovery was
made when, a short time ago, a lemon began growing on
the tree. So the tree itself may or may not be a fruit
tree… may or may not be an actual lemon tree… but in
the grandest tradition of waddling, quacking, and being
yellow… Lemon tree.
|
|
May
25, 2011 |
|
That
list creates an amazing, masterpiece of an album that
would stand as a singular crowning achievement for perhaps
98% (or maybe even an Ivory-pure 99.9%) of individuals
or bands that have ever recorded an album. If you walked
into a room with any singer or band, handed them the
track listing of Magical Mystery Tour, and
told them that the best album they would ever record
would be roughly the equivalent in quality of this material,
I believe just about every one you approached would
be happy and content with that thought. ((My words)
“For my best work, I’m going to produce something as
memorable as that collection? Where do I sign?”) But
for John, Paul, George and Ringo… eh.
|
|
April
30, 2011 |
|
A
gas station is located at an intersection, with little
else nearby. It’s a minimum of a half-mile in any direction
from that intersection to find a store, restaurant,
or any other place of business. Half-mile. Minimum.
We’re talking houses and lots of trees. Perhaps some
livestock. I would not be surprised if most of the residents
nearby allow pigs, goats, horses and such inside their
homes.
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April
27, 2011 |
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I
start with that description because the reality is very
simple: this sign is not an accident… not a suggestion…
and not a good idea. There was no mistake in the measurements.
There was no inside joke in its creation or production.
It is a sign that wants to pass along an absolutely
direct, do not even think for a second that you will
be able to challenge this in court, message. And that
message is that the speed limit is about to change.
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April
27, 2011 |
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One
afternoon I had decided to bake chocolate chip cookies.
From scratch. As I placed the first tray into the oven,
it dawned on me that I didn’t know where the timer was.
I knocked on the door to Mark’s room. “Hey, do we have
a timer?” I asked. “Do you have a watch?” Mark responded,
not even glancing up from the textbook that he was marking
on with a highlighter. “Yeah.” I looked down at my watch.
“It’s four-thirty. I’m making cookies. Do we have a
timer?”
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February
16, 2011 |
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For
example, it’s not that I don’t believe in global warming…
it’s just that so much of the evidence is presented
in ways that say there were times when the planet was
warmer. And those findings often include a disclaimer
that says it may have been warmer just a few thousand
years ago. What those findings don’t say is what kind
of cars the people were driving back then or what rates
their electric companies were charging them for their
fossil-fuel-driven-atmosphere-polluting service.
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February
16, 2011 |
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When
I was growing up I used to hear people say… and I’m
sure all of you heard this as well… either “there’s
no such thing as a stupid question” or “the only stupid
question is the one you don’t ask.” Well, they were
wrong. There are plenty of stupid questions.
Lots and lots and lots of them.
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From
the Backpack ~ Originally posted January 20, 2004 |
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February
16, 2011 |
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Once,
I needed a bulb replaced in a taillight. Another time
I experienced a problem with some fuses. What was the
charge these items? Nothing. At least not in the start.
In the end, for the mechanics to give me these parts
it probably cost the owner under ten dollars in expenses.
But, the trust and loyalty those little efforts instilled
in me brought me back time and again for thousands of
dollars in repairs and service.
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From
the Backpack ~ Originally posted March 18, 2003 |
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December
21, 2010 |
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The
debate of history, and the primary focus of that history
on religion… or why the date gained significance on,
at least, the calendars of the American government,
business world and educational system… is valid for
exploring and understanding. However, whether the use
of Christmas as the holiday… stress on THE
holiday… is right, wrong, misguided, offensive, ignorant,
insensitive or whatever else isn’t in any way, shape
or form valid in comprehending my wishes when I say
“Merry Christmas” to you.
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November
22, 2010 |
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The
idea that in some way, because parents are hesitating
in granting freedoms and responsibilities, it can, naturally,
only be because they don’t trust the child.
Three
weeks ago Tigg and I were involved in a situation that
only served to prove our point… it really isn’t exclusively
because of trust in the child. In fact, in many ways
it isn’t the child at all… it’s everyone else.
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From
the Backpack ~ Originally posted March 4, 2006 |
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November
22, 2010 |
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So
perhaps… long shot admittedly… they should check our
files. Maybe… just maybe… they actually already have
pictures and video of Ashley on file. Wouldn’t that
be incredible? Come on… what are the odds that a year
or two or four ago they were someplace and Ashley was
that same someplace and they already have photos and
videos of her boobies out in the open and her taking
off a thong and she’s even already been paid far less
than a million dollars… and heck… not only are the pictures
and videos paid for and ours, but we have even have
a signed release? What are those odds? Apparently… pretty
damn good.
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From
the Backpack ~ Originally posted April 19, 2008 |
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September
16, 2010 |
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The
Grand Canyon is in trouble. And the National Parks Conservation
Association wants us to know about it. Now… right off
the bat… I think it’s pretty fair to say that when the
“National Parks Conservation Association” is telling
you about a study that says the future and beauty of
a national park is in grave danger, you should consider
the source. I’m not saying they’re wrong… just that
they might have a set of pom-poms ready and a seat picked
out on one specific side as the big debate approaches.
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September
15, 2010 |
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I
mean… come on… seriously? Is there really someone so
dumb that they fell for this one? “I found your email
somewhere…” from a nice, pretty girl?
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September
15, 2010 |
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And
throughout all of these ideas… is a key theme that I
credit one of my dear friends for living and exemplifying
so well. See, he’s quite willing to spend more in order
to get what he wants. He knows exactly what he wants…
knows what he expects… and expects what he pays for.
And while he’ll cough up extra dollars, if he’s paying
more for something then he fully intends to see it delivered.
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July
26, 2010 |
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I’ve
been to web sites that are absolutely pointless. They
actually make me want to use a different company. One
time, when trying to get a part for a piece of equipment,
I literally couldn’t order it on-line. The company tried
to make me go in person to one of their stores… which
they said stocked the part, and of course, the store
did not. It was literally impossible for me to order
it from them. Which… naturally… was all the more ridiculous
since I bought the equipment from that store chain.
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June
1, 2010 |
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We’ve
all heard not only the stories of people seeing Jesus,
Mary and/or Joseph in an ice cube in a glass of water,
but also of the people that drove 750 or miles to see
that ice cube. Similar stories include grease stains
at diners, sandwiches, tree bark, mold, and the list
goes one and on (and on). Once we see cat marriages
and items like a holy grilled cheese on wheat, I think
it’s possible for us to agree that a stolen iconic statue
arriving as a tribute for the man that’s impossible
to shop for really isn’t such a reach.
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May
29, 2010 |
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Seriously…
stick a pipe into the pipe and suck up the oil? Christ,
there are more steps to follow when cleaning up a broken
CFL bulb so you properly handle the disposal of mercury.
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April
5, 2010 |
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We
get to this pizza and soda tax. And a portion of the
story is health benefits. We’re going to tax pizza…
and less people will buy pizza… so people will be eating
healthier. Everyone wins! Eat unhealthy… pay more… the
only losers are unhealthy, pizza-eating smokers. (And
who cares about them?)
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April
5, 2010 |
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A
simple, basic approach… without much digging or research…
says that the money has to come from some place. It
could be door number one… door number two… or door number
three. The one thing that’s certain in my mind though
is that the government… in claiming we’re going to save
money doing this… simply hasn’t revealed which door
involves us reaching for our wallets.
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April
5, 2010 |
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So
let’s ask this… and keep Central Falls in mind… where
does responsibility come in to play? In other words…
is it the fault of a good teacher when a bad student
doesn’t learn? …is part of being a good teacher connecting
with the students regardless of circumstances? …do the
abilities and efforts of the students play any role
in this puzzle?Where
we go with this basic idea is simple… are the results
because of poor teaching, poor students, or a combination?
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February
26, 2010 |
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I
remember a place that in the middle of a city was all
alone. Once, Slater Park was in Pawtucket, but Pawtucket
was not in Slater Park. As I drove in for a visit one
day, the setting of trees became more dominating as
the traffic along the main road moved further behind.
To the right, a pond was shimmering in the glow of the
sun. The zoo had an entrance up and off to the left,
just beyond the World War II gun that pointed back toward
the ducks and geese which surrounded the gazebo at the
pond’s distant end.
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From
the Backpack ~ Originally posted July 23, 2003 |
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February
26, 2010 |
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I
mean seriously. Women. Clean my closet? That’s what
she got out of my wet sock? If her socks were wet, I
would sympathize. I wouldn’t ask about her other shoes.
Wouldn’t try to make her foolish for wearing a shoe
with a hole. Heck, I don’t make fun of the nylons with
holes. Do I? No. And, of course, a wet sock wouldn’t
happen to her since I’m willing to drop her off at the
door. Am I right guys? Umm… ok… moving on…
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February
26, 2010 |
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Remember
a year ago when all of those companies were getting
support? Financial bracing… bailouts. Remember? And
then came the hammer… when reporters sunk their teeth
into corporate retreats… taking private planes when
the company manufactures cars… bonuses still being paid…
and all the excesses. Can’t be giving a company billions
of money to get their affairs in order when a month
from now they have three floors of a Vegas hotel rented
out for a week… pardon me, the joke is too easy… a week
in order to have their affairs.
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January
23, 2010 |
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I’m
not here to complain about cell phones. Nor do I plan
to tell you I’m mad because several songs I’d like to
own are only available via internet download… and I’ve
never done that. That’s just the world moving on. That’s
just the differences between the world today and the
world when I was born, and it will continue. A great
concept from Men of a Certain Age sums up the
reality quite nicely: 100 years from now, same game,
same challenges, all new people.
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January
23, 2010 |
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The
end result is that each and every one of us needs to
be more aware of our actions and how those actions impact
the environment around us. We need to be cleaner… we
need to reduce the amount of waste we generate… and
we need to recycle what we can to be used again. That’s
not science… that’s common sense. (Amazing… no years
of study or government grants required! We treat the
planet badly, case closed.)
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January
6, 2010 |
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I
would have gladly spent a few hours in that store. (The
guy in the music section of the store looked exactly
like Big John Wallace… but I never got to approach him…
so I don’t know.) And along the road in Littleton there
were other locations to browse, and 12-string guitars
to sigh over… boys to pick up… moose to see. Had to
move on. But I will be back. The Village Book Store
will see me again. And I hope that one day you get a
chance to wander through the doors of the store and
find out what it means to be a valued customer.
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From
the Backpack ~ Originally posted March 3, 2007 |
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January
6, 2010 |
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Heck…
I’m still going crazy with Molly, our St. Bernard puppy.
She’s cute and adorable and all… but also a royal pain
in the tush when Justin wakes up in the morning, turns
on the light in the hall and lets her know someone else
is awake that she could be playing with instead of sleeping
in her kennel at the end of my bed.
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From
the Backpack ~ Originally posted March 5, 2007 |
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December
31, 2009 |
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But
did you see the deeper idea? The out-of-the-box idea…
one that falls right in line with the questions I usually
find myself asking about all sorts of subjects… is about
burning wood. But you have to follow the story to the
next phase.
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December
24, 2009 |
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I
rarely use my cell phone. I’m not scared of it. I just
more or less subscribe to the theory that when I’m driving
my car or taking a walk or in some way just happen to
not be sitting next to a phone, it’s ok that you can’t
get in touch with me.
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December
23, 2009 |
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“Jesus
seen in” will bring you to links claiming Jesus has
appeared on toast, a grilled cheese sandwich, the plate
of an iron, grease in a frying pan, and on an ultrasound.
In fact… now get this one… the ultrasound and toast
were listed well before results that referenced people
looking for Jesus in their daily lives. Seriously… use
my search words, “Jesus seen in”… and note that I didn’t
ask for strange places or a sighting of his image. I
asked where he had been seen. I asked for “Jesus seen
in” and Google told me grilled cheese sandwiches.
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December
19, 2009 |
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The
tendency these days is simple to see. Once we have the
information to establish contact… an e-mail address…
a phone number plugged into the cell phone… we stop.
Why bother to have a street address when you have a
web site you can head to? Seriously. How many times
do you address a letter to a person these days?
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December
18, 2009 |
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I
gave this pecan roll thing a lot of thought. I happen
to be thankful for the pearl onions on the table. Don’t
see them often during the year… so they’re a nice little
change, and I’m always looking for them when it’s time
to make sandwiches later. Terry and Mom like turnips.
And canned corn has caused quite a few spirited debates.
(Yuck is the word that comes to mind. But some day I’ll
pass on the great canned corn Thanksgiving horror story
to you. Good stuff.) But after all consideration was
given, I feel extremely comfortable in saying that if
I polled the family, Mom’s pecan rolls would be the
most noted item that is required on our holiday tables.
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November
24, 2009 |
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In
the song “I wonder what would happen to this world”
Chapin asks the listener to picture a world where every
individual tried to accomplish everything they were
capable of achieving... in the end, what Chapin in his
casual comments truly seems to be recognizing is, that
beyond wealth, race, age, or any other defining classification,
it is the individual and the contributions made to the
world that makes the difference. Is the world better
because this person is here than it would be if this
person weren’t?
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From
the Backpack ~ Originally posted October 21, 2003 |
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September
24, 2009 |
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In
my office, directly above the monitor to my computer
is a small mouse. It’s made up of a flat rock, some
felt for ears and a tail, and tiny buttons for a nose.
The whiskers have long since melted off. For Christmas
every year, my parents would give the kids a few dollars
to shop for presents. It became quite the chore. You
had to be economical, and you really tried to find something
people would “ooh” and “aah” over on Christmas morning.
Once at a church bazaar, I spotted this very mouse on
a table. I couldn’t tell you the reason why, but it
seemed perfect for Nana and a bargain at twenty-five
cents.
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From
the Backpack ~ Originally posted June 29, 2003 |
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September
20, 2009 |
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Joe
walked through a side door and entered the room. But
this was not the same Joe Bonamassa that we had met
earlier. The sunglasses were on. The t-shirt had been
replaced by a dress shirt of a style that many fans
are familiar with. And there was a confidence… a presence
that wasn’t the same. I can’t say that he seemed taller
to me, but he was definitely in control.
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From
the Backpack ~ Originally posted May 7, 2006 |
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August
22, 2009 |
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These
people are claiming that the release of the convict
was sensible, compassionate and just. And, simply put,
for those of us that disagree, they would say it is
beyond our capacity of forgiveness to understand.
But these very same people show no class, no respect,
and no compassion when celebrating the convict’s return
as a welcoming of a hero. Ultimately, they demonstrate
nothing worthy of forgiveness.Those
screaming for compassion are, themselves, incapable
of compassion.
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August
20, 2009 |
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If
you were going in to a bar where you felt you needed
a gun for protection, chances are you have a disconnect
in your brain. Because that urge to carry the gun for
protection into the bar should be a huge clue that you
really don’t need to be in that bar with a gun to begin
with. It’s a trouble-waiting-to-happen scenario.
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August
20, 2009 |
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Now…
combine these two ideas and we can support three interesting
things. First, the administration seems to be in love
with acting as quickly as possible, and apparently doesn’t
consider the long term repercussions or all possibilities.
Second, the administration, even when they get something
out there that looks like a success, is ticking off
tons of people because of problems and unexpected collateral
damage (that may ultimately destroy the success). And
third, when questioned on any of it, the response is
getting louder: (my words again, but honestly, tell
me you haven’t heard them in some form) “Hey… whoa…
not my fault… just cleaning up the mess.”
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August
7, 2009 |
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When
I was younger and played outside, there was no such
thing as bottled water. Not in the current sense of
the concept. We drank from the hose… the same hose we
had just picked up off of the ground… the same hose
we chided one friend for putting his lips against… used
for filling the pool and watering the garden…
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July
22, 2009 |
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After
so much time of not being able to move stuff from one
house to another… or borrowing a van from my parents
or a truck from a generous set of in-laws… and in essence
asking for favors, we had begun kicking around the thought
of adding a car. Didn’t have to be a new one. Didn’t
even need to be a car. In fact… we preferred it wasn’t.
We wanted something that would haul cargo or larger
items. We wanted something that wasn’t the primary source
of transportation, believing its role was to be a tool...
She wants a pickup... I
don’t.
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July
11, 2009 |
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Someone
spots a cause… everyone agrees that the cause matters…
and so a group decides that something has to be done
because we can’t just allow the night to fall while
doing nothing. The problem is that while doing nothing
overall is not the answer in virtually all of these
crisis scenarios, momentarily doing nothing while looking
over options and considering ramifications of actions
usually does less damage than the initial something
that was rushed into.
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July
10, 2009 |
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This
particular girl would eventually take over spot number
two on the list of “Reasons why every girl named Jennifer
should be avoided at all costs” in my life. Face it…
we all have a name that we should avoid… due to experiences
with one person or several. Jennifer is that name for
me. And considering legendary tales… “The Work Christmas
Party of 1992” and “Hey, there’s a pool table in this
basement”… there are two things that I will never be
able to overcome and should just simply accept: (1)
This particular Jennifer honestly should be number one
on my list of reasons to avoid every Jennifer in the
world. (2) That particular Christmas party, and how
I behaved, should have earned me instant sainthood as
well as sap-of-the-decade honors.
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April
18, 2009 |
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She
united us as a family. She provided comfort when we
needed someone to love us. And by every definition,
she was a best friend. She was there for good times
and bad. Since finally moving out of my childhood home,
she has lived every place I have. The windows have been
rolled down on every car I’ve owned so she could stick
her head out and enjoy the breeze.
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From
the Backpack ~ Originally posted January 3, 2007 |
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March
25, 2009 |
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I
was having a particularly miserable day. Couldn’t focus
on my writing. Had a honey-do list where every item was
fighting me and taking twice as long to finish as it should.
And it was almost time to head into the kitchen to make
dinner. Having spent the better part of two hours fighting
with a lawn mower that didn’t want to run, I sat down
on the front steps.
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From
the Backpack ~ Originally posted December 9, 2004 |
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February
23, 2009 |
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I
honestly believe that there needs to be a certain amount
of instinct and opinion brought into a conversation.
Observational skills in action rather than just the
black and white of numbers and research. I also believe
that this little web site of mine is a constantly developing,
at times learning and at others growing, place for expression.
That sounds wonderfully poetic when it certainly shouldn’t
be that classy. It just means that while I accept responsibility
for my comments, I also know that I’m going to make
some mistakes or just plain change my mind.
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February
22, 2009 |
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Newspapers…
television stations… web sites… whatever. Run an article,
conduct an interview, or post an essay that has any
possible negative content and you will be fined. Let’s
say $5 million per infraction. Instead of worrying about
Janet’s boobs and Britney’s panties… we could assign
the government watchdog agencies to this one and let
them fine the crap out of the media. Why? Because every
time I see the word “economy” on the internet or hear
it from some reporter, my 401k nosedives.
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February
14, 2009 |
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What
I mean is that most people have that “don’t inconvenience
me” approach to things. Instead of comprehending the problem,
instead of troubleshooting it, almost every one of us
lets an attitude of “not my job” creep in, even if only
occasionally…
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From
the Backpack ~ Originally posted September 19, 2004 |
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February
12, 2009 |
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I
show a few of them to Terry before deleting them. I want
her to understand exactly what kind of competition she’s
dealing with for my attention. Always better to be in
demand goes the thinking. Keep her on her toes.
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February
9, 2009 |
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While
I try to keep this web site a bit on the family-friendly
side at times, the fact is if you are emotionally scarred
for life by seeing Janet Jackson’s boobs on national television,
you need help for a checklist of issues.
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February
9, 2009 |
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Ellen
is the enabler for my wife… or… as I’ve been noting it,
she’s that friend. The one that creates headaches
for me. The one that creates more work. And the unfortunate
reality is… she’s the one that if I tried to describe
that friend in general terms to someone else,
they’d look at me as if I were nuts. Why? Because the
description would include examples of valuable advice
that was offered, coming over early to help get ready
for a party, taking in stray puppies, making overly generous
donations to charity, and all sorts of other amazing things
worthy of hugs and appreciation and Thanksgiving dinners
that couldn’t be beat.
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January
29, 2009 |
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And
in a home… as you arrive back from your journey, the moment
those tires and stone meet to cause even the slightest
of sounds, a furry brown head pops into view in that window…
paws extended over the back cushions… shaking uncontrollably
because of the manically waving tail… staring at you and
watching every step you make toward the door. And when
you move out of the view from that window, that guy leaps
from the sofa to race to the door, so that the moment
you open it there is no possible way not to feel welcomed…
no possible way not to feel appreciated… no possible way
not to feel loved.
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January
5, 2009 |
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I
hope someday to meet Al Franken. Maybe interview him for
my site. Maybe exchange e-mails or phone calls with him
on a regular basis. I hope someday to meet Penn &
Teller for longer than a few seconds after one of their
shows. Maybe interview them for my site. Maybe exchange
e-mails or phone calls with them on a regular basis. But...
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From
the Backpack ~ Originally posted February 12, 2004 |
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