I
used have this running joke I’d use in blurbs on the web site.
The idea was centered around a concept I called a blazing flash
of the obvious. In an old “A Momentary Lapse…” column, I introduced
it this way:
I
have a new phrase I’m going to be using, B-FOTO. Stands for
Blazing Flash Of The Obvious. These are moments where people
make comments or write things that in no way, shape or form
need to be said. The idea is just so incredibly obvious that
to say it makes people question your intelligence. And yet,
some individuals, straight-faced and serious, still say them.
Here are two examples…
My
wife and I were looking to re-finance our home recently. I happened
to be on-line, and found some information on consolidation,
and since it was free, I ordered it. When it arrived, one of
the booklets was on credit cards. Guess how you help yourself
get out of credit card debt? Apparently you stop using the credit
cards, pay cash for stuff, and if you don’t have the cash available
you don’t buy it. Your credit card bills should go down.
That’s
it. To get yourself out of credit card debt, don’t
use credit cards.
I
wish I was making this up.
Here’s
another…
Earlier
this week Jean-David Levitte, France's ambassador to the United
States, was quoted as saying that “If Saddam Hussein were to
use chemical and biological weapons, this would change the situation
completely and immediately for the French government.” Let’s
see… Iraq said they don’t have any weapons of mass destruction.
The position of France was that the United Nations’ inspections
were working and should have been given more time. But now that
the U.S.-led attack has begun, if Iraq uses these weapons that
they don’t have, France would rethink its position.
Really?
They
would?
B-FOTO
is gone. I haven’t used it in a while. But the concept is alive
and well. Stupid people doing stupid things earning a collective
reaction of nothing. Come on… do any of you really need to be
told that the way to get rid of credit card debt is to not use
them and pay them off? Do we really need to hear that France would
change its mind if what they contended was inaccurate was proven
differently?
We
deserve better than that… we deserve a bit more respect. And yet…
Alright…
well… here we go again with another brilliant and current example.
The
BBC is reporting that lack of sleep can be
harmful to your health and alter your brain activity. (That’s
why the idea is in this column folks… it’s hardly a stunner. But
wait… it goes on.) In fact, not only do lab rats deprived of sleep
have a different make up of chemicals produced in their body,
but it took a week to restore normal sleep patterns and another
week on top of that to return the body to its normal production.
Think
about that for a second.
Got
it?
Ok…
let’s review… it is possible that if you were deprived of sleep
for 72-hours, your body would, physically, act differently. (Yes?
So far, so good.) And, if you were allowed to return to a normal
sleep pattern after being awake for 72-hours, it might take you
a week to get back into a routine. (Fair? Good. Moving on…) And,
even after returning to a normal sleeping routine, your body might
need some more time to get back into doing the things it does.
For
a very reasonable price, and Princeton University making the effort
of calling me, I could have told them roughly the exact same information
and saved them a ton of money and time.
Princeton:
“Hi Bob. Thanks for helping out. Question number one: If we
kept you awake for 72 straight hours, would you behave differently
in hours 60, 65 and 70 than you do in hours 4 and 5?”
Me:
“Absolutely.”
Princeton:
“And do you think your body would be producing different chemicals
and such?”
Me:
“Yeah. No question. My appetites change when I stay up for 18
to 22 straight hours. I get that cola-burn in the pit of my
stomach. I’m sure after 36 or 48 hours, I’d be eating differently,
and my body would be breaking it down differently from lack
of rest. So yeah, I bet my blood work would be out of whack
and there would be some strange stuff going on after three days.”
Princeton:
“How long would it be until you got back to a regular sleeping
routine?”
Me:
“At least five days. See, on days one and two, I would try to
regain the 24 hours of sleep I lost over three days of being
awake. But that never works, because as we all know you really
can’t go chasing after sleep. So for two to four days I’d be
kind of lethargic and out of it. By the way, what days are you
keeping me awake? I wouldn’t want to miss My Name is Earl
or The Office, so depending on what I have to do while
getting back into my routine, like catching up on television
or the news that I missed while sleeping, it might take an extra
day or two while I try to get some important stuff done that
I can’t reschedule. Let’s say a week.”
Princeton:
“Wow. A week. Do you think everything would be back to normal
after that week?”
Me:
“Actually, no, probably not. It’s been a week since the Super
Bowl and I still can’t look at the leftovers in the freezer
without shuddering. And those are all of my favorite snack foods.
I can’t believe that everything would be right with me after
trying to get back into the rhythm of regular sleep for seven
days. Hey, did you guys ever hear about a study on habits? I
think they said it takes like 21 days of repetition to turn
something into a habit. I would think that if creating a habit
involved adjusting your body, this might be along a similar
line of thought since you disrupted everything and then have
to get it started again. I don’t know, maybe you could take
some of their research.”
Princeton:
“Hmm… ok. Maybe we’ll check into that.”
I
figure the conversation would have moved along on those lines.
How long did that take? Three or four minutes?
Hey,
forget calling me. Just ask someone that has flown a great distance…
say like when I flew from Rhode Island to Australia. Change the
hours of the day and also force me to try and sleep on a sold-out
plane… you’ll have me messed up. So this research could have been
wrapped up just by interviewing people with jet lag.
The
funny thing is… when you read the article itself they say something
I found interesting (well, sort of)… evidently they were trying
to figure out why people are stressed, cranky and seem to have
decreased abilities when functioning with lack of sleep.
Here’s
what Dr. Neil Stanley had to say: “It is an interesting finding.
It would be interesting to see if partial sleep deprivation -
getting a little bit less sleep every night that you need - had
the same effect.”
(I
don’t think he’s kidding. Ok, they didn’t ask, but I’ll offer…)
The
answer is yes.
Ask
anyone that has brought a baby into their home whether or not
they feel that even a slight amount of sleep deprivation changed
the way their body felt.
Heck…
I’m still going crazy with Molly, our St. Bernard puppy. She’s
cute and adorable and all… but also a royal pain in the tush when
Justin wakes up in the morning, turns on the light in the hall
and lets her know someone else is awake that she could be playing
with instead of sleeping in her kennel at the end of my bed.
So
I’d be more than happy to tell these folks that while possibly
not to the same extreme, absolutely it has an effect.
Could
someone have Dr. Stanley give me a call?