Seriously?
A can opener?
How
can it be that I don’t have a second can opener?
Even
just some cheap one picked up for $1.29 or less at some point.
Something long lost to the deepest portions of a drawer filled
with useless utensils and culinary artifacts. How can I not have
one of those?
(And
we’ve reached the point where I pause the rant and realize I need
to back up a bit.)
Yesterday
I grabbed our can opener and, well, the simple description would
be to say that it broke. Got the can, got the opener, got ready
to use it. Then, before I could make the first twist, a little
piece of plastic fell to the counter. It was a spacer that fit
in to hold things snug.
Broke.
Could spin the handle for a few hours, and had better odds of
starting a fire than cracking the lid.
Here’s
the weird part… I’m usually one of those people that will put
something aside as a backup. You know, for unexpected situations.
And while I remember an old can opener or three not working that
well, I do not remember throwing any out.
Thus,
a hunt began. Where is another can opener?
I
never found one. Not one I thought I had put aside. Not one discovered
as a fluke. Eventually, a can was put away and alternate dinner
plans arranged.
The
crazy part for me though was what I did find. Stuff that, sure,
I knew we had. But mainly stuff I hadn’t thought about in quite
some time. Like the plastic clip on bowls that can be used at
parties for dips. Or the not one but two, new in the never opened
boxes popcorn makers. And there were all sorts of other things,
but I decided to give up when I found the lobster pots.
A
cardboard box with lobster pots inside. Lobster pots we hadn’t
been able to find for roughly ten or more years, even though we
had looked for them on multiple occasions (and even in multiple
states). That was the discovery where I knew anything else would
not only leave me still without a can opener, but also crossing
the line into inventory I really did not want to be reminded about.
What
do you have that’s strange in your house? What funny things would
you laugh about not having, and yet still be able to produce other
things that really don’t have much of a defense? Because as I
ate a grilled cheese a bit later, still shaking my head about
the plans that were put off for a day or two until I could get
a can opener, I found myself wondering about our house.
A
few weeks ago, I found a couple of cereal boxes that somehow had
managed to remain untouched until being found long after their
best by date. So, I started sweeping out the pantry and one of
the things I discovered was a never opened bottle of popcorn.
The kind of popcorn you would pour into a popcorn maker, you know,
if you had one and felt like going through a bit more effort than
tossing a bag into the microwave and hitting a single button.
The kind of popcorn you might buy if you had one… or, perhaps
not one but two popcorn makers around to use. (But who has those
anymore?)
I
ended up buying two can openers. You know, just in case. They’re
both in the kitchen right now, ready to use. Not on some shelf
in the basement next to a lobster pot.
Who
wants popcorn?