The best in every state

 

I grew up in Rhode Island. And when you grow up in the smallest of all American states, something interesting happens to the possibilities whenever you see an article that claims its intention to share the best of something from every state.

There’s a tremendous chance you’ve actually heard about the place that will be suggested for your state.

Alaska? Texas? California? Huge states. Easily possible that a great bakery or sandwich shop exists not only that you’ve never heard of, but also happens to be in a town you didn’t know was part of your state.

But grow up in Rhode Island, bordering on Connecticut and Massachusetts, part of New England… well… you tend to be familiar with a good chunk of what’s going on. Heck, even from Rhode Island I might have a better chance of having heard about that amazing ice cream stand in New Hampshire than the person living in Texas of California does of knowing the one noted for the very same state.

And then there’s another funny thing. When I do find myself intrigued and fall for the invitation to click, more often than not I find myself rolling my eyes, lifting my head, and screaming something close to “you’ve got to be kidding” (only with a few additional adult words sprinkled in). Seriously, more than half the time I look, I don’t just disagree with the choice of best in Rhode Island this-or-that, I actually have a strong and emotional disagreement about the selection.

The weird part is, my reactions always tend to be strongest about Rhode Island. I’ve lived in other states. Traveled quite a bit. Rhode Island? A small state. A hop on Route 95 and get from the southwest corner on the border of Connecticut to the northeast corner crossing over to Massachusetts in under an hour without speeding small state.

And I think the reason is because I know the state. Give me another state… Florida, which I regularly have visited over the years, and have seen a lot of different areas… and I might have no clue about the nominee. Don’t know the business. Might not know the city. Less of a chance for an emotional outburst when you can accept you have zero clue about the winner.

For a while, I wondered if it might just be personal preferences. I happen to know a few places that I’m not personally a fan of, and yet they have loyal and dedicated followings that would be willing to fight me on a claim that their offerings taste like ketchup and barely melted cheese served on a piece of cardboard.

Also, I do know that wherever you go, if you don’t have the ability to discuss the cuisine, keep your mouth shut on specifics. Growing up in Rhode Island, I can tell you that I never understood why anyone would consider salsa a must on every dinner table. But I always liked salsa. Eventually I found myself in the southwest, tasted fresh salsa, and it was then that I understood what it meant for even the average salsa to be fabulous (and light years better than what we were being served at home).

Went on a trip to wine country in northern California many years ago. Was treated to a tour at one place where they were basically pumping the wine into barrels using something that resembled a hose and nozzle you would find at a gas station. We tasted the wine before it went into the barrels, and our entire group would unhesitatingly swear that what they were pumping into the barrels… not even remotely aged, never mind ready to be bottled and sold… was lightyears beyond the wines we would find in stores near our homes.

What do I like? What do you like? What is the best food served around us?

With all of this swirling around in my thoughts from time to time, I came across an article about the best sandwiches in every state the other day. And it turns out, there could be another reason involved. The person writing the article might be an idiot.

If you’re going to write an article collecting information about the best sandwiches across the country, you had better understand the following terms and how they might apply to your results: hero, grinder, sub, hoagie, po’ boy. Of course, there are more, but that covers enough ground to make the point.

Haven’t lived in Rhode Island? Never visited the state? Then you had better clarify, carefully and thoroughly, what qualifies you to tell me where the best hot wieners are found. Otherwise, I’m going to have some adult words to share.