What are we protecting?


We’ve all seen stories…

A parent letting a very young child drive… because they were the only one sober in the car.

A person calling 911… because of the service at the drive up window.

You don’t need me scanning headlines or using search engines to find the links. You know the stories or ones that are similar. And when we see a new one that involves a person showing up at court for their sentencing on some previous charge with drugs in their pockets… when a person pulls out identification while robbing a bank because the teller says they need to see a valid driver’s license for any transaction… when a lawn mower is being driven on the interstate… when Jesus appears on the frosting of a cake and hundreds show up to donate money and pray… well…

We close our eyes, shake our head, and silently chuckle.

Today, we’ll use this one as our example…

Student bites principal, mother grabs pot and Maine school goes into lockdown”

I’d like to tell you there’s some big amazing tale here. But go read the story… it is every bit as wonderful in detail as it is presented by a 12-word blurb.

A student bit his principal while meeting with the principal, a police officer and his mother.

The mother moved quickly, using the biting as a distraction, grabbed a backpack full of marijuana and ran from the office.

The school shut down while a search for the mother took place.

Wonderfully entertaining.

The details in the end even include the beautiful picture of the mother returning with the backpack and trying to say there was never any pot in it. Frosting for an already pretty terrific cake.

Student bites principal… mother grabs pot… Maine school into lockdown.

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I’ve got to be honest… I’m a bit stumped.

Where do I take this next?

We’ve got celebrities heading back to jail (Lindsey Lohan) and defending their filmed-for-show-but-it-was-real-wedding as it heads for divorce before the ink on the license is dry (Kim Karcashian… misspelling mine and intentional).

Somehow I’ve written myself into a corner and I’m trying to navigate this article along… where a mother goes to a parent-principal meeting, with police in attendance, and when the child attacks the principal she grabs a backpack of pot and runs… and it seems all of us can already agree that there are people in the world that just have their inner clocks ticking on a different pace. What else needs to be said? Right?

But as Lohan and Karcashian hit the news, the fact is simple… for sheer fascination if no other reason… people are paying attention to these derailments and disasters.

In Rapid City, South Dakota, a man was arrested for using a paddle on a woman. Now hold on… because this one gets weird. Ok… apparently the man showed up at a mall and offered to sell her a paddle. She said nope. So he offered to let her spank him. She evidently declined. (Ready for the weird part?) “The woman allowed the man to spank her once so he would leave the business”… but wait, it gets even better, since the first swat apparently wasn’t why he was arrested… “but then reportedly spanked her a second time without her permission.” And to top it all off, he wasn’t arrested the day it happened. (Of course not.) He was arrested two days later when the woman spotted him, walking around the same mall.

Think I can’t top that? Well, I can try. Colorado Springs, Colorado, is our destination for a story of quick-thinking and romance. It was there that a man called the police because of a burglar. (sfgate.com link, no longer active) As we learn more, it would seem that we have a man getting ready for a date. His girlfriend shows up. Unfortunately for our hero, his date wasn’t with his girlfriend. She was home unexpectedly. And early. So when his date arrived, he called the police and reported her as a burglar. (I suppose “nice try” is in order for him.)


A man borrowed a woman’s car… and then went to sell it on Craigslist. (sfgate.com link, no longer active)

A police officer was arrested for speeding… hitting about 120 on his was to another job. (Associated Press link, no longer active)

And to wrap this up, a man stole a forklift. Well… actually… he appropriated it as a getaway vehicle after stealing a sandwich. (Associated Press link, no longer active)

This is the world we live in and the people we share it with.

A man stole a sandwich from a bar. In his rush to escape, he went with a forklift as an option.

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In Florida, a 9-year-old was on the school bus, eating candy. According to what I’ve seen, heard and read, the bus driver asked her to stop eating… and then the trouble began.

The child allegedly attacked the drive, swearing up a storm and spitting.

Once off the bus, she started throwing chunks of the road at it. Police arrived.

The girl attacked the police officer.

As the story continues we get details of handcuffs, and arrest, and pepper-spray. (Really… pepper-spray.)

Are you surprised?

~ ~ ~ ~ ~

Student bites principal, mother grabs pot and Maine school goes into lockdown”

Or are you just fascinated?

If you have any comments or questions, please e-mail me at Bob@inmybackpack.com