I don’t like people.
Maybe
that seems a bit strong.
But
I didn’t say I hate people… just a current state of serious
dislike. It’s a step or two above that sentiment of “if all these
people would just leave me alone, I could get my work done” in
a situation where, naturally, those same people I wish would leave
are exactly why I have work… and a job… in the first place.
A
friend of mine had a great thought about dealing with the hassles
associated with life… both on personal and professional levels.
Her saying?
“Don’t
inconvenience me.”
Essentially
you could take that expression and place anything you want in
front of it. Kids want to have a sleepover on Friday night? Fine,
just don’t inconvenience me. Going to be late for work? Fine,
as long as it doesn’t inconvenience me. And so on and on. I don’t
want to spend Friday night driving around to pick up kids and
Saturday bringing them back home. I don’t want to spend the majority
of my shift cleaning up things you should have handled.
It’s
not quite a state of burnout, when the task itself just seems
frustrating and people are interrupting you. It’s different. Beyond
that. It’s the person in the express lane at the grocery store…
trying to get away with five items too many, and they also forgot
to bring cash or a debit card, and they can’t seem to find their
checkbook, and oh if you’ll just give them a minute. It’s the
person weaving over the lines on the road… doing ten miles an
hour under the speed limit for over five miles of road where you
can’t pass, and then lowering the cell phone out of view when
they pass the police officer parked on the side of the road.
My
stepson has a great idea for cell phone users. If you have a cell
phone in your car, you should be required to display the phone
number on the back of your car. That way, when you start driving
stupid, the person you are blocking can call you up, have you
put the other person on hold, and tell you to hang up, pay attention
and drive. I admit, it still needs some work, but it does have
several great points in its favor.
When
I was growing up I used to hear people say… and I’m sure all of
you heard this as well… either “there’s no such thing as a stupid
question” or “the only stupid question is the one you don’t ask.”
Well, they were wrong. There are plenty of stupid questions.
Lots and lots and lots of them.
And
people aren’t afraid to ask them.
And
inconvenience me.
I
suppose this whole inconvenience things leads into a more important
question… what constitutes an inconvenience. If I don’t want you
to inconvenience me, than I’m saying there are some things that
I would not be upset by. Things I wouldn’t say were an inconvenience
if presented with them. Perhaps, just perhaps, there are things
I might be interested in. Which of course, leads us to what might
be the more appropriate form of “don’t inconvenience me.” A simple
question…
“What’s
in it for me?”
Ah
yes. Now that’s better. I’ll take care of this for you, but… what’s
in it for me? No, I don’t mind doing that, but… what’s in it for
me? So instead of being put out by the whole darn thing… why do
I want to do it?… what’s my motivation?
I
used to know this guy… tremendous ability to socialize. You could
introduce him to anyone, and from the first words out of his mouth
he would engage them with a great conversation. The funny thing
was, I also noticed something else about him. You could put him
in a room with… oh pick a number, 10? 20? 30?... people that he
didn’t know. And within thirty minutes not only could he point
to the majority of the room and correctly identify them by name
and occupation, but he could tell you what all of those people
he named could do for him…
“He
works for an electronics company and he’s going to get me some
great speakers for my car. She works for a record store and
knows how to order that CD I’ve wanted but haven’t been able
to find. And remember how I was hoping to get engaged? Well,
she makes custom jewelry settings and is going to design the
ring with me. And he works for a travel company, heard me talking
about it, and is going to send me information on special deals
for magical proposal settings.”
…and
so on. He was, and is, good. Give him five minutes with a person
and not only will he know their name and family history, but he’ll
also have them contracted to build a deck in his backyard. Strange
thing is, I don’t ever recall seeing him in anyone else’s
backyard building their deck. Know what I mean?
I
got married just over six years ago. One of the best and smartest
things I ever did in my life. Along with a wonderful bride, I
gained two stepsons. And quite quickly, I learned something very
valuable. If you don’t hide the leftovers, they’ll be gone by
morning. Interpret that in any way you see fit, simply understand
that sometimes it isn’t such a bad thing to keep things from the
kids. To be greedy. Unfortunately the youngest one is on to us,
and he’s also taller than us now. Hiding things is more difficult
than ever.
But
the thing is, like it or not, society in general is designed around
two concepts. First, an equal exchange where I’ll take care of
this for you as long as we can finish off that for me. Or second,
look out for number one. I’m sorry about this folks, but let’s
face it, in society today it is virtually accepted as being better
to receive instead of to give.
I
worked with someone several years ago and we were exchanging horror
stories about social lives. (Ok, we were talking about my horrible
social life.) His summation of the dating world?
“If
you don’t reach into the jar, you ain’t getting a cookie.”
A
smart man.
And
maybe that’s the real summation to it all. See, we grow up and
go from dreaming about our future to actually having to pay the
bills during our present. Instead of becoming a professional athlete,
a famous musician, or maybe even a fireman, we end up having to
pay rent, buy a car, and support a family. And we take what we
need to in order to pay those bills. Dreams have a price. And
so does life.
So
far too many of us wind up looking at the work as an inconvenience.
It’s not what we want to be doing. It’s not what we would be doing
if we had a choice. It’s what we have to be doing. So stop bothering
me, stop interrupting me, stop inconveniencing me.
Unless,
of course, it’s in my best interest to listen to what you have
to say.