What do you want?

 

It’s a deeper question than you might think. Kind of bridges into just about any area.

On an immediate level, it might indicate something as simple as dinner. It’s 4:30, you’re hungry, you go find someone in the other room and the question gets asked. Dinner. Dinner is the answer.

But maybe dinner has already been established. Now the question refers to the idea of what to make or where to go for dinner.

If you happen to be on social media, the same basic question might be slightly adjusted and offered for a number of topics. What do you want professionally? What do you want from your relationships? What do you want from life?

If it’s been an exhausting day, you might want to go to bed. If it’s been an exhausting week, you might want to go on vacation. If it’s been an exhausting… well… we all want to win the lottery.

One of my friends asked me the other day if I wanted a best-selling book, a movie deal for one of my stories, or wide recognition. He was just trying to start a conversation and be a bit of a pain in the behind. After all, more often than not, you consider all of that a progression and not a one-not-the-others choice. Write a best seller, get offers from folks that want to do something with it, and then some recognition comes from folks that liked the book or the television show or both. Hit the convention circuit.

Turned out, not so silly a question. Because after the initial joke, we did begin kicking around the full idea. Was it fortune or fame that I sought? (So to speak.) Suppose it couldn’t be all or nothing, but just a single piece.

Where we eventually arrived is a discussion about the very question we led off this essay with:
“What do you want?”. And we meandered through a lot of possibilities.

My personal opinion was that far more people would select reward. The dollars. Two reasons sit atop the list. Number one, there are a lot of people that would enjoy being successful if it didn’t come with attention. Pick the best seller—essentially taking the money—and you might have a financial recognition while maintaining your anonymity. I’ve found A LOT of writers tend to fall into that success with privacy preferred area. Number two, I think in general terms, if you removed the people that would select keeping their personal life personal, the remainder would be fairly split (though still leaning to the money). Yes, absolutely some people enjoy attention. A step beyond attention, ego loves a spotlight. But I’ve found more people want that security first, attention second.

Now, the weird part of this is I believe the concepts found in a simple fame or fortune debate makes a nice transition to covering anything that could develop from this question.

It’s the center, the heartbeat, the foundation of any debate between needs and desires. Don’t ask the question with a disclaimer. Don’t let “if money were no object” come into play. Some people will be practical, making attempts at steadying daily life. And others will look for more, reaching out toward things they might not enjoy otherwise.

And there is nothing wrong with either idea. Whatever it is that you want, it has to be understood that this is your answer. Not mine. Not another person reading this at the same time. Your answer.

Simple? Are you hungry? Do you just want to go home?

Deep? Are there things you’d love to do? The bucket list item of all bucket list items for you. The things you dream of having.

Realistic? Your children to be happy. Your life to be financially secure. Tomorrow to be happier and more peaceful than today.

What do you want?

 

If you have any comments or questions, please e-mail me at Bob@inmybackpack.com