It
might be one of my favorite lines from unsolicited mail. Better
than a change of color to a portion of text. Better than font
that changes size, goes bold, gets italicized and has an underlined
segment.
What
happens if you don’t respond? What happens if you toss the materials
into the shred pile? What happens if you do nothing? That bold-letter
warning of impending doom for failure to respond carries so much
weight for the form letter.
What
happens as a result of your failure to respond?
And
the answer is… nothing. Nothing happens. You do nothing, and nothing
happens. Nothing at all.
That’s
obviously not completely true. The sun rises. The sun sets. Then
it comes around and does it again. If you do nothing, the sun
will set tonight and then rise tomorrow. So, sure, things will
happen. A more specific answer would be to say that nothing will
change. And that’s… well… that’s interesting, in the most curious
and potentially sarcastic meanings of the word.
When
it comes to junk mail, the realities are simple. Doing nothing
means you may have—I said “may have”—avoided a scam. And if not
a scam, you may have—again, I said “may have”—been presented with
a questionable scenario that is completely legal but neatly wedged
right up against problematic with a laundry list of scam-like
elements.
(I
told you. Curious and sarcastic.)
I
would suggest three words for your consideration: time share presentation.
In
general, I have nothing truly against time shares or the presentations
for such investments.
I
absolutely get why people make fun of them, and have heard plenty
of horror stories that deserve every joke that can possibly be
created at their expense. But I also have friends that enjoy their
time share units. I’ve even attended time share presentations
(usually in order to get some theme park tickets at a great rate).
What
I am attempting to present it that there is a balancing act about
time shares. I understand the skepticism about them. I also know
people that love them. The trouble area is that many people have
absolutely no clue what a time share presentation involves. Many
people have absolutely no idea what a time share is. And that
zone of missing information is the trouble spot.
When
you don’t know what is happening… and don’t understand what is
being shown to you… the very best advice is also the simplest:
stop, step to the side, take a deep breath and collect yourself.
Or even more simply, stop. Don’t act. Don’t think. Just stop.
Back
to failing to respond.
When
you don’t answer a bill or an official envelope regarding jury
duty, there will be consequences. But those aren’t the envelopes
we’re looking at here. Instead, this is a mailer delivered by
shotgun approach, hoping to attract one or two inquisitive folks
and move them to responding. The letter basically highlights and
warns of repercussions for failing to respond. But when you actually
read the fine print, you see that failing to respond means nothing
especially noteworthy in this case.
I
like the business approach that says an honorable deal today should
be an honorable deal tomorrow. While not perfectly true since
there are things that do need to be decided more quickly than
others, I tend to get really suspicious about companies that can’t
offer me something because that deal ended last week or that offer
wasn’t for my particular situation. I like to believe that both
sides of a deal can be happy and that a handshake should mean
something. I like offers that stand by the details.
But
it would appear that nothing works better than pressure and threats.
And to that end, I suppose, there needs to be consequences for
a failure to respond. (Even when those consequences mean absolutely
nothing to you, and actually could be a wise move for you in the
long run.)
As
a friend of mine put it, doing nothing is still doing something.
~ ~
~ ~ ~
This
essay joins a few others I’ve tried to write over the years, attempts
at investigating the intersections of ideas that swirl and duck
and dive and swarm around scams, junk mail, marketing and a few
others.
Why?
Well…
I
find it interesting that mail arriving at my house, where someone
was able to have my name placed on it as the addressee, still
needs to add “or current resident” on the label. (Why would a
“current resident” necessarily be interested in something where
they weren’t named specifically but someone else was?)
I
find it interesting that many of the scams that seem so obvious
and stupid are actually designed to be obvious and stupid. After
all, someone that can’t figure out that the approach is dumb makes
for a pretty good target to lead further down the hole.
I
find it interesting that people act, often with significant investments
of time and money, on what they don’t understand.
Three
days ago, an e-mail arrived. If we take the contents as true,
it was from a manager of a company that produces outdoor products,
including backpacks. She said that she knew I was in the market
for sports products, with backpacks an important accessory. All
of which tells me that the possibility exists—again, face value
of the e-mail—that some programming code was developed, picked
up on the title of my web site, and the word backpack created
both a hit and an assumption. But it’s pretty darn obvious she
never looked at my web site for a second, because I’ve got no
need for any of that stuff.
And
that’s the joy found within most of this junk scam contact stuff.
It doesn’t take a lot of research to eliminate most of it as misplaced
and wrong. But the reality is, it isn’t going away. It’s like
the old idea about radar detectors. As soon as one technology
is developed, another is designed to overcome it, leading to a
redesign of the original technology. To appropriate a phrase from
a different area… lather, rinse, repeat.
“…Failure
to Respond…” isn’t the first time, and likely won’t be the last
time, I wander along this road, examining where the Venn diagram
takes me. The real question is whether the next motivation will
be an offer to sell me backpacks, yet another threat that nothing
will happen if I do nothing, or something entirely different that’s
really more of the same.