I’m
going to tell you a story that I can’t prove ever happened.
I’m
telling you right now I was told the story by a reliable source.
I’m telling you right now I didn’t see any of it happen. And I’m
telling you that if someone said it definitely didn’t happen,
I wouldn’t be surprised.
None
of that is important.
Because
regardless of whether it did or didn’t happen, the important thing
is whether or not you believe it could have happened.
Do
you think there is someone out there stupid enough to try what
I describe?
I
think you will believe someone could be this stupid. And that,
in turn, is what becomes the foundation of this little essay.
That people are capable of such stupidity.
In
the fall of 1989, the Rolling Stones were out on their Steel Wheels
tour. I would mark this as the last great tour by the Stones.
There are some that might point at the Voodoo Lounge tour that
took place about five years later (which I attended in the Carrier
Dome… the very location of this story)… some that might even contend
any tour by the Rolling Stones is still potentially great. For
my vote, the Stones wrapped up the Steel Wheels tour and have
been a tribute band for themselves ever since. And… in a moment
I will even admit that I barely saw much of the actual show.
As
part of the tour, they were set to play two shows on the campus
of Syracuse University, in the Carrier Dome.
I
didn’t see much of the show. It’s kind of funny to say that when
you know the whole story, and can compare my presence for this
show to others performed in the Dome. See, I was working for the
campus ambulance service at the time, and was scheduled to work
on the night of the second show. And during concerts at that time,
we were normally able to stop by the Dome and take a quick look
at what was going on.
Not
during the Stones on this evening. It was too busy for our crew
around the Dome and on campus. See… here’s what I can tell you
about that night…
First,
the Stones attract alot of people that are willing to do really,
really dumb things. I’m not kidding. I worked plenty of events
at the Dome, from concerts to sporting events, and I honestly
do not recall a single three to four hour stretch of time where
an event was taking place in the Dome and so many ridiculously
silly injuries happened. I can’t tell you everything that took
place, and wouldn’t want to break the confidentiality if I could.
What I will say in summary of this point is simple: if you are
going to a concert, and you smoke (meaning that you would be in
possession of a lighter), then please do not combine an entirely
beyond excessive amount of alcohol and fireworks with that situation.
Ok?
And
second, the 17-seconds I saw of “Midnight Rambler” were ok. I
saw nothing else from the show. The song I wanted to hear, not
just because it’s a great song but also because after seeing the
first show my best friend had told me that it was not to be missed…
was “Honky Tonk Woman.” In the end, I heard “Honky Tonk
Woman” being played. Heard it while standing outside the Dome,
assisting with someone that didn’t have a lighter or fireworks,
but otherwise met the criteria explained before.
Anyway…
September… Carrier Dome and the campus of Syracuse University…
night of the second show.
Around
4pm my friend and I were driving around campus and we stopped
to talk to someone we knew. (He saw the first show while working
inside… on this night, he was stuck working with me. Serves him
right.) The person we met asked us if we had heard about the big
commotion over at the security booth near the Dome.
Nope.
We hadn’t.
Evidently,
about thirty minutes earlier, a pickup truck had arrived. And
in the back of that pickup was a statue from a Big
Boy restaurant.
According
to him, apparently the driver and passenger were supposed to attend
that night’s show. And they had decided that Mick Jagger needed
to have the Big Boy statue.
I’m
going to stop for a moment here. First, to let you either use
the link or to go out on your own and find out exactly what a
Big Boy statue is. And second, to consider that offering such
a gift to Mick might seem perfectly logical. After all, what do
you get for the man who has everything?
And
now… using that pause as a springboard… we begin tying a ribbon
on some things…
Admittedly,
what we have in place here lacks a certain credibility. I mean
seriously… who on the planet honestly would take a statue of the
Big Boy and bring it as an offering to Mick Jagger?
And,
despite what you may have done beyond looking for pictures of
the statue, you can’t pull up a search engine and start typing
combinations of words… Syracuse Rolling Stones Jagger Big Boy…
Big Boy Jagger Syracuse… Carrier Dome Big Boy Statue Rolling Stones…
and find a story that even remotely approaches what I’m saying
happened. There’s just no references to it.
The
question though… as noted earlier... becomes one of whether or
not you could see someone doing it, and not one of did it actually
happen. I enter into evidence…
Today
I came across a story where a
man in Germany arranged a ceremony so he could
marry his cat.
We’ve
all heard not only the stories of people seeing Jesus, Mary and/or
Joseph in an ice cube in a glass of water, but also of the people
that drove 750 or miles to see that ice cube. Similar stories
include grease stains at diners, sandwiches, tree bark, mold,
and the list goes on and on (and on).
Once
we see cat marriages and items like a holy grilled cheese on wheat,
I think it’s possible for us to agree that a stolen iconic statue
arriving as a tribute for the man that’s impossible to shop for
really isn’t such a reach.
Which
leads us to a conclusion that I think all of us felt we understood…
despite any and all comments about common sense and general knowledge,
the reality is that some people are different. And by that, I
mean very different.
Not
unique different.
Not
we’re all snowflakes and rose petals and rainbows unique different.
Not
necessarily even good different.
I’m
talking some people will have you questioning whether or not they
should be outside unsupervised different. Because you cannot take
for granted what a person will or will not do… what a person truly
believes is wrong or right… what a person thinks.