Sour
Patch Kids.
Love
them.
Sour
Patch Oreos?
Not
so much.
In
fact, what the heck? Sour Patch Oreos? I haven’t tried them, don’t
intend to try them, and yet they are a huge sign that this needs
to stop.
I
was wandering the grocery store the other day, looking for my
sister, when I stumbled across these disasters. Mind you, they
may taste just fine. And I do love Sour Patch Kids. But how is
this even possible? Classic Oreos? Fantastic. Double Stuf? Brilliant.
Golden? Not a personal favorite, but the creation make sense.
After all, when they started producing… wait… forgot something…
what was I… oh yeah…
My
sister.
I
lost my sister.
How
did that happen?
We
actually weren’t in a true grocery store. We were shopping in
one of those mega-mart stores with sections for groceries, hardware,
electronics, toys, automobiles and on and on. Her list of needs
included a few things that involved wandering around a bit, she
knew what I was getting, and our plan was to meet in one or two
different sections as we wrapped up gathering our items.
That’s
when I turned the corner and saw the display for Sour Patch Oreos,
and was snapped out of my item-to-item-quick-grab trance. First,
I found myself thinking I was staring at a very stupid product.
Second, I realized she wasn’t nearby so I could point out the
stupidity.
How
often do you go shopping with someone and lose them? Could be
anyone. Significant other. A child. Two or more people wander
inside, and within about fifteen minutes or so a wave of realization
begins to sweep over at least one. A wave of understanding that
there is no idea whatsoever of the location of the second person.
My
guess is something like this happens to you all the time. Especially
when you meander into a larger mega-mart store or a complete mall-like
environment. More choices. More items to check off the list. More
distractions.
I’m
not one to be defending myself here. I’ve managed to get lost
in a drug store, when thoughts of needing a greeting card swept
me away from my “you pick up some tape while I go grab the prescription”
assignment went wrong. Tape. Easy. But there I was, five rows
over, browsing cards and trying to decide if a thinking of you
card with a note written inside would work since all of the thank
you cards were dumb.
(Side
note, I’ve written about cards before. But I can’t get over this
thought. Monkey butt jokes and religious themes to lengthy verses
inside. Are the vast majority of card buyers these days 5-year-old
Catholics? Never mind. Forget I asked.)
Turned
out my sister was looking for a big bag of Swedish Fish when I
found her. Nothing surprising there, but that’s a story for a
different time. For now, I’m preparing to head out with my fiancée
on some errands. We’ve got a nice dinner planned for later. I
hope I don’t get lost.