But
do you?
I
wonder about the cliches and encouragement we receive (and offer)
at times. Do they believe it? Do they believe we actually do have
this? Or, are they just being polite?
Behind
the scenes, out of sight, are they shaking our heads while wondering
if the not having it will result in us reaching epic comedic levels?
And—pausing
for a moment to fully consider it—am I just being polite when
encouraging others? Are there moments where my best wishes are
less than sincere?
Let’s
make this clear, here and now: If you are undertaking something—anything
from a home improvement project to a lifelong dream—and you’re
not hurting anyone else or breaking the law, you have my best
wishes. As long as your ambitions and intentions don’t bring pain
or harm to someone else, and there’s nothing deep and dark and
hidden that I don’t know of, good luck and great successes.
I
mean that. I’m happy to see others do well, and thrilled when
I get to watch friends strive for greatness with their passions
and realize accomplishments as a result. Wild applause, thundering
cheers, big smile. I’m genuinely happy for them
Let’s
face realities though.
There
are moments when we see people—especially people we care about—make
misguided choices, or veer off into dangerous waters. Often, as
difficult as it may be, our love for them makes us want to suggest
taking a second look at things or even coming to a halt.
Again,
clarity or disclosure time, see statement above. What I mean here
is moments when people we care about are facing a situation where
they are about to do harm in some way or don’t appear to have
given thought to a scenario. I am not saying we need to stop them
from pursuing a goal. I’m talking about moments where honesty
is massively important.
Understand?
Ok… moving ahead.
Years
ago, I was doing some research on possible career opportunities.
I spoke with a friend, and he mentioned that he believed many
of my strengths came from supporting and designing an effort rather
than being the person in front of the microphone. Think Roy Disney
for Walt, as someone vital to making the dream happen but not
necessarily the face of the effort. I liked that.
And
I think that’s a position many of us unknowingly find ourselves
facing. We get a family member, a significant other, or a close
friend facing a situation, and we have the opportunity to offer
encouragement and support. Our thoughts, perhaps our advice and
definitely our enthusiasm, can be massively important to a person
about to head off and face challenges we may not understand.
Are
they opening a new business? Debating a move across the country?
Thinking about marriage?
If
they’re planning to become an artist, perform on stage, or write
a novel, are you going to buy a painting, see a show or look for
their book?
If
you are, awesome! They can use the support, and there’s a good
chance they need both the kind words and consideration. They’d
love to hear you told your friends.
But
if you’re not, you got this as a response can ring a little hollow.
I
don’t know what you’re facing today. A challenge at work. A health
issue. Some other crisis. I don’t know. And you may not have this.
You may not succeed. But know…
I
believe in you. I honestly wish you well. (And if I can help,
let me know. Happy to do what I can.)