For
almost my entire life, the question wasn’t really a question.
And
when I say almost, I mean such a narrow sliver remaining for it
to be each and every time that statistically some would call it
meaningless.
On
a daily basis, it’s simply a kind of a greeting. A casual note,
extended with expectations that a response will be limited solely
to options expressing that one was fine. It’s so accepted as a
ask this, then say that, smile and nod virtual ode to nothingness
that anyone using it to start a conversation would probably be
off, running, and well beyond even listening to a response before
the second word in their question.
You
never ask it because you actually cared how someone was doing.
You ask it because you’re tired of asking what’s up, if things
were good, or how something was hanging.
Ok…
pause… I suppose we should qualify that idea of how rarely anyone
asks it and cares.
You
took off full speed during a game of hide and seek, weren’t watching
where you were going, and smashed head first into a telephone
pole. When you opened your eyes and saw your mother, and she presented
some type of inquiry about whether or not you were ok, she cared.
We
can build on that. Every so often, for the briefest of moments,
someone actually asked you, was willing to listen when your answer
didn’t involve unicorns and balloons, blue skies, and a big old
beautiful world, and they wanted to know the answer.
Most
of the time though, all of it was a formality. No one really cared.
Then
2020 arrived. A year that has… and I am not kidding or exaggerating…
featured enough thrills that most of us wouldn’t blink or pause
at this point if presented with new information that The Walking
Dead was a documentary based on actual events.
(Come
on. After what you’ve seen this year, you wouldn’t be stunned
to learn zombies could happen. We all know it wouldn’t stun any
of us. It’s been quite a year.)
I
don’t know why that text message at that moment struck me as odd.
Couldn’t explain why the thought came into my head right then
and there. A few personal things going on… a few crazies in my
days lately… and then, sure, the rest of the world figuratively
(and, in spots, literally) on fire.
“How are you and Terry doing?”
And
I laughed.
Because
there are days over the past year when, more than any other time
I know of in my life, I have maneuvered through events where I
honestly could not tell you what held me up.
The
text message arrive, I read it, and I laughed.
Because
I wanted to reply with some smartass quip that I had no idea where
to begin.
And
I laughed.
Because
darn it, the true details were so overwhelming at times it was
just funny.
And
I cried.
Because
I don’t know how I’m doing.
But
I appreciated the thought.
Take
a moment to check in with those you care about. Stay safe and
send them your love. Let them know you’re thinking about them.
And when you ask, listen.
They
could probably use a moment to take a deep breath and tell you
they’re fine.