I
won’t mention the name. Probably better for many reasons if I
don’t. Here are a few…
For
one, not mentioning the name creates plausible deniability for
me. There are so many companies where my story could apply, which
means for anyone that feels the urgency and desire to dive deep
there really is no evidence around to prove a specific source
of my frustrations.
For
another, I don’t have to. Chances aren’t just really good you’ve
experienced something similar, they’re better than that. They’re
so strong, the you’ve experienced something similar possibility
likely moves this story into the universal experience category.
And if we’re all experiencing it, my specifics aren’t necessary
when we as a group have common generalities.
And
for yet another, I shouldn’t. Because I would hope that all companies
want to provide decent customer service. And as a result, if anyone
that can make a difference is reading this, I’d rather they not
shrug off the problem from company a because they work at company
b.
And
now the story…
I
had to make a phone call to a company two weeks ago. There were
two reasons for the call, on vastly different ends of the spectrum.
To
give you an idea we can use an example that has nothing to do
with my call. Let’s say you needed to touch base with a mortgage
company. For one thing, you were changing the information on your
insurance policy and needed to update the company and address
that got paid each year by your mortgage company. And, for another,
you had received an offer to refinance and wanted to find out
some specifics that weren’t fully outlined in the letter sent
to you. Same company… two very different departments… and some
nuances that meant an automated button pushing progression wouldn’t
finish off your needs.
And
yet, automated button pushing is what you get.
So,
there I was, calling the customer service number and trying to
navigate the prompts.
At
first, I kind of absent-mindedly began by listening to the message
because menu options had changed. I initially planned to make
this a two-project approach and navigate to the first department
on my list, so I was trying to work through the funnel process
of if you’re calling for this press 1 and that press 2. About
six choices in, listening closely to attempt the best selection
from the options presented, I got disconnected.
So,
I called back a second time. And a third.
On
the fourth call, I realized that it was possible that I hadn’t
made the same combination of selections on each previous call.
Even with the best of intentions and thoughts, maybe I was leading
myself down the path of disconnection. I decided to just put my
efforts into getting a representative on the phone. Figured if
I could explain to a person what I was looking to do, that might
get me to at least one of the departments that handled my issues.
But I couldn’t do it. Every time it acknowledged that I wanted
to speak with someone, the program said they wanted to collect
a few more details to make sure they were directing my call properly.
And then they disconnected me.
Nine
calls. Nine. With more than ninety minutes invested in selections
and hold time on the previous eight.
That
got me to a person.
I
was told I was appreciated as a valued long-time customer, transferred
to the first department I needed, and… after being told I was
important and my call would be handled in the order received…
the message playing estimated my time on hold would be two hours
and thirty-five minutes.
As
I waited on hold, it occurred to me that I had spoken with someone
for less than a minute. Less than a minute of personal interaction
was all that this company that valued me could offer. More than
an hour of frustration and more than two hours on hold. But less
than a minute of interaction.
Beautiful.
Now
overall, I want you to know that I actually do understand the
importance of automated systems. Just looking for your account
balance or something straightforward and easy? An automated system
is perfect for this. Less than two minutes on the phone, you get
the details you need, and the call is over.
But
a few days after this call, I was on the phone with a different
company, and they took more than a minute… I called back to time
it because I wanted to be accurate for this essay, one minute
and seventeen seconds… welcoming me to the company’s automated
system and thank you for being a loyal card holder and menu options
have changed so listen carefully and… what the hell?
I
want to get it. I want to be easy-going. But when you get placed
on hold for one hundred and fifty minutes, it’s hard not to believe
they want you to hang up. As best I can figure, there are only
two possibilities. And if you don’t just give up and end the call,
option number two is that they want you to be grumpy for hanging
in there.
Grumpy
and ticked. Yup, that’s what I’ll associate with this company
moving forward.
Just
a guess, but I’m guessing those aren’t the two words that come
to mind when designing a corporate approach to customer service.
And yet, it’s definitely where many businesses are taking us.