Every
so often, I find a saying rattling around in my head. Much like
any song that begins playing and then won’t leave alone, you find
your thoughts drawn to it. And, in my case, looking it over from
different angles.
The
first consideration here is about the obvious elephant in the
room.
Is
liquor quicker?
Because
that’s the expression. That’s the literal of it…
“Candy
is dandy, but liquor is quicker”
Hard
not to read it and think of a dating scenario, with a doorbell
rung and a suiter presenting flowers and a box of chocolates.
Also not hard to miss the nod to legendary poor-decision-making
assistance of alcohol.
To
our credit on the whole, social awareness, practices, and expectations
have risen in many ways. I wish it were universally true… it’s
not. We still have a long way to go. A very long way to go. But
I’d like to think that by and large, the majority of us treat
each other with respect and dignity, and that we understand where
actions can be wrong and abusive. (And I hope that’s not too naïve
of me.)
The
difficulty is that in this day and age that combines political
correctness with social awareness, pressured by quick responses,
fueled by anonymous and thoughtless reactions, the navigation
of strong subject matter can be a dangerous course to set. People
jump to conclusions and reactions and criticisms without knowing
context or situations.
So
let me be clear… this is not an essay that in any way should be
viewed as being about using alcohol in an evil, manipulative,
wicked manner. Let’s make an attempt to look beyond that concept,
and figuratively, not ring that doorbell. Let’s consider this
instead a thought featuring the battles between the mythic good
boy and bad boy qualities. Let’s consider, gosh darn it, as so
many good boys might complain: why is the bad boy found more appealing?
Why is dangerous more exciting?
The
original quote belongs to Ogden Nash. Known for his sense of humor
and incredible rhymes, Nash is certainly a name you know, though
you may not know why. There’s a lot of that around. And I’m sure
you even know quotes where you think you know who said it, but
the world has poorly or incorrectly attributed the source.
Anyway…
Nash… and the quicker liquor.
I
suppose both might be thought of as vices. The candy considered
a harmless one in moderation. Alcohol in moderation being fine
as well… in more than my opinion alone… and some will even tell
you that the glass of wine assists in improving health.
Both
are taxed in some ways by society. Liquor at the point of purchase.
And candy? Well… point of purchase, and certainly people will
eventually want to tax it even more because it’s just not healthy
eating. But more to the idea, what about health care costs? Now
insurance programs want to raise rates for people that smoke and
are overweight… because of course, some printed on paper, cookie-cutter
view of what is healthy is always right.
Of
course, we can also switch the concept of this meaning to something
much more likely…
You’ve
heard that you get more bees with honey than vinegar. You’ve probably
been told… quite often… that nice matters. And it does. It’s important
to be kind and nice to people. But if you want a kiss goodnight…
A
friend of mine one time came up with a great line when it came
to the dating world. If you don’t reach into the jar, you aren’t
getting a cookie. I can appreciate the thought.
Nice
does matter. And I hope as a man that I’ve treated women with
respect, kindness and generosity during the course of my lifetime.
But the holders of doors and bearers of flowers tend to be left
holding the door.
Now…
let’s pause for a moment. When viewed as a marathon, the lessons
of the tortoise and the hare do apply. It is possible that showing
up with a box of chocolates will ultimately lead to a reward.
The thing is… it’s a long-term reward. And I think the biggest
understanding we need to clarify is this: “Candy is dandy, but
liquor is quicker” is not a long-term approach. And therein lies
a modern day method for approaching that elephant.
As
we grow… as people… as a civilized society… and hopefully, as
we learn to appreciate and respect each other as individuals,
so many legendary stereotypes will need to be faced, torn apart,
and possibly even reconsidered.
Is
liquor quicker?
Yup.
It’s
quicker because it’s the easy path… the exciting path… the dangerous
and tempting path. When followed by agreeable and consenting parties,
none of those factors make it the wrong path. And to that observation,
the saying remains true.