We’ve
all seen stories…
A
parent letting a very young child drive… because they were the
only one sober in the car.
A
person calling 911… because of the service at the drive up window.
You
don’t need me scanning headlines or using search engines to find
the links. You know the stories or ones that are similar. And
when we see a new one that involves a person showing up at court
for their sentencing on some previous charge with drugs in their
pockets… when a person pulls out identification while robbing
a bank because the teller says they need to see a valid driver’s
license for any transaction… when a lawn mower is being driven
on the interstate… when Jesus appears on the frosting of a cake
and hundreds show up to donate money and pray… well…
We
close our eyes, shake our head, and silently chuckle.
Today,
we’ll use this one as our example…
“Student
bites principal, mother grabs pot and Maine
school goes into lockdown”
I’d
like to tell you there’s some big amazing tale here. But go read
the story… it is every bit as wonderful in detail as it is presented
by a 12-word blurb.
A
student bit his principal while meeting with the principal, a
police officer and his mother.
The
mother moved quickly, using the biting as a distraction, grabbed
a backpack full of marijuana and ran from the office.
The
school shut down while a search for the mother took place.
Wonderfully
entertaining.
The
details in the end even include the beautiful picture of the mother
returning with the backpack and trying to say there was never
any pot in it. Frosting for an already pretty terrific cake.
Student
bites principal… mother grabs pot… Maine school into lockdown.
~ ~
~ ~ ~
I’ve
got to be honest… I’m a bit stumped.
Where
do I take this next?
We’ve
got celebrities heading back to jail (Lindsey
Lohan) and defending their filmed-for-show-but-it-was-real-wedding
as it heads for divorce before the ink on the license is dry (Kim
Karcashian… misspelling mine and intentional).
Somehow
I’ve written myself into a corner and I’m trying to navigate this
article along… where a mother goes to a parent-principal meeting,
with police in attendance, and when the child attacks the principal
she grabs a backpack of pot and runs… and it seems all of us can
already agree that there are people in the world that just have
their inner clocks ticking on a different pace. What else needs
to be said? Right?
But
as Lohan and Karcashian hit the news, the fact is simple… for
sheer fascination if no other reason… people are paying attention
to these derailments and disasters.
In
Rapid City, South Dakota, a man was arrested for using a paddle
on a woman. Now hold on… because
this one gets weird. Ok… apparently the man
showed up at a mall and offered to sell her a paddle. She said
nope. So he offered to let her spank him. She evidently declined.
(Ready for the weird part?) “The woman allowed the man to spank
her once so he would leave the business”… but wait, it gets even
better, since the first swat apparently wasn’t why he was arrested…
“but then reportedly spanked her a second time without her permission.”
And to top it all off, he wasn’t arrested the day it happened.
(Of course not.) He was arrested two days later when the woman
spotted him, walking around the same mall.
Think
I can’t top that? Well, I can try. Colorado Springs, Colorado,
is our destination for a story of quick-thinking and romance.
It was there that a man called the police because
of a burglar. (sfgate.com link, no longer active) As we
learn more, it would seem that we have a man getting ready for
a date. His girlfriend shows up. Unfortunately for our hero, his
date wasn’t with his girlfriend. She was home unexpectedly. And
early. So when his date arrived, he called the police and reported
her as a burglar. (I suppose “nice try” is in order for him.)
More?
A
man borrowed a woman’s car… and then went to sell
it on Craigslist. (sfgate.com link, no longer active)
A
police officer was arrested for speeding… hitting
about 120 on his was to another job. (Associated Press
link, no longer active)
And
to wrap this up, a man stole a forklift. Well… actually… he appropriated
it as a getaway vehicle after stealing a sandwich.
(Associated Press link, no longer active)
This
is the world we live in and the people we share it with.
A
man stole a sandwich from a bar. In his rush to escape, he went
with a forklift as an option.
~ ~
~ ~ ~
In
Florida, a 9-year-old was on the school bus, eating candy. According
to what I’ve seen, heard and read, the bus driver asked her to
stop eating… and then the trouble began.
The
child allegedly attacked the drive, swearing up a storm and spitting.
Once
off the bus, she started throwing chunks of the road at it. Police
arrived.
The
girl attacked the police officer.
As
the story continues we get details of handcuffs, and arrest, and
pepper-spray. (Really… pepper-spray.)
Are
you surprised?
~ ~
~ ~ ~
“Student
bites principal, mother grabs pot and Maine
school goes into lockdown”
Or
are you just fascinated?