If Terry and I could isolate our occasional heated moments into
one example, it would be towels.
Specifically,
these moments involve what I call water repellant towels.
(The
fact that I’m saying an example of heated moments would involve
towels should tell you things are pretty good between the two
of us. And when it comes to the description of the towels, some
of you are nodding your heads with understanding and sympathy
already. For those that aren’t… a water repellant towel is one
that doesn’t absorb any water. At all. When you use a water repellant
towel, you basically just spread water around.)
Terry
has a habit of buying water repellant towels. And then, when I
notice, she has the nerve to try and use one of two excuses as
her defense against my complaints.
The
first excuse is that once washed a few times, the towels will
be fine. And this is just a flat out lie. The strange thing though,
is that I don’t mind this one. It’s an attempt to get me to be
quiet. I get it. But the reality of the situation is simple… for
a few runs through the laundry, the lint filter gets quite the
workout… when it comes to drying a person off however, the towels
-- after one trip through the washer or fifty -- continue to work
about as well as a sheet of Saran Wrap.
The
second excuse is the one that troubles me. In this one, the consistent
theme is that the purchase was a smart one, and simply too good
to pass up. Terry tries defending her actions because they look
so lovely. Often they match something… a shower curtain, toothbrush
holder, or bathmat. Occasionally they were on sale. Once they
were an amazing bargain for such a terrific brand.
I’ll
stop there… because, let’s face it… how many of us can actually
provide a brand name for quality bath and body towels? And to
clarify, I’m not talking about a favorite store. No answering
me with: “I like to buy my towels at fill-in-the-blank.” A store
name is not a brand of towels. I mean that you read the question
and said: “Well, there’s Artthur Frank. I’ll always buy Artthur
Frank towels.”
(Artthur
Frank… I didn’t make that up. I hopped on the inter-web-thingy
and did a search for “quality towel manufacturer brands” and Artthur
Frank was the first response. That’s not a spelling error. I can’t
say that I’ve ever heard of Artthur Frank before the search engine
of choice pointed me in that direction. Can’t tell you I’ll ever
hear of Artthur Frank again. The point remains… few people know
the best names in towels, and even fewer have a need for such
knowledge. Now back to the story…)
My
problem with the excuse could be even more detailed, but we’ve
shared enough to get to the main troubles. And I’ll move over
to that with a question…
How
many different ways can you decorate your bathroom? I mean, right
now. Without leaving your home or apartment -- just what you have
available.
Today
our bathroom is kind of formal. I guess you could call the decorations
neutral colors, mainly browns and beiges, with fancy swirled handles
on the accessories and basic but distinct patterns on the shower
curtain rings.
That’s
at this very moment.
In
our basement is a container with another bathroom set. Sea turtles
and dolphins and greens and blues. Cups and waste baskets and
shower curtain rings and -- of course -- even a few color-coded
hand towels that only come out on special occasions.
Next
to it is another container with parrots and reds and palm trees
and yellows and tropical jungle stuff.
And
another with anything you could imagine using for a bathroom in
either dusty rose or a color that matches up ever so nicely with
dusty rose.
And
then another… blues.
And…
and you get the idea. Once we get past five possible bathroom
themes, they all sort of run together in some way -- even providing
interchangeable options -- and the grand total is no longer important.
Remember
excuse number two though? Purchased because they were lovely or
matched or whatever? A smart purchase. You do not pass this buy
purchase. Well… just because something works when you have the
whales and dolphins and sea turtles out does not mean it matches
everything from the dusty rose container.
She
claims these towels are bought for many reasons… function and
décor… but that’s not true either. However, as opposed
to being a pants-on-fire moment designed to find a possible momentary
end to the debate, this time it’s a lie as an attempt to justify
the purchase. And that’s just insulting.
Let’s
gingerly tread into the differences of men and women debate for
a moment here. (As if, perhaps, I hadn’t crossed that road already.)
Terry
tends to avoid the larger towels in our linen closet. It has something
to do with washing her hair and using multiple smaller bath towels
instead of a single bigger one.
I
am fine with this. It makes sense.
I
normally reach for a larger bath towel though. Washing my hair
does not necessitate an extra towel. And, I love the days after
laundry has been washed and folded because -- yeah, you guessed
it -- all of the best towels are available.
I
don’t go for the smaller bath towels unless the larger water absorbent
ones are gone -- she doesn’t go for the larger ones unless the
smaller ones are gone.
So
far, so good.
When
the latest shopping has been done though, and the bags are entering
the house, guess which style of bath towel Terry has bought? Absolutely
-- the water repellant towels are just about always the larger
size that she rarely uses.
This
brings us to a nifty conclusion in the debate. When Terry buys
more towels, she tends to buy the larger towels of the style that
she doesn’t use and that I do, and she buys them in the water
repellant style that I absolutely hate.
Somehow,
that’s my fault.
Which
wouldn’t be so bad… I can handle the blame, misguided or not.
But what generally happens isn’t a case of whether or not I should
buy my own darn towels. No… what happens is that even she avoids
the water repellant ones.
Heck,
can you guess what happens to make room for the latest purchases?
Sure you can. The good towels -- those would be “good” in my opinion,
and means the ones that actually absorb water and work like, you
know, towels -- get removed from the linen closet and end up in
some location that I have yet to find. Space is tight… new towels
need a home… and suddenly water repellant towels have taken over
the house.
With
Terry also first using the few water absorbent ones.
(Lovely.)
I
probably should have had a destination in mind for this essay
when I began. Something more than it being an example of relationships.
Perhaps a push to make an item that shows the friendly battles
that are created when a house becomes a home.
But
the inspiration for it came from a simple moment. This morning
I woke up, made my way to the shower, and reached for a towel.
The laundry is done, but still in baskets downstairs for now,
and I was left wishing for something better than the towels available
-- something like Saran Wrap.