When
was the last time you were involved in a true surprise?
Giving
or receiving. Just wondering. When was the last time someone did
something for you that you weren’t expecting, or, that you did
something for someone else?
Let’s
say you live in an apartment complex. And, it’s snowing.
Most
people will tell you stories about how they went outside, spent
an hour or more digging their car out of the mountain of snow
that the plow clearing the parking lot buried their car within.
Then, after investing all that time, they ran to the store just
for some juice and eggs, and five minutes later when they returned
a neighbor had taken their spot.
Rarely
do you hear stories from people that went downstairs after a heavy
storm to find that their car had been dug out and cleaned off
by the neighbor.
Past
year has been a bit rough. Every so often, a package has arrived.
One of our friends sends a little note, and has been including
a mask with each one. Another wrote a beautiful and thoughtful
letter while sending a blanket to my wife. I cannot tell you how
amazing the gestures felt when we received them and realized what
they were. Simply put, I can tell you that angels walk among us.
I
don’t want to act all self-congratulatory, but it works for the
story so I’ll risk it. Terry and I have been known from time-to-time
to eat in a Japanese steakhouse, at one of those hibachi grills
where you are seated with some people you have never previously
met, and we’ve paid the check and left quickly so our tablemates
wouldn’t find out we picked up their tab until after we were gone.
My
neighbor is older. Has a couple of trees in his yard, and I don’t
blame him one bit for not wanting to get out there when the leaves
are falling. Trouble is, when they do fall, the established paths
mean they blow into our yard. And if I’m not on top of it as the
process starts, then they blow into a drainage ditch. That means
I need to head out with a rake and get the leaves—the now very
wet leaves—out of the ditch more or less by hand.
One
year I asked if he minded if I cleaned up the leaves while they
were in his yard. He said fine, and I’ve been riding my mower
into his yard with the bagger attached once or twice each fall
ever since. I’ve never asked specifically, so I have no clue if
he appreciates the effort or honestly doesn’t care since he wasn’t
planning to rake anyway. I’d like to think he believes it’s a
nice gesture in some small way, even though I really do it to
save myself extra work later on.
Whether
we do these things for others, or in the case of the leaves, even
as a gift to ourselves, the larger picture involves the existence
of a sense of kindness in the world. Something that goes a bit
beyond holding a door open for someone, moving into the area of
generating a smile. I’d be so brave as to say making the world
a better place, but come on, sometimes it’s leaves in a drainage
ditch.
Still,
brings me back to my original thought. When was the last time
a card or something unexpected arrived at your home? When was
the last time you sent a card or package?
It’s
not something we can all do. Some of us are on fixed budgets.
Even sending a package, where the contents and shipping combine
for about $20, can be an unaffordable luxury. And that’s why I
would argue it’s all the more important that we recognize it when
it happens, and try to be a part of it when we can.
Some
might lead the discussion into an examination of karma. Others
might bring on a discussion about paying it forward. I suppose
there’s some merit in the ideas.
For
me, when I try to reach out to others it’s usually a combination
of respect and kindness. Small attempts at cheering people up
and trying to make a small corner of my community a slightly better
place.
There’s
a theory that people teach in customer service seminars that involves
smiling. They’ll tell you to smile when you pick up the phone.
It makes a difference even when the person on the other end of
the conversation can’t see you. In a way, that concept is what
I’m reaching toward.
We
need to say hello, smile at each other, and maybe just try to
be nice. Small efforts, to be certain. But I know how I feel each
time I see a card in the mail, and I’m grateful for having the
people in my life that sent it.
Be
one of those people. One of the welcome surprises.