I’ve
been giving a lot of thought over the past several years to the
idea of common areas on a massive scale.
To
begin, we need to set up a basic understanding of what I mean
by common areas. And, the idea is simple enough. Let’s say you
live with someone, whether it’s family or friends, a significant
other or a generic roommate.
A
bedroom would be an area we designate as something of personal
space and a private location. Door closed, and whatever is behind
it belongs to the occupier of the room. If you want to toss dirty
clothes on the floor and never make your bed, that’s your decision
for your room. The other person in the house has no say about
your private space, same way you don’t get to outline what happens
in that person’s bedroom.
Then
we have the bathroom, kitchen and more. Common areas. The places
everyone uses. If you leave dirty dishes all over the place, or
toss towels on the bathroom floor, that matters to others residing
with you.
Funny
thing about meandering around a house in daily life. People have
very different ideas about what needs to be done, even when it
comes to assorted small details. There are folks out there that
believe a bed should be made every day. If you aren’t in it, sleeping,
it should be made. Dirty dishes in the sink? Never. According
to some, those pots and pans and plates should be immediately
washed or placed in the dishwasher.
(Here’s
where it gets funny.)
Regardless
of your personal beliefs about all matters of homelife, that border
between private areas and common areas becomes involved. If you
expect me to make my bed, and I don’t want to make it, all I need
to do is close my bedroom door and it doesn’t matter at all. (Yes,
some would argue I don’t even have to close my door for it to
not matter, but I’m approaching this with a smidgeon of awareness
and courtesy for both sides.)
That
very simple description put into place, let’s expand the range
a bit.
If
I make my bed but don’t immediately wash the dishes, the folks
living in the house next door have no say in the matter. Impacts
them in absolutely no way whatsoever. They can’t see the bed.
The dishes in the sink in no way increase or decrease their property
value.
Chances
are good, unless they ask me or manage to tour the inside of my
house, they’ll never know whether my wet towel is in the laundry,
draped over the shower rod or on the bathroom floor. And, you
might be able to figure this out without guessing, it’s none of
their business where my towel is.
In
our society, we have laws. Those laws are essentially designed
with a very simple foundation, to figuratively manage the common
areas. To allow us to live and interact with each other in ways
where we do interact with each other. Is there a law about stealing
my property? Yes, there is. Is there a law requiring me to have
a fitted sheet, top sheet, no more than one blanket and a comforter
on my bed at all time? No, there is not.
There
are some blind spots and additional concepts that we could bring
into a conversation depending on how far along the path we wish
to venture, and which associated ideas we want to explore. How
often to mow your lawn, and at what time to start the engines
to do that? How much noise is too much noise an hour before sunrise?
But we really don’t need to meander into them here. We only need
the basics, and that we do have.
Yes?
Good.
Because
what’s bothering me is, in very, VERY simple terms, when a group
of people is trying to figuratively tell me to make my bed. Even
more maddening is that they wave and point, scream and shout,
judge my actions while telling me things such as they know as
a fact that Jesus always made his bed without fail. All that and
more while behind them, in their house, the sheets and several
blankets and two comforters are on the floor because their bed
isn’t made.
This
is not an essay about religion. (Despite the fact I just mentioned
Jesus.) However, religion works as an example. If I don’t read
your book… heck, if I believe it is a work of fiction… and I treat
others with compassion and respect… the only important part of
this entire statement is that I treat others with compassion and
respect.
Religion
and other individualized foundations for points of view are dangerous
when used to create the laws of society. I shouldn’t cause an
uproar in the neighborhood by firing up the ride on mower at 4
in the morning because that’s simply the wrong thing to do. Whether
or not Jesus would mow the lawn in the middle of the single-digit
overnight hours is absolutely irrelevant.
And
so, sweet as can be, both literally and figuratively I’d like
to invite you to make your bed or not and stay away from mine.
Respect me, because I respect you. Be kind and compassionate,
and I will do my best as well. If, for whatever reason, you plan
on telling me that I have to make my bed or you’re calling the
police and petitioning government officials to make unmade beds
illegal, well…
My
response is likely going to be offering “bless your heart” as
I smile. Interpret that however you wish, and you’ll be correct.