Hands-free what?

 

Commercial on television the other day.

Stunning claim.

Said, in not so many words, that it was basically pioneering hands-free technology for its industry.

On the surface, that seems like a pretty sweet claim. Technology. Hands-free.

But, you know, context.

This revolution in hands-free technology was arriving for…

…sneakers.

Hands-free technology for sneakers.

And I sat there a bit dazed. Because, after all, in a word… slippers.

Sure, there are all sorts of slip-on shoes. Which, in turn makes them hands-free. Loafers. Boat shoes.

A company might have firmed up the heel, added some elastic stretchy parts, or just designed things to be firm in some places and less resistant in others. Maybe said company was even able to get some patents or trademarks approved. Good for them if they did.

But I have to point out, when just the thought of some comfy slippers has you beat by decades (if not centuries), it’s really hard to take a brag about your new technology seriously.

To pause for a second, we should point out that the shoes may actually be pretty awesome. Commercial I saw… and I’ve now seen it more than once… was from Skechers. I’ve got a pair or two of Skechers in my closet right now. I like them. Good shoes. So, this is not about the company or its products. It’s about the claims and marketing.

How is a pair of slip-on shoes really breaking new ground with hands-free technology?

My guess is, it’s not. Skechers absolutely knows about other shoes that slide on to your feet. And, though I haven’t tried any of their shoes on since seeing this commercial, my guess would be they have done a few things to redesign the shoe, perhaps even as I suggest with my guesses about a firmer heel and such.

Instead, it makes the commercial something of a humor piece. A claim for new and improved shoes by adjusting the marketing and presentation by not using the phrase new and improved. An update. If you will.

Everyone loves hands-free, so they market them as hands-free. Great work, meeting done.

But for me it sounds out of tune. Off key. Not right. Hands-free technology, as if the sneakers feature Bluetooth and we’re soon going to see them connecting to your smartphone, your car’s navigation system, and perhaps even to your refrigerator.

Now, when you consider that twenty years ago I would never have guessed my washing machine would feature a design that could text me so I’d know when the load is ready to move to the dryer, I suppose I’d have to say that sneakers with the ability to keep me from wandering to the fridge might have some interesting applications. But that’s not a tangent to this story we need to explore just yet.

Instead, I’m just wondering about the things we hear and the phrases that get used. We’ve got a hands-free technology concept that pops up when the term is presented. For me, it involves wireless earpieces, headsets, or talking to the dashboard of my car. The phrase does not immediately connect me to my flip flops when I have things in my hands and I want to slide something on me feet before heading out into the driveway. But maybe that’s me.

Then again, maybe the industry is ready to bring shoephones to the masses. And when it happens, Skechers will be leading the way. After all, they may have the patents and the trademarks already.

 

If you have any comments or questions, please e-mail me at Bob@inmybackpack.com